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1

<p>topic: Is price necessarily a reflection of value? (sorry, I dont have any of the other parts of the question)</p>

<pre><code> The question “Is price necessarily a reflection of value?” suggests that an objects price may not be directly related to what its worth. In other words, something expensive may turn out to be worthless. In my opinion, this correlation is incorrect–price is no reliable reflection of value. Throughout society and in life, the evidence to support my viewpoint is pervasive.

   Consider the situation I went through myself in buying a new school binder my freshman year.  When I entered the school store, my eyes immediately came to focus on the luxurious $60 binder on the pedestol.  However, after making a quick purchase, I realized my papers would slip through the back of it: the binder had holes.  This just goes to show that price is no accurate prediction of value.

   Another example is provided by Orson Scott Card's novel "Ender's Game," written in North Carolina in the 1980's.  In this book, Ender's parents pay millions of dollars to allow ender to wear a special earpiece letting space commanders read his thoughts.  However, his parents never suspected the space commanders would fly down and haul off their son--leaving them childless and millions of dollars poorer.  This also proves my point that dishing out money doesn't always end well.

 As a final vivid example, consider the great early American ship--the Titanic.  With its fancy velvet carpeting and diamond chandeliers, the ship just oozed high-class luxury--and it attracted it, too.  Thousands of rich upper-class entrepeneours and patrons payed their millions for a ticket aboard the cruise of a lifetime.  Few returned.  The bottomline here is that these people were attracted to the price of the ship, and overlooked is technical flaws and lack of escape routes that caused so many deaths.

 Clearly, the examples above show that price bears no correlation to value.  As my personal experience with the attractive school binder goes to show, not considering value over price can lead to poor decisions.  Ender's parents could have had their money and their son had they not been so attracted to the expensive earpiece.  If there is one thing to learn from this, it is not to use price as a representative of value.

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<p>Can you score me and tell me where to improve?</p>

2

<p>Someone? I could really use some feedback…</p>

3

<p>8 - 10. Your argument is very simplistic, and your examples are not very relevant to proving your point. However, you have good length and lots of vocab words (however, you’re needlessly flowery at times and use some informal expressions, which you should generally avoid). So… 8 if readers bother to read your essay all the way through and realize how simplistic it is… 10 if readers get lazy, see vocab words and length, and move on from there.</p>

<p>Your examples make the argument that spending tons of money doesn’t necessarily get you what you want. However, you want to be making the argument that an object’s value is not reflected in its cost. The two are not the same. You’re writing about consequences; you want to be writing about an object’s inherent value. Ideally, you want to be talking about things you hold dear that wouldn’t have a very high price tag as well as things you don’t hold dear that do have a very high price tag (something more sophisticated than a poorly-constructed binder).</p>

<p>In general, you should pay close attention to what the prompt itself is asking. Give a more nuanced argument, and don’t veer from the prompt!</p>