Our places are considered Nice-casual and have a niche for being kid—and family-friendly. We have cloth napkins. For us, 99.5% of the time is fine. Most of the time, when you ask nicely, parents cooperate quickly. It’s a tiny percentage that can drive you nuts, and with social media, not the right business to be in to piss anyone off.
Blockquote
We always took our kids to whatever restaurant we wanted to eat at BUT we always went early (before 6pm) in an attempt to avoid the dinner rush and to be sure we were out of there before each kid’s “bewitching hour”. We knew our kids’ triggers and made sure to be armed with activities & snacks. We also chose restaurants with quick service. We weren’t looking for a 2-hour dining experience.
I think it’s important to teach kids proper etiquette and behavior from a young age, so we never avoided restaurants or church. That said, I wouldn’t allow them to disturb others, I would remove them from the situation (the kids, that is 
)
Same here. We also left grocery stores and other retail places if our kids weren’t behaving. It was the considerate thing to do for the others shopping there.
Same here. And honestly we found leaving to be the best way to modify our kids’ behavior. They learned very quickly that if they wanted to enjoy the restaurant or store they needed to follow the appropriate etiquette.
Exactly.
We didn’t take babies to restaurants, and especially to ones that were not family restaurants. We got baby sitters. And yes, I know this can be costly, and I also know some babies need to be fed by their mothers. We strongly felt that we needed to look at the collective needs of all the patrons, and not just what we felt like doing. To be honest, we did not take our kids to restaurants very often until they were older.
We took our kids everywhere but I am the last person who wants to deal with crying babies or misbehaved kids in public. That was “date night” whether I had the kids with me or not. Took some planning–entertainment, packed kid food, plan around sleep time and my kid’s schedule. Didn’t always work but I got very good at it. If it didn’t work, we left or abandoned a meal for a while to go outside.
Now I hear a baby cry and say “glad that’s not me!” and have a good bit of patience–but only for parents who are willing to take care of the situation.
We actually had a phrase “(child’s name) had to be removed from the situation”. Happened with both but more often with one of them. My kids are now grown and think that phrase is hilarious
.
1000% this.
I am a huge fan of short, easy to understand mantras. One in our household when ds was growing up was, “When you go out to eat, you stay in your seat.” This expectation was known ahead of time. I remember one incident at a Tex-Mex place when ds was a toddler and finished eating long before we did and was fidgety and wanted to get down from his seat. Leaving the dining table at a restaurant was NEVER an option. And, he knew that. He was just pushing a boundary. It’s a test. (Actually, leaving the table wasn’t allowed at home either until everyone was finished eating, now that I think about it). He started melting down, and I scooped him up and immediately took him outside while dh got to-go boxes and paid our bill. Repeated that mantra the entire time I was carrying him out. Several times on the way home. Little kids can learn quickly as long as expectations are clear and consequences are followed through.
I’m also in the camp of taking them to nicer (cloth napkin) places as they grow. Ds and I had a couple of years when he was probably age 7-8 where we had season tickets to the symphony. I did choose the Sunday matinee and was sad when that option was eliminated. Of course, I’d never take an infant to a symphony. It’s about understanding what they are capable of at various ages.
We didn’t take the kids to restaurants when they were babies. When they were toddlers and older we always prioritized the other diners so if there were any behavioral issues we would remove ourselves from the situation.
Fortunately they were not only very well behaved (from a noise standpoint, which includes banging utensils and speaking volume), but also were neat. I’m always amazed at parents who allow their children to drop food on the floor without correcting the behavior. Even if it’s an accident (cheerios spilled on the floor) they were expected to clean up any mess…just like at home.
Now, when I see parents trying to manage/teach their children in a restaurant and the kids are good, I usually smile encouragingly.
There are several amusing signs about screaming children (given an expresso and a puppy, etc) but in all seriousness, it is unfair to other diners. Parents who are indignant and disrespectful to you and/or other diners should be put on the “we don’t have any room for your party” for future reservations.
I think the point of this post is not about how you handled your children when they were misbehaving.
But how to handle when others bring their misbehaving children and are disturbing all those around them.
I think we have all been in a restaurant where someone had a child whose behavior was so distracting that it was upsetting for everyone in the restaurant.
How does the owner or manager of said establishment handle disruption to all?
I wish that everyone was as respectful and responsible as most of the posters here. Unfortunately there are those who are not. How do we as diners handle it? How would we like management to handle it?
My own child is so afraid of their child misbehaving that they literally never take her to a restaurant. I don’t think that’s the correct answer either. They aren’t the problem, the people who bring their children and let them run wild are.
Has society changed that misbehaving is okay? Has society changed that correcting their child is also wrong?
Occasions where I’ve thought management handled things well:
Offered to move the family with the out of control child to a quieter part of the restaurant or if the family didn’t want to move, offer to relocate the diners around them. (Obviously not possible if there is no other space).
We’ve been comped drinks before and offered an apology. That went a long way in knowing management was trying and aware it was an issue.
I will say, I’m much much more tolerant in a family friendly restaurant. If there is a kids menu, then I’m making a choice to eat where I know children are welcome and not expecting a quiet romantic date night.
FWIW we definitely took our D to restaurants, even as a baby. But we were careful on timing, location and were ready to leave if we couldn’t get her calm. By the time she was a preschooler eating out was a special treat/occasion and she was on her best behavior. She did her first tasting menu at 8 years old.
I agree that kids need to learn those kind of social life skills.
My H’s family used to practice at home. They’d get dressed up, have a special meal and eat in the dining room with the good china and such. Restaurant etiquette expected.
PS. This thread is making me feel like a grouchy old lady 
I’m definitely a cranky old lady, get off my lawn person now!
These are great suggestions!
I really can’t say I recall a time when a screaming baby was left to disrupt a restaurant. Seems an adult was always willing to intervene and take the baby out. Now airplanes are a different story, but of course we are all captives there. I have such sympathy for parents of infants /toddlers on airplanes.
With toddlers and older kids in restaurants, I don’t think I would directly approach the family unless I could phrase it as a safety issue. Maybe along the lines of “I see your child has lots of energy, but I’m worried the waitstaff will trip over them if they are running between the tables.”
I agree! I love the practicing at home!
I can’t remember any incidences where our children screamed in restaurants. Either we never brought them, we never ate out, or my memory is totally shot. Pick two?
We were once out at a restaurant and the folks next to us had some younger kids who were “hard to manage”. We politely asked the restaurant host to reseat us. Their initial response was that there were no other tables. We politely said…we would just be leaving. Miraculously a table became available on the complete opposite side of the restaurant in a little side room.
I’m not sure that other family even noticed.
We’ve done that more than once.
Heck we’ve done that when seated next to a blowhard guy who was talking obnoxiously loud to his table.