Absolutely this. Once we sat next to a very loud table with a lot of screaming kids who were literally running around at a very nice restaurant. What really made us decide to never return was when either the manager or owner came over and it turned out they were friends or family with the table and had a great time socializing with them amidst all the screaming.
Anyway, as others have said both W and I burned a lot of shoe leather pacing around outside of restaurants with a fussy baby while D was young.
We had an âentertainment bagâ weâd always bring that had toys and treats, and were always surprised when weâd go out with other parents who not only didnât bring a single thing for their kids, they were amazed that we did.
The thing that used to get me is when parents would let their kids make a mess and leave without cleaning it up. What a great example youâre setting there.
I definitely feel for parents who have little ones that are melting down, and we have definitely been there before in the past. Recognizing that our kidsâ behavior affected other diners made it an easy decision for us to bring them outside until they were able to not disturb others. I think it was important for us to realize that we are raising adults, and they needed to learn have to behave in different situations.
This is perhaps a bit off topic, but for me what is even more frustrating is people who bring their dogs to dog friendly breweries or restaurants but donât have the awareness to realize that not all dogs can or should be out in public. We were at a brewery this weekend and saw multiple dogs that were barking, growling and trying to go after other dogs and it really was not an appropriate venue for aggressive or not well behaved dogs. I love my pups, but realize that that not everyone likes dogs and there are 100% places I would not take them because it would be too much for them.
This is terrible behavior on the part of the parents, and I feel so bad for the servers who have to clean it up. Whenever I see that I silently hope that the family tipped accordingly.
I would never (and have never) directly approach a parent of misbehaving kids. I canât imagine a scenario where pointing out the parenting shortcomings of a stranger would end well. I leave that task to the management of the establishment.
I feel for the parents with babies on planes - thereâs nothing they can do. I had a screaming baby behind me on an overnight flight to Europe. It was torturous (especially given I had paid for premium economy) and the parents kept apologizing and they were doing everything they could. Everyone on the plane could hear it - we were one row back from first class, so those folks werenât sleeping either.
When we had two toddlers, we would plan any restaurant outing based around naptime. We would also order for them right away when we sat down, so they did not get hangry. But they were very good, and were happy to be out and eating like big girls lol. About the fanciest we ever got was someplace like Applebees.
Now, when we have more money, we donât go out to eat very often because of other peopleâs behavior (not necessarily just babies). Same reason we donât go to movies or concerts anymore - most people are rude.
We couldnât afford a babysitter until my kids were 6&3. Our first dinner out - to Outback - we were seated next to a screaming baby! We asked to be moved and we were. Otherwise, we just suck it up, though honestly I donât remember too often being affected by it.
We almost always go to places with paper napkins and try to hit it before 6. Thatâs what we did with our kids, and the habit stuck. The kids seemed to have a 45-60 min window where they would be good. If 30 minutes of that was waiting for a table, youâd be in trouble. Before 6, never a wait. I used to have a pocket in my purse full of crayons and weâd draw on the paper menus. When they were little itty bitty, neither of mine would ever sit in a high chair - not at home, not in a restaurant. I ate with them on my lap, sometimes standing by the table or Iâd take it outside if they were fussing. We always try to tidy up our table as much as possible, kids or not.
Iâm going to add that understand that in MANY (did not say all!) cases the child(ren) who are misbehaving at a restaurant (take anyone 18 months and younger out of this equation) and NOT responding to behavior management by the parentsâŠthis may be typical out of the house or IN THE HOUSE behavior. In fact in many cases the parents may not be implementing ANY behavior management at the restaurant and inconsistently at home. They may be oblivious. Because if they were tuned in to this NOT being typical behavior for the situation or for their child they would probably be doing all the things people have mentioned above. Implementing action in one way or another to diffuse the situation.
And for those 18 months (roughly) and under, the best management tactic is to remove them from the situation and give them the opportunity to regroup - both the child AND the parent!
My experience has been that there is a very tiny percentage of blatantly obnoxious people. For example, it has only happened a few times: a busy night with a long wait for walk-ins. We tell a walk-in will be 45 minutes, and they see open reserved tables and start complaining. You explain they are reserved. We have had people sit at those reserved tables and refuse to move.
I have some family members with kids on the spectrum, who may have a hard time tolerating noise, or the ability to sit still throughout a meal. They do do a good job of taking them outside to help regroup, but not all people in the restaurants understand. Not everyone is neurotypical. And they have a right to dine out as well. Just sayinâ
No, we wouldnât serve them. The manager on the floor is taught to defuse.= Calmly explain the situation. If they had a reservation, we wouldnât give your table away. Offer to buy them drinks at the bar. Especially with social media, you try not to let it escalate.
Our most significant issue is when people drink too much. That problem always comes when people get to your place with several drinks in them already. The bartenders and servers are trained to keep an eye on how much is being consumed, but trouble starts if some are halfway in the bag before they get there. It gets to a point where you have to say, Iâm either going to get you an Uber or call the police; your choice
I actually donât see screaming kids too often anymore - when they are out, their parents anesthetize them with devices. While that is great for the fellow diners, I suspect it isnât great for the kids in the long-run (often I see every family member zoned out on their own device).
Our D was a screamer So we avoided restaurants for quite a while. When we introduced her to restaurants we went to high-volume places and one of us would leave with her if needed.
Interestingly, having a screamer made us both much more sympathetic to others similarly âblessedâ. So, when weâre flying and we see that mom with a kid and a big bag, and we notice the other flyers not making eye contact, we reach out to her and offer her to sit with us.
There are so many challenges to owning food service facilities. This has got to be one of the most difficult, IMO. There was a truly horrible story about an intoxicated person who stopped for a hamburger on his way home, and when the server tried to take his keys and call an Uber, the, customer grabbed his keys and headed home. Unfortunately, he tried to go around a car making a left turn, and killed the author of âthe millionaire next-doorâ .
Respectfully, in a country where not even healthcare and education are treated as ârights,â there is no ârightâ to dining out, just as there is no right to be disruptive for any reason.
We have three kids, and I have experienced meltdowns. I get it on airplanes and have been there. Itâs not like you take the kid outside.
I will tell you one thing. Many restaurants that take reservations keep notes on customers, the majority of which is to serve you better. They like a booth or a window, have a favorite server or favorite dessert, or like to sit and block their table for extra time. Conversely, if you are a problem customer, that will be noted, too.
So we avoided restaurants for quite a while. When we introduced her to restaurants we went to high-volume places and one of us would leave with her if needed.