A few years ago our college age daughters asked us “ How did you get us to behave in restaurants”. Amd my answer was “ first give birth to children who will behave in restaurants….then expect them to behave”. For us that meant leaving immediately when our kids even started to become disruptive which didn’t happen often because of their temperaments
When when I was six and my brother was five, our parents took us on vacation into a very fancy restaurant. They stopped us at the hostess stand, and said that they didn’t allow children in the restaurant. My parents were like they’re very well behaved and you can kick us out at any time. The restaurant wasn’t super full so they let us sit down while my parents hissed at us” you better behave! “ And we did because we were well behaved children, and we liked to go to restaurants. We also liked ““ fancy food. I ordered the steak tartare, and my brother ordered escargot. Towards the end of the meal while we were quietly chatting with our parents, the maître d’ came over to our table and said that the chef wanted to meet the well behaved children who liked escargot and steak tartare. They took us to the kitchen and he made us bread swans.
I would never judge a parent in any sort of non voluntary space. People need groceries. People need to use transportation. As a society we need to deal with the fact that many kids will be less than well behave in these spaces or may have reasons why they can’t control themselves. A fancy restaurant though. If your child isn’t able to behave well you need not to go or be prepared to leave.
Depends on how old the baby is. If the baby is 13, then correction is an order. 0-3, junior is probably just hungry and needs a drink of milk or an appetizer. I usually just kindly ignore it and enjoy my meal. Parents are stressed enough. Parenting is a challenge made for those with youthful energy.
Also, a restaurant like Chilis etc. is fine for kids of any age because of the loud music and sports on the TV screens. If they misbehave, no one notices. Fine gourmet restaurants are best for couples on a date and the kids at home with a babysitter.
I think that we (as the cranky old lady that I am now) need to realize how society has changed.
Moms are working full time, dads are working full time. They are stressed in way that maybe we weren’t if we worked part time or stayed home for a time with our children.
Now also we can order everything and pick up our groceries so going out is also different.
So a mom may not have the luxury to leave when the kid acts upon the store. They have very limited time to shop or do errands. They are tired and stressed to the max.
All I want is some recognition that there are other people than you who also have to shop. Who also have limited time. Want to enjoy a meal in peace.
And I feel for servers and management. Because they are tasked in handling these sticky situations when everyone has a camera and want to post on social media without context. It’s a sticky environment these days.
Having kids is such an illogical decision, isn’t it . I guess that’s why is made for the young and inexperienced. If they knew what we know, no one would ever have kids.
I am more tolerant of screaming babies than I am of young children running amok. I hate when I am shopping and children are running through the aisles or around the shopping carts and the parents are totally ignoring them.
I will say that we once took our grandson, probably 18 mos. to a nice restaurant. We went early and were prepared to leave but he did great. They had seated us next to a waterfall display and he was fascinated. He spent the entire time watching it.
Once in TJ Maxx, I had a shopping cart and literally mowed down a child, probably 6 or 7, running along the outer edge of the store and I came around the corner of an aisle. Scared me to death. He was fine but I was crying. Crap.
A screaming baby does not particularly indicate poor choices on the part of the parents, and many parents with babies are on their first child and are just figuring things out. A child running amok is the direct result of poor choices made by the parents. A screaming baby is not likely to harm itself or others, while a child running amok is a risk to itself and to others.
Parents with a screaming baby should be given a little grace and support. Parents of children running amok in unsafe places (i.e., most places) should be removed along with their kids and be banned until they demonstrate that they can actually be parents.
I remember as a child, running and hiding in the middle of those round clothing racks. My mother perfected the art of grabbing my wrist with her thumb and pointer finger and squeezing in just right place It was an effective method to get me back on track! If I continued to misbehave, I could look forward to a visit from the wooden spoon or hairbrush when we got home. Ahhh, parenting in the 1970’s…
My mother broke a few wooden spoons on me and my brother. The last time she tried it, though, she first banged on the counter with it emphasizing each word: “I.AM.THE.MOTHER.AND.YOU.ARE.THE.CHILD…!” Mid-rant, the spoon broke into two flying pieces, and my brother and I just started laughing uncontrollably. That was the last of the wooden spoons if I recall correctly, but my brother and I can make each other laugh even today just by repeating those words.
. I guess that’s why is made for the young and inexperienced. If they knew what we know, no one would ever have kids.
It was an effective method to get me back on track! If I continued to misbehave, I could look forward to a visit from the wooden spoon or hairbrush when we got home. Ahhh, parenting in the 1970’s…
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