<p>Sorry for you in this tough time, They should always seek a second opinion, even in the darkest of times. Find out which Hospital is a tier 1 Hospital for this type of Cancer, for example Roswell in Buffalo is recognized as a tier 1 hospital for a specific type. Seek the opinion and possible treatment routine from the best of the best. In some cases they will be very upfront and stress that it isn’t about a cure, but about extending a persons life with a quality of life that is dignified and functional. I believe there is hope until these is no hope left. Support groups including friends and if you are a religious person a pastor can provide much needed comfort in these times of stress. Also one who is close to a terminally person can be helped by understanding the 4 phases of death, Shock, denial, acceptance, Religion.</p>
<p>I believe the stages of grief are most commonly accepted to be: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. There is also the theory of numbness, disorganization, reorganization.</p>
<p>There is always hope with cancer, no matter what the odds. My mom is ill again right now but…6 years ago she got pancreatic cancer, had a whipple procedure (Fox Chase center in PA), chemo, radiation and was all better. 2 years ago got colon cancer, surgery worked- again all better. Now we are in the midst of dealing with colon cancer that turned up in the lung, but she’s ready to fight again.
Here is my personal advice. Like everyone has said, help her - if she wants this kind of help - find the best center for this kind of cancer. A good cancer center will be open to more aggressive and newer treatments with a younger patient I suspect.
Will to live is important but one does NOT need to be Positive, Perky, Happy, Upbeat etc to beat cancer. It does help to have a good left hook to use when people share this info or tell you what stage of grief you should be at that week.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry to hear the news about your close friend’s husband. My thoughts are with them and with you as you take on the difficult role of providing moral and emotional support. Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives.</p>
<p>I have to echo what others have said about seeking out the best care. A close friend of the family was diagnosed in her early 50’s over 15 years ago with advanced colon cancer (sadly, she just passed away this year). She lived in FL but travelled up to Sloan Kettering in NY regularly for tests and treatment. Much of the treatment plan was able to be carried out much closer to her home in FL. Originally given just a few years to live, she was enrolled in several experimental trials over the years and her doctors feel that they added <em>many</em> more good years to her life. So frustrating, because we all felt that if she had been diagnosed NOW, rather than fifteen years ago, who knows what would have been possible? There is hope - breakthroughs are happening in this field at a quick pace.</p>
<p>My heartfelt wishes to you and your friends during this difficult time.</p>
<p>I just went to my BestFriend’s service today…</p>
<p>What we heard from friends was that talking about the usual stuff with the person left behind. Call and ask for advice, share some good news about your child, tell a funny story about the dog.</p>
<p>My friends H loves when people call asking about computers (his specialty, asking about a place he visisted to get advice…he feels like he can help and do something, because there was little besides support and love he could give his wife.</p>
<p>With my friend, she loved hearing about my Ds, the dogs, my mom, whatever</p>
<p>jasmom I lost both of my parents in 2005 and the one thing THEY each loved, was visits from their friends from far and wide (and I mean wide…friends from around the world came). When my cousin was diagnosed with a brain tumor 10 years ago I went to London and spent a week with him. We simply enjoyed the time, because he was still able to get around, cook, and be a participant.</p>
<p>I think it’s important for you to go visit him while he’s still together enough to enjoy the visit. </p>
<p>I don’t know if there are any words of comfort you can offer your dear friend except to stay in touch often, and don’t disappear. You might be surprised to learn how many “friends” disappear at the face of illness. Unfortunately I saw that side too. </p>
<p>Light to you and your friends at this time.</p>
<p>Friends are important – in good times and bad. Over the last year, in my group of 6 very good girlfriends, one died of cancer at the same time another was undergoing treatment for breast cancer. She struggled with cancer for two years. The rest of us tried very hard to support both friends – cooking, cleaning, driving to MD appointments, communicating important updates to one another, and spending quality time with friend in her last weeks (her spouse had to work and didn’t want to leave her alone). Since my friend died, this group has experienced – amongst our kids – two weddings, three babies (including grandbaby of woman who died – didn’t know her daughter was pregnant). We’ve had unbelieveable highs and very intense lows. At my friend’s funeral, so many people said “We didn’t know she was so sick”. Well, they never called or asked or sent a card. "just"aMom’s email is so right.</p>
<p>When my mom was battling breast cancer, she truly appreciated cards & letters with handwritten notes from friends. She also appreciated calls, but my dad was really good about letting people know if she wasn’t up to talking at that particular time (and they understood). Fortunately, she has been cancer-free for 12 years. However, I have never forgotten how much the little notes from friends meant to her during that time in her life.</p>