<p>Hi,
My D is a second semester freshman. It first semester was great. She was tripled, and made great friends with her roommates and a couple of girls on her floor. However it became evident she was closer to one roommate then the other. The roommate she was closest with was from the town the college was located in and wanted to transfer the second semester. My D was sad but she still had her other friends on her floor. As the semester went on the girls discussed living plans for fall semester next year, but nothing was sent in stone. Towards the end of break, my D received a text from her other roommate stating although she was a great roommate however she and the other girls planned to live together next fall without my D claiming there were no other options as they could not all fit in a suite. My D was extremely upset by the news, as she thought they were all great friends and thought they would discuss it when they got back. My D was very sweet towards the whole situation, way more understanding then i would have been. First day back after winter break my D sat her friends down and explained to them how she thought they were all great and friends and shocked by the whole situation. They claimed there were no other options and they all felt really bad. My D explained how there was another option, but it seemed they weren’t interested. I explained to my D that she should begin to reach out and make other friends, and she said she would however she said everyone was pretty much set in their own groups already, but she still wanted to remain friends with the girls . Everything pretty much was great after that for the first week. It seemed like they were all hanging out still and getting along great. However in recent days my D has said they recently started lying to her so she would not be included in things. My D hates confrontation and is a very shy girl. I say she should just hash things out with them tell her how she feels, and join some clubs, but i know she is scared. Does anyone have any advice i can give her?</p>
<p>Yup, you gave her good advice. Join clubs to meet other people. She’s got to learn how to move on from these kinds of situations. clearly these girls are not telling her everything, so she needs to pull back from them to a degree. They most likely will not be her friends bythe fall.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I would not encourage her to do that. She already explained to them how she felt about the living arrangement and they didn’t budge. They have formed their own group and they don’t give a hoot about her feelings. </p>
<p>The rest of your advice - to join other activities - is the way to go.</p>
<p>I think the good news is that your daughter got along so well for so long with this group of randomly assigned roommates. The chance that she will do well with a new group of girls is excellent. Perhaps her close friendship with the girl who is transferring set up the initial fracture, and the other girls formed stronger bonds during that time. Now they plan to room together next year and know your daughter feels bad about it. They may feel awkward around your daughter knowing her feelings. </p>
<p>It’s important your daughter knows she is not alone, her situation is being repeated many times across her campus and across the country. She might check Craigslist for listings of people on her campus seeking roommates, or perhaps there is a roommate finder on Facebook. It’s likely that she’ll find people who appreciate her much more than the group she’s with now.</p>