<p>Well, we got through last one going off to college this year. Adjusted and got into other activities, time for ourselves, travel, etc. </p>
<p>But now it is the holidays and this is the first time S1 and S2 will not be home for either holiday due to new jobs. They are 3/4 the way cross country. I am missing them already. We will have S3 and DD home, though, and we always do Thanksgiving with good friends. So really only 50% empty nest, but a hole none the less.</p>
<p>Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day. College is one thing, life with jobs quite another.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking about it, too.</p>
<p>My daughter is a college freshman and my son is a college senior. Although this is the first year that both have been gone during the college semesters – and that has been a huge change – another big change is coming next year.</p>
<p>My son is applying to graduate schools, most of which are on the other side of the country. And even if he ends up at a relatively nearby school, he is unlikely to come home for many breaks. For graduate students, those breaks are precious time for research – without the distraction of classes or TA duties. </p>
<p>The empty nest will be getting even emptier soon.</p>
<p>Yes, but the airplanes fly both ways. When they finish college and start grad school or jobs, they are more likely to be able to house you. When they want to buy furniture for their first place, just give them the “present” of a living room couch that folds down into a double bed futon. If they have roommates, they’re older and more gracious to adults, generally speaking, than college kids. Besides, once you’ve bought them the couch, it’s hard to deny you the right to sleep on it a few times each year.</p>
<p>I tend to pick a “plain weekend” to fly to them, not the big holidays, as they live in 3 distan6 cities. This holiday they’re always in my mind but I miss the sensory connection. </p>
<p>I’m trying to evaluate how important it is for THEM to see each other, since all 3 were tight growing up. That is a different issue than them seeing me, and I haven’t come up with a good approach yet; working on it. Only one is a college freshman now, so I’ve even outgrown my screenname. </p>
<p>Emotionally, it IS hard, this “second stage” empty nest. This Thanksgiving, nobody home because they’re closer to a grandparent, going with a girlfriend to her house, and on another coast so venturing out to meet a new cousin. </p>
<p>WIth nobody to cook for here, H and I are travelling to his brothers and frail elderly parents. We haven’t Thanksgivinged with them for many years, so it’s a time to make new connections, even back to your childhood tables. </p>
<p>I honestly feel happier my D will go see her Grandma and uncles’ families than come home and be the solo child at our table. With work, she can get to them easier/closer. </p>
<p>It;s all family, after all.</p>
<p>paying3: I know some families who have made a solid commitment to vacationing together every year so adult children can get together. This is done on parents’ dime, and if money is an issue (as it would be in my case) modest house can be rented in a centrally located vacation area off-season.</p>
<p>You handle your chicklessness very well indeed.</p>
<p>My FIL did that for a few years and it is something I hope to offer my kids someday, an annual trip and time together on my dime- though I will definitely recall all of our complaints and do it much better ;)</p>
<p>I had a coworker who shared holidays in a vacation area in PA. His parents bought the home and each child was gifted 1/5th and the parents kept a 1/5th. The money became available when his parents inherited some money. This way nobody has all the work of cleaning and cooking and everyone knows where the holidays will be held. They all clean before and after, and they all cook together. They just shop in advance and bring groceries, and they do cook some things ahead of time and just bring the dish to their family home. They use the home for long weekends in the warmer months too.</p>
<p>This year we vacationed with family members by renting a home along the beach. It was nice and relaxing.</p>