Years ago when my SIL had a baby, I took them a home made chicken pot pie – my own recipe that was really great (home made crust, and a creamy tarragon sauce). My BIL raved about it – said he almost ate the whole thing by himself because he couldn’t stop. SIL asked me for the recipe, at his request I’m sure. Later, he told me that “she makes it all the time now.” A few years later when I had a baby, she brought one over (she’s very tit for tat), and it was awful - no tarragon, most of the veggies substituted (full of mushy sweet potatoes instead), and in a store bought crust. It had no flavor and the texture was awful. Proves that it’s not all in the recipe. A good cook knows what goes together and what can improve a recipe or when to leave it alone.
A friend made an amazing crab dip. It was so easy, it was silly. Lump crab meat mixed with softened cream cheese, covered in cocktail sauce and sprinkle on old bay. People around here go crazy for it - but now for those of us who know it - it shows up everywhere and a few of us have to say - okay, we only need 1 crab dip.
Not secret as in, “I could tell you. But then I’d have to kill you.” Rather, our special tricks. We dont always go around announcing it’s got freaking Cool Whip in it.
And secret as in people assume complicated. Btw, no one asks me for these. If they did, fine.
And yes, it’s known some chefs omit an ingredient when sharing their restaurant recipe. But also, cutting a recipe down from restaurant larger quantities isn’t simple math.
Don’t leave out Tarragon, lol.
I have a pasta salad I doctor up and it’s one thing I make that everyone loves. It’s my go-to dish for guests in the summer or to take as a guest. If I give out my recipe, then everyone would be making it and now “my” special dish is not so special. On the flip side, I have a friend who makes a delicious rum cake and gives one to me every year on my birthday. I wouldn’t dream of asking her for the recipe. It’s her special thing. I’m not like this with most things…just this one.
^^^Ok, I see that point of view - so “secret” in the form of unexpected, or special ingredient.
I don’t have any recipes I keep secret. I do have a recipe for “Secret Cookies” my Great Aunt’s recipe for ground almond crescent cookies. For years she kept the recipe secret, but mailed everyone in the family tins of Christmas cookies every year that included them. Later in life she gave us all the recipe. We think the only reason she called it a secret is that it came from a box of powder sugar or something similar. I think the recipe must have fairly direct European roots as it calls for two sticks plus two tablespoons of butter which would give you German sized sticks of butter. Her main secret was she made all her cookies very small.
I do often make pretty wild substitutions. My cookbooks are full of notes about things I’ve tried that worked well.
I can’t think of anything I make with embarassing ingredients. Well My Last Name Chili - but no one but people with My Last Name think it tastes good. The recipe is one of those 1950s midwestern recipes. Who but someone from that era and that place could call this chili? Here’s the recipe: Cook one pound of spaghetti and brown one pound of hamburger. Drain the hamburger. Get out a casserole dish. Fill it with the spaghetti, the hamburger, a can of Campbell’s tomato soup and a can of dark kidney beans. Cover it. Cook it at about 400 degrees for any where from half an hour to an hour. Take the cover off towards the end if you like a crispy top. Ultimate comfort food. It needs a lot of salt and pepper.
I think leaving an ingredient or a step out is mean and a waste of food. If you don’t want to share just say so.
@MaterS . I had a friend who willingly shared recipes, but whenever I made them, they just weren’t the same. Then I found out from her that she used certain brands of ingredients and specific instructions, just didn’t bother to note that on her recipe card. I still have a few that I use, but I learned that it wasn’t worth it to get a recipe from her.
I willingly share HER peanut butter ball recipe, but with complete instructions (and they are very detailed, takes about 2.5 hours to make 120).
My favorite story along these lines was me eating a divine slice of chocolate bundt cake at Easter many years ago and asking SIL what was in the amazing center filling? She said, “Packet number two.” I almost choked, and we laughed about that all day long. All these years later and all she has to do is say “packet number two” and we lose it.
I am always flattered to be asked for recipes and will happily share but, as posted by others above, have shared with people who can’t follow written directions and later accuse me of forgetting something.
Also, I get a big kick out of revealing how simple or store-bought or mundane the ingredients in some fabulous dish as I feel clever when I can please my guests with little effort.
@mathmom Your chili recipe is exactly the same as my MIL’s recipe–she was from Ohio (near Youngstown). My kids call it Grandma’s Chili.
I share recipes and don’t have a problem doing so. I am a very good home cook, and my husband is even better. No secret recipes. I make really good soups and people love them. I tell them my “secret” is to use homemade stock (which is Easy to do).
I add a pat of butter to spaghetti sauce.
If i really want to kick it up a notch (and keep it vegetarian), i’ll make an alfredo – cream, butter, lots of Parm, and garlic/S&P to taste – and add that to the spaghetti sauce.
Or some milk, white wine and said pat of butter.
I roll my eyes when watching tv chefs say add “a little” butter, then they add enough to choke veins.
White wine is a great secret add- but so is a little ginger ale or flat-ish cola. A-yup.
I’ll have to try those last two.
I didn’t mean in Alfredo, btw. More like, some meat dish. Or some vegetarian. MIL had a great dish of shredded cabbage, meat balls on top, pour over it a can of ginger ale and a bottle of ketchup, steam a few hours. If you like cabbage, very tasty.
For any recipe with Cool Whip, try substituting real freshly whipped cream. I promise you it will be better. There, that’s my secret. 
“I roll my eyes when watching tv chefs say add “a little” butter, then they add enough to choke veins.”
If you’ve spent any time in and around professional kitchens/chefs, they use GOBS of butter and salt generously. That’s what makes restaurant food taste good.
I consider myself a better than average, from scratch cook and baker and I never hesitate to share recipes. That said, I do agree with some others that a recipe can really vary depending on who is cooking it and their technique and the ingredient brands/quality used. In baking, for example, using high quality butter and flour, good vanilla, cane sugar will kick your standard recipe up a notch, IMO.
There you go, @doschicos, leaving out a key ingredient out of your secret recipe again. For recipes where the Cool Whip provides some structure, you’d have to add some gelatin or something to the whipped cream to stiffen it up a bit.
For me, just give me a big bowl of very lightly sweetened freshly whipped cream with a few raspberries thrown on top. No Cool Whip based recipes around here.
I’ve only made a few recipes that call for Cool Whip - always subbing in real whipped cream and have never had stability/structure issues and don’t add gelatin. If you live in New England, try Oakhurst. It whips up very thick. Maybe it has extra butterfat in it.
@Bromfield2 that is too funny. I’ve never met anyone before who recognized the recipe.
I’m a fan of real whip cream. Whipped by me.
I edited a church cookbook years ago. We asked for family favorite recipes - we wanted everything to be tried and true, and also healthy/home made. I was amazed at the number of Cambell’s Soup recipes we still received - probably half of the original submissions used canned soup, veggies, seasoning packets, and yes, Cool Whip. A can of Campbell Soup and a pound of ground beef has undoubtedly fed millions of American families through the years. All swore that it was delicious and their family’s favorite meal. We ended up using a few. I’m looking through the book now: “20 Minute Supper,” “Coq au Broccoli,” and “Lemon Lush.” Apparently lots of people like to mix canned fruit cocktail with a box of instant vanilla pudding.
We also received some spectacular recipes, especially desserts – a delicious poppyseed cake with oil that I still make.
I just read this the other day and seems appropriate to this thread because so often “family” recipes are actually stuff that a mom or grandma found on some package of a store bought product designed to promote that item, as @gourmetmom (appropriate name to this thread! 
) indicates above:
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes-menus/best-back-of-the-box-baking-recipes-ranked-gallery
I think the classic Tollhouse Choc Chip cookie recipe is a perfect example of how results can really vary depending on who is baking and ingredients used. It’s the go to recipe for many but the results are all over the map.
@doschicos That was fun to look through! I forgot about a few of these, and just printed out the Swan’s Down recipe, which my mom used to make.