Secret Recordings (not political)

Recent news stories of ‘secret recordings’ have me wondering how I would handle it if I discovered I was being secretly recorded by somebody I trusted and/or loved.
It is such a gross violation of privacy and trust, I don’t know if I could ever recover or trust anybody, ever again.

I recall when my kids were younger (13-15), one of their friends posted a video on one of the social media sites, of her father having a parental meltdown because she (the friend) was spending too much time on her bleep phone, when instead, she should have been doing her homework. Of course, he had no clue he was being recorded, much less it was posted to social media for the world to see. His daughter thought he was hilarious, he much less so, to be embarrassed and shamed by his daughter.

It seems that so much of our lives are under surveillance today, that if I discovered a loved one violated my privacy by recording conversations or private moments, I don’t think I could ever forgive.

How would you handle it if you discovered you had been violated in this way?

I live in a “two-party consent” state. Things could go very badly for a person who chose to clandestinely record our conversation if their intent was to disseminate it.

I will confess to secretly recording my snoring spouse so he could hear for himself why I was having trouble sleeping. Especially since he insisted he didn’t snore. But I didn’t share on social media!

I live in a 2 party consent state as well so there would definitely be an attorney call and charges pressed if I was recorded without consent.

It’s probably been going on for quite some time, just not with the internet to share. My dad would record almost all phone calls even back to my youth. He always said he “wanted to protect himself.”

I don’t know that he ever used any of them. In my college Psych 101 class I was stunned when I learned about paranoia. They literally described him to a T. Later on when one of my sons took a psych class he called home saying, “we did the grandpa chapter today.”

But if I saw myself on the internet as the “star” of a show without my permission I’d be livid.

This topic came up on the radio today in a slightly different context. With so many children on video calls with their teachers, the teachers can see and hear some of what goes on in some homes. Teachers are mandatory reporters. So if on Zoom teaching a teachers sees or hears possible child abuse are they to report it to authorities? I would say yes. Parents know or should know the child is on camera with the teacher.

In our state teachers are mandated reporters–they are required by law to report any abuse or neglect they suspect or witness.

We have to here in PA too. I get in trouble if I don’t.

Gosh! I didn’t even think about being unwitting observed during other people’s Zoom sessions. Creepy! Also, those sessions can be recorded for later enjoyment!

I think that mandated reporters need to exercise caution before reporting what they see or hear; sometimes, things are not what they may seem ie the dad having a ‘parental moment’ in my original scenario.

The threshold for triggering mandated reporting is low - a suspicion. Mandated reporters are not expected to investigate. Failure to report can lead to serious consequences.

@agreatstory is correct. A mandated reporter can be charged if they saw something and didn’t report. They only report a suspicion, or if their client or student has alleged something. The investigation is up to other agencies. As far as I know, there is no penalty to the reporter if the allegation turns out to be unfounded.

We’ve rented a few VRBO and AirBnB homes lately. The last one clearly had a Ring doorbell so we know we were recorded coming and going, and hope there weren’t other cameras we missed. Creepy thoughts, there are some weird people out there.

Our training was very adamant that we are not to use our own judgment/reasoning/“explanations” and can get into trouble for doing so. We are to leave that to other folks. Our reasoning might be right - or it might be wrong. No real harm if we were right - minor inconveniences people can complain about on a message board somewhere. Potential for massive harm if we were wrong. Kids could be seriously harmed because no one paid attention or thought it could be happening.

If someone recorded me (not that they would, or risk being bored to death), and posted it on social media, it would make no difference to me. I’d probably never see it. I don’t have broadcast TV, so that wouldn’t affect me either. I’m not a racist person, so you’re never going to record me saying something racist unless you have the computer skills to make me say something else. Am I really important enough for someone to go through such lengths?

Secret recording are a reason I keep my computer camera covered, and why I keep my phone in my pocket / bag / drawer!

This is only partially on topic, but wasn’t there an incident in maybe Philadelphia, where they gave kids iPads or laptops or something, and then could see what the kids were doing?

I have a close friend who secretly recorded her husband, because he moved a surprising number of calls to the master bedroom extension (back pre-cell phone days). Unfortunately it was worse than she imagined and a real-life “conversation” was recorded in the bedroom. Fortunately back then you could donate mattresses to Goodwill so she didn’t have to burn it n the street. She’s now happily married to someone who appreciates her.

@1214mom it was in suburban Philadelphia (one of the Merions, either Upper or Lower Merion). Webcams were turned on remotely. Was justified by saying that it would allow them to view the thief should the laptop be stolen. Don’t recall ALL of the particulars.

Maybe those with better memories could chime in.