Seeking advice

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Ok. I don’t know what to do anymore, so I am seeking advice here, from you.</p>

<p>Situation: N is a student at Madison H.S. N is a smart kid, but he had made some bad choices in the past (like cutting A LOT). So when graduation date comes, N isn’t able to graduate because he still needs to make up for all of those classes he ****ed up b/c of cutting. So N goes to see his guidance counselor to get a schedule for summer school. The counselor opens up N’s file and tells N that in order to get an advanced diploma N must take art, global history, health, 2 gyms, math, English and chem. regents. </p>

<p>Problem #1: N took art his freshman year and passed with a high grade, but, for some reason, it is not in his file. </p>

<p>Problem #2: only 2 of those classes are being offered for the summer session. So N takes 1 gym (they refused to give him 2), and chem. prep class. He passes both classes and passes the regents. </p>

<p>He now needs art, English, math, global, health and gym. They give him these classes +2 more.</p>

<p>Problem#1: N cannot participate in his gym class for serious health issues. He brings a note to his teaches and asks her for another arrangement. For example, he would write papers about the sport, and pass the class with at least a 65. All teachers usually do that, but this one in particular doesn</p>

2

<p>Cont…
All teachers usually do that, but this one in particular doesn’t agree, and fails N.</p>

<p>Problem #2: N has taken global before and he knows the subject very well. So he has no trouble finishing up his tests in a shorter period of time that the rest of the class. The teacher decides that N is cheating, and fails N.</p>

<p>Problem #3: N did not need art in the first place because it was the school’s fault they lost the record of that credit. But they gave it to him anyway.</p>

<h1>4: I’m not sure what’s going on with math. N is pretty good in math. His mom is a math teacher so he has no problem with that. That’s why he had the same problem in math class, like he has in global class. He would finish his tests in 15 minutes, and the teacher kept saying that he is cheating. I’m not sure if she failed him too.</h1>

<p>Now, they gave him 5 (!!!) classes, instead of 2 (or 3) that he actually needs credits for, to get an advanced diploma. The principal doesn’t want to hear anything. The counselor keeps moving his appointment date. Not only that the school pretty much f@#$ed him over and keeps him in school for no reason, but now he is actually considering getting s GED because he is tired of getting f@#$ed over by them. HOW IS THAT EFFIN’ FAIR?</p>

<p>So here’s where you come in. What advice do you have for N? I keep telling him that he should go to the department of education, but he says they won’t believe him, because they tend to believe teachers more than the students. Is there any agency, where N can send a complaint letter to (like BBB with business issues)? Is there any chance that he will get his diploma now? I will appreciate any advice.</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

3

<p>Well, N has a very poor record to stand on…why should anyone believe him? he skipped school enough to have to take almost a whole year over again, he didn’t track his courses to see what he was missing, and has a bad reputation</p>

<p>THe ONE area he has a chance of getting fixed is the gym, if he has a letter from the doctor…that is perhaps the one class he should be able to deal with if his medical excuse is indeed valid</p>

<p>Where was his mom in all of this…if I were her, I would be furious at N…and if the school didn’t tell her about all the abscences, SHE has something to be mad at the school for</p>

<p>Seems like N has lots of excuses, and that is a big problem. </p>

<p>So some practicle things</p>

<p>Who taught N art as a freshman, are they denying he was in the class, did N ever get a report card with the grade on it…if he took the class there must be some proof somewhere, and if not why not…if N has any kind of report cards with the grade, that should be easy to fix</p>

<p>The cheating, well, mom can go in and ask under what basis did the teacher decide student cheated…a hunch isn’t good enough</p>

<p>What is amusing is Ns attitude at this point…is the school totally incompetent and all this came as a complete surprise to N and his whole family, or is N telling everyone the whole truth</p>

<p>N needs to adjust his attitude ALOT…sure its a mess, but much of it is his own fault, and this is what happens when you blow it off and then expect everyone else to jump through hoops for you…</p>

<p>So:</p>

<p>What proof does N have he took the class
Where is mom in all this mess
Did the school give him fair notice, like when he registered for classes this year that he had a serious problem
How did he get away ith skipping so much…were there no consequences</p>

<p>Sure, he can go complain about the Gym and the Cheating, the rest, well…</p>

4

<p>A few of these points really don’t add up so the story doesn’t make sense. </p>

<p>Regarding the missing Art class, if he really took it he should just produce his report card from that time reflecting it. If it made it to his report card it would have made it to his transcript. If it never appeared on the report card he should have chased it up then. Maybe he skipped it so much he never received credit for it.</p>

<p>Regarding cheating - it’s hard to believe that two different teachers would just declare ‘cheating’ because he got done with a test early. In most classes there are alsways some who get done much earlier than others. If it’s true that this really happened, I suggest that he and his parents insist upon an appointment with the principal (not the GC) and discuss the situation. Insist that he be allowed to prove himself by taking another test while supervised. If he’s an ace in these subjects it should be no problem.</p>

<p>Only complain to the district (assuming this is a public school) if the staff won’t reasonably respond or meet with the parents. Just complaining to them that the school isn’t ‘fair’ will likely fall on deaf ears - especially with his track record.</p>

<p>Another option if he just can’t get the classes he needs is to take the equivalent ones at a community college for HS credit.</p>

5

<p>The report card is [unsurprisingly] no where to be found
The art teacher doesn’t remember him
The gym teacher was presented with doctors note, but knowing the teacher I truly believe that he just hates N.
I am furious at his mother myself for not straightening N up when it wasn’t too late. He was not listening to her, so she gave up.
He didn’t get away with skipping. He failed those classes. He just didn’t skip enough to get expelled or to get his mother into trouble.</p>

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<p>If Mom can’t/won’t get involved, can you meet with principal and N. acting as his advocate? I would think to fail a student for cheating, there would need to be proof of some sort. Also the gym issue with a documented medical reason should be able to be handled in some fashion. I know at my kid’s school, sometimes they were just given very low activities to do depending on the medical problem–like walk laps, isometrics, etc. He is going to need to realize he has to “pay the piper” as my mother used to say and have the attitude with the school that he realizes the mistakes he made and is willing to jump through the hoops they set—but failing students with no proof and ignoring a medical excuse needs to be addressed and he most likely will need an adult to support him in these issues.</p>

7

<p>Yep, to what dad said…I do think the most cut and dry class to salvage is Gym, if the student has a valid medical reason, a compromise should be made, but with so many weird things going on, I can see why the teacher may have been skeptical</p>

<p>A valid physical excuse from a doctor should be fine, but me thinks there is something more to that as well</p>

<p>Seems N feels everyone is against him…and where in the WORLD are his parents, his mom is a teacher for heavens sake…if there is another issue there with mom not helping in this mess, that is something that bringing in a 3rd party might help, not to fight, but to negotiate and maybe come to some sort of plan</p>

<p>But N has dug himself a pretty deep hole</p>

8

<p>What is the motivation level of this kid now? Does he want to graduate from this high school? Does he want to continue his education? </p>

<p>My gut-level reaction is that he is done with this school and they are done with him. He could transfer to another school for the rest of this year or repeat senior year at a new school. Does this district have an alternative high school program? In our district, the class cutting and failing would get him bounced to the alternative h.s., which has much smaller class sizes and some unique programs. He should look into transferring if he can. If he’s motivated, he could also study for the GED, pass it, and be done with the h.s. he clearly despises. He can start taking community college classes and if he gets good grades there, he can transfer to a four-year college.</p>

9

<p>To clear this up a bit, He started cutting in his junior year. Before that he was a good student with decent grades.
His mom isn’t a teacher in the U.S. She was a math teacher in a different country.
His medical issue is a low platelet count as well as 3 stomach ulcers. He cannot participate in any active sports. As I said before, teachers usually ask the student with health issues to write a paper on a particular sport to help the student pass the class.
I wish I could play an advocate in this issue, but no one is going to listen to an 18 year old college student
.</p>

10

<p>He wants to get an advanced diploma and go to college. He has been accepted into CUNY Baruch College. They called him and asked him to bring any type of diploma he has, when he gets it.
But given the obstacles he has to go through to get the diploma, he is already considering going for a GED. I just don’t think it’s fair. He only needs 2-3 class credits, which he was supposed to get in the first place, last semester.</p>

11

<p>Won’t his mom go to the school with him to plead the medical and cheating points? Is there a Dad available that can do it?</p>

12

<p>No dad. His mother is always working. She is trying to get a few days off to go to the school and deal with that, and then, if necessary, to go the board of ed.</p>

13

<p>This is way important enough for the mother to take a couple hours off of work to take care of her son just as she would if she got the flu. Taking care of her son is the most important job she has and it means more than earning a couple of hours of wages. I know this sounds harsh but working isn’t a valid excuse. She needs to do this now. She needs to make sure she has a doctor’s report in hand when she goes there (not rely on her own word for it) and some ideas like retaking some of the tests to disprove the cheating charges. </p>

<p>Warning - it could be that when she goes there she’ll hear the other side of the story which may not quite match up to N’s story.</p>

14

<p>I graduated from that school 2 years ago and I believe N completely because I know those teachers, who are screwing him over.</p>

15

<p>So we have:</p>

<p>TWO teachers accusing him of cheating
Another who doesn’t believe his medical excuse
They won’t give him the classes he needs
No one can verify a class he claims he took
He can’t find any record he took the class
He skipped so much school he has to basically take a years worth of courses again</p>

<p>So have all these people conspired to mess with this kids life, is that what you are saying? </p>

<p>I am confused, how old is this student, has he already take his Senior year over again…</p>

<p>As well, was he aware he would not graduate…were any notices sent home, were there any meetings with teachers, gc before today…</p>

<p>Unless N stops thinking that everyone is messing his life up and he starts taking serious responsibility for what he did, I can’t see this getting easily fixed.</p>

<p>Imagine having a kid in class who skipped so much of the class he has to take it over again, and in class, NOW he can breeze through it all, it would raise MY eyebrows…what were his grades before Jr year</p>

<p>What city is this school in? And what is the difference between a regular and and “advanced” diploma</p>

<p>it is good he wants to go to college, but N needs to address the issues that led him to skip so much he failed a year of school…till that is done, he will continue to have issues</p>

16

<p>N has a couple of choices – bite the bullet and jump through the required hoops or go for the GED. If he wants to try to work with the high school, then he and his mom need to talk to someone at the school to find out exactly what the requirements are and get it in writing (including the details of getting credit for the gym class by writing X number of papers and so on), signed by by one of the school officials, so there will be no doubt as to whether or not he has met the requirements. But really, he has to decide whether it is worth it to him to work with the school and do whatever it takes or not-- that’s step #1. If it is not worth it to him to do that, then he needs to move on and put it behind him. Getting the GED may be the better option, in this case.</p>

<p>He can try to talk to the Board of Education, but I don’t think it will help – it is unlikely that they will have much sympathy, his case sounds a little weak.</p>

17

<p>Seems to me that since the SUNY school has said to turn in “whatever diploma” you have, that the GED would suffice. In the past I knew students who sat for their GED while still in HS, waiting for results before leaving permanently. </p>

<p>Take the GED and cut your losses.</p>

<p>I’m more interested to hear how “N” plans on handling college.</p>