More than anything else it depends on your kid. What’s stressful to one kid is meat and drink to another (or as one of mine said, ‘it’s only stressful if you aren’t having fun’!)
Many, many kids who go to a tippy-top school- especially if they were the superstars in their secondary schools- hit a point in the first year where they doubt themselves and/or think everybody else is doing brilliantly except them. If they have been able to sail through school work with all top marks, the work it takes to get an ok mark can bruise their confidence (all those kids who finish secondary school with 4.0UW are in for a rude surprise in college!). Many students discover that they have had an underlying LD all this time- not diagnosed b/c they were clever enough that they could work around it (Oxford tells incoming first years that 1/4-1/3 of them will be diagnosed with some sort of LD before they graduate).
I know a lot of Oxbridge students and to a person they say that once the work hit they did not feel that secondary school had really prepared them- but they also say that there is no way to really be prepared. Many of them felt like imposters in their first year, but by second year realized they really belonged there and by third year most of them felt that they could do anything!
Many kids thrive on the amped up pressure and competition. They don’t take it personally, they don’t see themselves as failures when they don’t do perfectly- and they love being around other kids who are as ambitious and driven as they are. I know students at HYPS who feel that for the first time they are in an academic setting that works for them.
The top schools that I know well all have significant supports available - from low level academic supports (writing centers, math centers, etc) right the way up. BUT (and it’s a significant but): the student has to reach out. No matter where your child chooses to go to college, these are conversations that it is useful to have:
=> be aware that college work is different- you may have to change your study habits / approach work in different ways. (though if they have been in an academically competitive high school, it may be a term or two before the work gets hard)
=> at the very first sign of trouble- not getting something in class, a disappointing mark- go to the appropriate study center and/or the professor even if you think you are the only one or feel embarassed. All professors have office hours- they are required to have them and to tell you when they are and the whole purpose for those hours is to talk to you.
=> The number of ways to fix problems is really high at the beginning, but goes down exponentially really fast. Don’t put it off.
=> 100% you are not the only one with [X] problem/concern/experience. 100%. Don’t isolate yourself out of that fear- that is pretty much guaranteed to make whatever it is worse.
and of course:
=> Never ever drink a punch (forgot to tell my innocent first born that one- ouch)
=> Yes means yes and no means no and you get to decide. This is not the time to worry about hurting somebody’s feelings or about whether somebody will still like you.
(side rant: IMO, one of the hardest things we do to our fledglings is tell them that they are now adult and they have to solo on their first try- to be fully responsible for themselves- and we legally bind our hands from being there to help pick them if they run into rough air. At 17 and 364 days they are a child and you are required and expected to sign off on medical and academic issues. At 17 and 365 days they magically morph into full grown adults and you can only be aware of the their medical and academic issues if they choose to involve you).