Sending good thoughts to students who were turned down or waitlisted

After reading some of the comments in a thread started by Postmodern, I wanted to open a thread to send good wishes to students who have been turned down or waitlisted by their top choice(s).

There is no question that this tends to hurt at first. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go to a “top” school. The odds are that some of the students in this situation are wondering what caused their outcomes, and it is impossible to know, which adds to the frustration. A lot of these students will have stretched themselves quite a lot, and worked on school-related work when they wanted to relax or spend more time with friends. Some fraction of the group will probably have spent time on ECs beyond their true interest level, because that appears to be a component of the “coin of the realm” for admissions. A lot of us understand the disappointment that results from those factors.

The fact that the “top” schools tend to announce decisions last compounds this, I think. Even though some very fine schools had already announced positive decisions, and most of the students will have a good place to go, it still is hurtful–in my opinion–when the admissions season closes out negatively.

So, to any of the students and parents who are out there reading this, I would like to say: I sympathize. It hurts. Many people understand that. After a while, the students will be able to pull themselves together emotionally, but that is hard work, especially at first. Anonymous people out here are rooting for you, and we encourage you to make the best of the situation you have.

I am confident that it will work out all right for the great majority of the students. Drawing on personal experience, I selected a large public research university over an Ivy and MIT, and I have to say that any limitations I face now are my own–not connected with the university I attended.

Quite a lot of the hard work that students put in, to be in the running for “top schools,” should pay off in knowledge and capability, as they enter college. These students may be in the same geographical location as students who did not work as hard, but they are not really “in the same place.”

I wish this could be pinned. So many kids need to see this. Post of the day!

I agree, @QuantMech . Thank you for posting this.

Awesome post @QuantMech

Thank you @QuantMech .

You are spot on, and I felt it even more this year as my last child had to press the refresh button at 5 pm on “ivy day.” This tradition should be swept into the dust heap as a pointless and cruel exercise for students and their families.

I would like to add that my son was accepted, so my comments are not sour grapes. His other schools came out in dribs and drabs over the previous few weeks, which was much more humane.

Thank you @QuantumMech! I am one of the “Anonymous people out here are rooting for you, and we encourage you to make the best of the situation you have”. Best wishes to the future class of 2021!!

GourmetMOM, is he following his brother?