<p>Different strokes for different folks. My S makes is very easy for me not to take umbrage against any perceived injustices on these types of awards because he doesn’t place much stock in them, and hasn’t since being a wee one. He’d be one of the ones saying, “Hey, so what? I’m excited about getting to attend XXX University!”</p>
<p>About the only time he appreciated me keeping a binder of his various awards and certificates was when he had to fill out the forms for college applications. It sure made it easier to have it all in one place. Now, the binders will go back on the shelf and collect dust, unless he becomes famous and the biographers want them. I somehow don’t envision him keeping binders going forward, and I’m not either. LOL!</p>
<p>“The children whose parents attended the school get special recognition as part of grad ceremony. They get their diplomas with the parents walking up with them. To me, this is totally ridiculous.” - I thought that sounded OK. I attended a high school many states away from here, but I would not have minded watching such at our graduation…ummm unless the logistics added a lot of extra time in that hot sun! </p>
<p>At our senior night the student-elected teacher speaker had gone to the high school. In fact, his inspirational Engilish teacher was the one being honored for retiring after spending her entire 31 year career at the same school. That was neat.</p>
<p>I’m only a junior, but I feel my experience applies, if only partially.</p>
<p>We just had the junior awards assembly, and about 10 people cleaned up. I mean, literally only 10 out of 380 kids won every single scholarship, book award, departmental award, etc. (It was kind of pointless to make everyone go, if no one was going to win, but thats just me)</p>
<p>Luckily, I was one of those kids (Social Studies, PSAT, MUN-selected to represent at THIMUN, boy’s state, etc).</p>
<p>However, I think its important to remember that (as many above have said) that you shouldn’t get validation from external, subjective factors such as awards, because you will never be happy. After winning a ton of awards, the thing I realized was that none of it mattered! (except for the U of Rochester Humanities Medal w/ scholarship)</p>
<p>I think that this is especially true for Senior Awards because everyone knows where they are going, they just need closure for their high school experience. But, the Senior Award show should not be expected to do that.</p>
<p>So, I hope, when I am a Senior, that I will be able to show the poise and maturity that some people above have shown and just accept the awards and move on. (hopefully to an ivy, but hey )</p>
<p>Since, by definition, the some outside person or group determines who gets the award, and the choose one among many… it’s not a an “injustice” when I want something for my kid and it goes to someone else instead. It’s just a difference of opinion.</p>
<p>I think the root of the parental angst is that, when an award ceremony, graduation etc. appears to our children as an indication that they have somehow come up short, our real concern as parents is not the high school event itself - rather it is the fear that this will become how they see themselves at this critical juncture of preparing to leave home and strike out on their own.</p>
<p>These events, like the college admission process, hold great potential for beating down the spirit of these young and often sensitive children just crossing the first threshold toward adulthood. Even if the winners of the awards are deserving and the school’s process is the fairest of all possible systems, we value our children and we don’t want them to feel less worthy than any of their peers.</p>
<p>IMO it is important that parents convey their pride in their children and emphasize that awards are given on certain criteria - whether the criteria used makes sense to you, your child or anyone other than the school administrator who dreamed it up. Your child did not live their life in the pursuit of a paper certificate (one would hope) and no one can measure, or truly analyze the value of anyone else’s experience in mastering a difficult subject. Therefore the winner of the “English Award” got a higher score on certain tests, essays etc. but that does not mean that this student has a greater or better appreciation for literature; they simply did better on a chosen set of criteria.</p>
<p>Similarly, when a student is not accepted by a college it is never truly a child that is being rejected - it is an application; a narrowly defined collection of statistics and essays is not a person. Obviously in both cases, choices must be made when class space is limited and awards must be determined - but whatever measure is used it is never a whole picture, only a sliver of experiences/statistics used to determine admission/awards whatever. Your children are much more complex than any potential criteria for selection - their job is to move forward with their lives to realize their full potential, there aren’t any awards for “lived life to the fullest” - it is its own reward.</p>
<p>Just got back…it was lovely until the middle of the third hour when all the academic and merit awards were completed and the coaches game up and they announced the name of every single kid that participated in a sport for all 4 years one at a time and gave them their letters. 70% of this year’s senior class participated in a sport all 4 years. My butt was sore and I kept wondering why they hadn’t done this part at the sports banquet. Up until that point it was a lovely evening. Lots of kids getting lots of awards.</p>
<p>It would be interesting to contrast our own awards/lack of awards experience with how we react to our kids’ experiences. If injustice was visited upon us in high school, are we more or less likely to care deeply when injustice is visited upon our children?</p>
<p>I think I get over it all pretty quickly because of my own HS experience. There were 823 of us in my senior class and there were probably 8 “stars” and 215 “the rest.” It was pretty ridiculous, but so many of us were left out of the adoration that it was no big deal. </p>
<p>Also, it’s interesting to think about perceived injustices in casting shows. I tried out for SO many things and was cast so seldomly. I tried out for four shows senior year and was cast in nothing…not even in the chorus of the musical. That one crushed me for several weeks (but playing in the pit orchestra was a blast.) What I realize when I think about it is that I wasn’t very talented at all. I was quiet and bookish. Poor directors, seeing me at every audition!</p>
<p>Our sports awards were tonight. Top awards went to a mix of deserving kids, some of whom were less well-known. </p>
<p>Interestingly, one of the most well-known/highly-decorated athletes in the class was not there, and will not be allowed to walk across the stage for graduation or attend the Project Graduation overnight party that 95% of the kids attend. Why? Because he got caught trying to sneak a flask of vodka into a senior class event last night. He’s a generally good kid and an only child, I can only imagine how his parents feel right now. What a way to end a storied high school career with many accomplishments. The principal will give him his diploma quietly tomorrow afternoon.</p>
<p>Moral of the story - if you’re going to do something stupid, don’t do it 2 days before graduation, when the administration has no other way to enforce disciplinary policies other than withholding graduation festivities.</p>
<p>I don’t much like the awards business. Some are valid, some are popularity contests. Example, there is an award for the student with exemplary academic and athletic abilities/school spirit. This year’s winner had a 2.2 gpa, so I don’t know why they pretend that academics has anything to do with selection of the finalists.</p>
<p>Also don’t like the special ribbons, pins and ropes for SOME of the honors at graduation. Example, there is no pin or ribbon for the aforementioned very selective award, while all of the honor societies do have some gee-gaw to wear. </p>
<p>And don’t get me started on wondering how they select NHS winners, some really deserving kids got passed over again, this year.</p>
<p>There are some really basic things that could be done to impart at least a semblance of integrity to the process. At our school award night this year, one very average student won four or five of the “local” scholarships. Go figure. Now, I don’t know all of the information and I’m obviously not on the selection committee for any of the awards but let’s assume that this child is a deserving recipient. Couldn’t somebody at least make sure that no child receives more than one or two of the “subjective criteria” awards?
The people sponsoring the scholarships choose the recipient. Are they aware that this kid is getting four others from other sponsors? Do they care? i would think that the high school as the overarching organization would care and would put in place some kind of final check of results. It would be simple to do and we could all avoid the squirming discomfort that comes from watching the same kid run back and forth to the platform while others go entirely unacknowledged (and I’m sure the winner’s parents were squirming the most). Minded, I am talking about the subjective awards. The ones that have hard objective criteria should simply go to the student who meets that criteria. That’s life.
The whole thing is a standing joke in our town. Everyone knows how bad it is and yet nothing is done because nobody wants to look like a “sour grapes” complainer.</p>
<p>And yes, we all know its only high school! Its not the end of the world. Its even a sad lesson in the politics of life. Understood. But I don’t think that this lesson needs to be taught in this way at this time. It does damage to the students. Both the ones that receive awards and the ones that don’t.</p>
<p>Yeah, I thought of taking on that cause last year after Son’s graduation, then thought that life is too short. Thespians and Spanish NHS have cords but the other clubs/ECs don’t. We saw the program for the ceremony of a neighboring HS and EVERY activity had cords - drill team, cheer, band…Whatever.</p>
<p>Another irritant: Our state has three different types of diplomas. There’s the bottom one that few kids get. There’s the middle one that almost everyone gets. Then there’s the highest one that takes quite a bit more work. The state gives medals for the top 2, but it’s the same medal. Seems like they’d put a different color ribbon on each.</p>
I keep reading this, or variations of it, on this thread, and I just don’t get it. In some cases, it really isn’t a “difference of opinion.” It’s people going back on their word, or lying to kids about the real criteria, or engaging in favoritism, etc. Sometimes the decision may be a mistake–as in some of the cases we’ve read about where an award had a character element, and the awarders obviously didn’t have the full picture of the winner’s character. Sometimes the decision is the result of a stupid rule. But sometimes it’s based on completely improper motives or even malice. I’d like to believe in a bright sunny world where everything bad that happens can be based on misunderstanding or a difference of opinion, but I don’t.</p>
<p>That is one of the biggest complaints from our hs in past years, but as someone who works in a hs I can tell you it’s NOT that simple. When it’s an outside organization giving an award, they can give it to whomever they please - their boss’s niece, etc. Many of them would like to avoid duplication as well, but our hs is lucky that there are over 100 scholarships given out by local groups, and the time and effort just to make that happen is already extraordinary. The guidance secretary ends up chasing down people to get what she needs to put the program together. Some of these groups do ask a standing committee of faculty and administrators from the hs choose the recipients, and since that committee is all in a room together they can and do avoid duplication. But as for the rest of them who pick the winners themselves, if we were to try to coordinate all those groups to avoid duplication they’d have to pick the winners MONTHS earlier for the school to be able to come back to them and say, “Dear Groups A, B and C - you have all picked Janie. We have other kids with nothing who are also deserving. Would you like to reconsider?” It just wouldn’t work.</p>
<p>This year our awards were pretty spread out, which I think is a testimony to the depth of talent in this class. And as I said, some groups let the hs pick the winners, and the hs does try to avoid too much duplication. But as for the rest of the outside groups, it would be nearly impossible to coordinate. (especially given the budget cuts, so that we barely have enough staff to run the building day-to-day, let alone to coordinate all this end of the year stuff). It’s like herding cats just to get it all done in time as it is!</p>
<p>Our HS has separate Drama, Choir, Band, & Sports awards nights or banquets. So at Senior awards night, it’s strictly academic awards, by department, plus outside local scholarships, which are a surprise, and the “summa cum laude” awards for 3.6 avg for 15 quarters. That still takes up almost 3 hours, even with the yearbook & newspaper advisor talkingveryfastlikethis to get in all the praise of our prize-winning publications. :)</p>
<p>At graduation, there are 2 colors honor cords, for honors & high honors, but EVERYONE gets a nice school logo medallion to wear to “dress up” their graduation gown. Don’t know when that was started but it’s been for as long as I can remember. I like it.</p>
<p>Many local scholarships have a “need” requirement, so a decent but average kid will win awards if their essay and app package are outstanding over other decent but also average kids. </p>
<p>The truly outstanding kids with no demonstrated need won’t even apply for these awards.</p>
<p>Yes and the irony of it all is that the schools love to preach “character” to our kids.</p>
<p>The different groups here have different ways of honoring students which leads to some students who are very involved in certain activities not being honored at all.</p>
<p>mommusic- D was told by someone in our guidance departmant not to even bother applying for many of the local scholarships because they were intended for/given to students who were really financially needy. Then (too late) the head GC scolded me because D didn’t apply for them.</p>
<p>My D’s ceremony was last night and here is my rant. There is no reason on God’s earth to have any event on a school night that lasts for FOUR HOURS in a school auditorium where fully one-third of the attendees are standing up.</p>
<p>That said, the program, itself was very nice and I thought well done with a few exceptions. The first part of the ceremony was the “subjective” awards. No one won more than one, the val and two sals (tie) were named and honored first. Then the IB kids were corded. There were some deeply touching moments and some funny ones. One of the kids who won a scholar/athlete/gentleman award is a large (large!) football player who is black. His award was given by a little, old Italian man who looked like a lawn gnome. Could barely see him over the podium. He was struggling and slow, but the recipient stood there with him arm around him (they didn’t know each other) and after the presntation, the old man covered the younger’s face in kisses and they just held each other. Nice. After all that, the chorus sang for a few minutes (beautifully) and the stage was changed for the academic presentations.</p>
<p>That’s when the fun started. I liked the concept a lot. They darkened the auditorium and set up slides with the chorus singing tastefully (and softly) on the side. Then each child’s picture was projected with his/her list of awards, so there was no up and down for anyone who received more than one honor. The list of awards was ridiculously long because they honored with the “school achievement award” every student who received a cumulative average of over 75% in any academic subject. There seemed to be an effort to keep the IB kids from getting a lot of awards by having, in some departments, awards for the kids with the “third, fourth, or fifth highest cumulative average in the class” and a lot that were for “high average and hard work” but very few for “best or highest.” There were no actual history awards given out, although they were listed in the program, and it seemed to be because the head of that department wasn’t present. There were none of the outside, quantifiable honors acknowledged (NMF, national hispanic, AP awards), and the one award that my D probably should have received (highest cumulative average in the class with highest AP score) wasn’t given out at all. She wasn’t upset. Afterward, I asked her if she was upset. She said “mom, I am just so grateful that I didn’t wet my pants that nothing else mattered.”</p>
<p>HAHA!
I just wanted to say that perhaps not all the criteria are known to the parents. At our HS , many "average " kids walk off with a lot of local scholarships because they are willing to write the 3 page essays and get the recs and do all this other legwork to be eligible for the scholarships. Many talented kids just pass on the process.</p>
LOL!</p>
)</p>