<p>I don’t think prom carries the symbolic weight today that it did during my adolescence (I finished HS in the mid-late 70’s). Kids go in groups of same sex, have alternative gay proms, etc. It seems to be less of a date/popularity scene and more just a group gathering of friends. My 10th grade son was recruited as a “date” to go with a girl who wanted a boy with her in the picture! S would never initiate a “date” so I am sure this will be his only time. This may be specific to our community but prom does not seem to be a thing just for popular kids anymore, just a gathering of kids.</p>
<p>My complaint is the expense. D is going to a private LAC rather than our well-regarded state U. Part of the agreement for her to go to the LAC to was to cut corners. She found a $50.00 dress. Her date is also frugal and they agreed to go to a cheaper restaurant with friends. Some of their group is pushing for an expensive dinner and there has been a bit of teasing about the dress (D looks great in it-she is tall, athletic and can wear anything).</p>
<p>Anyone else annoyed about the $$$ excess?</p>
<p>As to boys not going to the prom- H didn’t go. He later won a short story prize in college for “A Taste of the Prom”, a story about wandering around the trash of the prom after it was over. The HS was across the street from his house and he heard the sounds of the prom from his room. 40 years later he was one of the most popular at the HS reunion!</p>
<p>Hornet, I wonder when it stopped being acceptable to hold a prom in the decorated school gym, and started requiring hotel ballrooms, banquet facilities, or floating party palaces. Along with that came the limo, the expensive dinner out, and the $300 dress. It’s nuts, IMHO.</p>
<p>Are the kids going out to dinner BEFORE they go to the prom? Don’t they get dinner AT the prom?? And then they get food at Post-Prom! I don’t understand the pre-prom dinner ritual at all and would not be happy to have to pay for that.</p>
<p>both my kids went to single sex HS so girls asked guys to their school prom…the girls’ moms organized pre-prom buffets at a home to avoid the ackwardness of paying for dinner…</p>
<p>since the kids don’t eat that much anyway that night this seemed a great way to handle it…I made all the food the year I did pre-prom but it would be easy for you to call a few friends’ moms ask inquire if they wold like to help organize the party with a tray of …shrimp with sauce, meatballs with sauce, pork tenderloin on small rolls, black bean & corn salsa with chips, sushi from a take-out place (the very biggest seller at our functions), chicken strips with sauce</p>
<p>dessert could be afterwards or served at the party…</p>
<p>most of the time was spent taking pictures anyway</p>
<p>My son loved the proms. He went to the Junior/Senior prom both years, Ring Dance two years and the Senior Semi-Formal his senior year. When he had a girlfriend, he had a “date”; when he didn’t, he still went. Most kids in our highschool went in a group; even when they had dates, they went as part of a group. For his senior year Jr/Sr prom, his “ex” girlfriend was still part of the group who rented a limo and attended together. For one dance, he organized midnight bowling for the after-prom event (cute pics of kids in formal wear and bowling shoes!).</p>
<p>This year he came home from freshman year college, went up to the high school to visit, and promptly was invited to go to this year’s prom (with someone who felt she needed a date because all of her friends were paired-up; but I think that’s the exception). Now he’s lamenting that he didn’t purchase a tux the first time around. He did get a “frequent renter” discount cause the staff at the tux store recognized him!</p>
<p>FWIW, even when he had a date, for every dance he attended both he and his guest purchased their own tickets (dinner included) and split the cost of any transportation equally.</p>
<p>We purchased a tux for S2 this year at a second hand shop for $97 plus a second hand shirt for $9 and vest for $13. The cost of a rental would have been $135. He can wear his father’s studs, tie, and shoes for now. Older S is exactly the same size as his father so he has always just borrowed H’s full tux whenever needed, but I think buying is definitely worth it once they have stopped growing.</p>
<p>what happens at my school, with dates, is that none of the boys ask early enough, so the girls get worried and ask boys from other schools- because its socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy if he doesnt go to her school. then, by the time the boys muster it up to ask the girls, all the girls have dates from other schools. so, the boys all take underclassmen girls or girls from other schools. literally, i think only about four couples that went to prom this year were both seniors from my school, and thats because they’d been seriously dating for a while.</p>
<p>Oldtimeyfan – My S will have dinner at the prom. Pre-prom is just meeting up at some friend’s house for pictures and riding to the prom together in the limo. After the prom, the group will travel back to the friend’s house. I doubt they’ll eat out again after the prom.</p>
<p>Go! Defintely go! Think of all the wonderful conversations you’ll have later in life about what a pit high school was-culminating in the ‘never to be forgotton’ horror of the prom. Worth the bucks for all the material you can mine later-the horrible clothing and hairstyles, the aweful food, the dorky music. Fodder for your art! All my favorite people have GREAT stories about how depressing their prom was. And now that we all have kids facing ‘the night of nights,’ we can regale them with the horrors of our own prom experience-giving them the courage to face up to and possibly even enjoy the silliest event of your entire high school experience.</p>
<p>Wow. Some of you have food prepared for the prom? How nice. D.s High School just rents the hotel space and provides snacks. The dinner reservation at the expensive restaurant is a bit overboard. </p>
<p>M’s Mom-enjoyed your post. D has heard my prom stories and is looking forward to her own.</p>
<p>I am sad that my daughter is not going. We even had a dress picked out last year in anticipation of her going. </p>
<p>Her best friend is a very religious male who she’s had a crush on for years which he does not reciprocate. He likes to flirt with her and jerk her around (attempts to hold hands and calls her beautiful, pretends to propose to her). I am really at the point of detesting this boy because he tells my daughter things like “If you would accept Jesus, we could walk side by side in Heaven”, but then tells her that he sees her like a sister.</p>
<p>She is a beautiful girl, but the fact that these two stick together like glue is surely a deterrent to any interested male, and so she’s never had a boyfriend, first kiss, anything. They went to Homecoming together in Junior year, and it felt so much like a date that she cried for months. </p>
<p>So this friend is planning to go to the movies with a bunch of other people, so she will too. If he were going to the prom, she would. If she had a boyfriend, she’d go to the prom, but of course how will she ever get a boyfriend when she is always with “Mr. Perfect”.</p>
<p>I am so glad that my daughter is going away to college. Of course, Mr. Perfect is now realizing that his college plans of going to some expensive Bible college and being a missionary take more than prayer, and he is going to stay home until Spring (and I bet he still won’t be going to college then either). Now my daughter is contemplating coming home every weekend so as not to abandon Mr. Perfect. Not going to happen.</p>
<p>Neither my S or D went to prom as seniors. Actually, S never went to ANY of the dances at their large public high school He even had a girlfriend when he was a senior. Said it was a major waste of money, even though we said we’d cover it. He truly had NO interest.</p>
<p>D went as a junior with a friend and had a good time. As a senior, she and several friends who were all single, made an agreement to all go out together that night instead of prom. They also decided they did not want to attend prom in a group. However, one by one, several of the girls were asked and accepted. So, when it finally came, only she and one other were dateless and I think disappointed. They went to a concert that night instead.</p>
<p>To be honest, I probably felt worse than either of them. Talk about living vicariously…I truly enjoyed my proms and wanted to be one of the parents taking pictures and “enjoying” the event through them.</p>
<p>Oh well. Ironically, when D went far, far away to college, she ended up attending MANY formal greek events. I never got to see her dressed up or even pictures. Bummer. S, on the other hand, has never been to any event like this. Guess he doesn’t feel deprived.</p>
<p>I feel for you, WAPTHI! And your poor D. At least they are not anticipating attending the same college. Hopefully your D’s eyes will be opened by the new setting, new group of kids, etc. when she goes off to school.</p>
<p>My son went to prom alone and he told us had a blast. He said he even danced with some friends. </p>
<p>His sister on the other hand had formal dates for both junior and senior prom. Limo, beauty salon and gown - the whole works. I was very annoyed with the expense ! For senior prom, the boy even did a whole get up with the asking. He got a friend to call for him for her to come to the door. Came with flowers and breakfast in a basket just to ask. She said yes of course. He was just a friend, not boy friend. </p>