<p>Regarding the article, I would not trust an article like that without reading the original study and scrutinizing their sampling methods. This is because “popular news articles” (i.e. written by a non-scientist trying to understand and summarize a scientific study) are often incorrect or just slanted.</p>
<p>Example: A recent CNN article had a headline declaring the “More women are shacking up!”. Was this an article about lesbians? No, it was about heterosexual couples. So how exactly was it ONLY the women who were “shacking up”?</p>
<p>At any rate, who cares if “statistically” women have less orgasms . . . if you happen to be one of the women who has more? Oh ho ho hoooo!</p>
<p>I’ve never seen a study that indicated that young women enjoy one night stands physically as much as men do. If you can show me that study, I’d be happy to read it.</p>
<p>If the only point of hooking up is sexual pleasure? Then for the majority of the young women, I don’t think they are getting a good deal.</p>
<p>But, it’s up to them if that is their choice. They ought to be given the actual facts, though.</p>
<p>Here’s another one that’s not going to flame you and I have three sons. None of them were into sleeping around and would not have dated a girl who did. Two of them are happily married but even the single one believes in committed relationships When one girl he dated told him she wanted to date others he told her she was welcome to, but just not to date him. By the way, there is nothing religious about their outlook. Only one of mine is at all religious, but they all have moral standards they are not wiling to overlook for a “hookup”. I guess they also have self respect and desire it in others.</p>
<p>From what I have observed, young men are more romantic/ place more importance on domestic life than women of the same age. Overall.
I think the young men who frantically are trying to accumulate notches on their bed posts are frightened of that side of themselves, because it makes them very vulnerable.
So they hide it.
They haven’t learned yet that a real man isnt afraid to be honest with themselves/ others.</p>
<p>I can envision women who like the sensation of power & control they can wield by using their sexuality, but that gets old fast for most of us.
It perhaps feels empowering at the time, but it is easy to get stuck at that level of awareness.</p>
<p>Jackson Katz was a guest on our campus a few years ago. A number of faculty and admins attended some of his presentations. He’d been on campus, meeting with some student groups, including some athletic teams. Big surprise to me? The term on team in particular used with anticipation to describe the new freshmen women. Fresh Meat. Lovely. These are students in my classes who I often like very much/think are decent people. And they are. There’s just this crazy herd mentality that kicks in sometimes. But, sorry, I’m getting off topic.</p>
<p>The point is that I’m not so sure that hook-up culture is now or ever was (because I agree, it’s been around a while) freeing for anybody. There’s pressure placed on both parties to join in.</p>
<p>By the way, my youngest was dating a girl in early high school. Or as “dating” as you can at that age. After a couple of weeks I noticed they had stopped going out. I asked my middle son what had happened. He told me that she broke up with him because “he wouldn’t put out.” And I didn’t even have to say a word.</p>
<p>I’m not sure how different things are now from when I was in high school/college. There was plenty of hooking up back in the last millenium, although we didn’t call it that. Most of us grew up, got married and had kids. Now we are old and decrepit and can hardly remember those golden days when we were stardust. I think the same patterns still apply: a few couple up in high school, some in college, some at work, and some through dating services/friends/matchmakers. The biggest difference is the Internet, both for positive and for negative: match.com vs. horrific cell phone/facebook photos. Everything is more public now.
These college guys who don’t want relationships aren’t necessarily jerks. I don’t blame them for not wanting to settle down at 22. Same with the young women. When there is a disconnect (one wants a fling and the other wants a relationship) feelings get hurt. I would teach my kid not to take it all too seriously (but be safe- there are nasty diseases out there). People get hurt in love- unrequited love is the stuff of art through the ages. I think many women now, especially the highly educated, don’t need men to support them, so the dynamic has shifted. That’s actually a good thing.</p>
<p>Serial monogamy, with little side trips, is generally the way sex works in our culture. But children are becoming sexually mature at a much younger age these days (women at 15 at around 1900, and 12 in the year 2000), and marrying much later. So there has to be something to do between the ages of 12 and oh, say, 27, So the serial nature just speeds up a little bit in those years, and slows down later. It’s not different in kind; just in duration.</p>
<p>(maybe the old folks just missed getting their share…)</p>
<p>Depends on the campus culture and the social groups one happens to be in. While hookups were prevalent at my LAC when I attended in the mid-late '90s, that was all by affirmative choice of the individual participants. </p>
<p>Those who weren’t into it like yours truly weren’t pressured to join in one way or another. </p>
<p>Incidentally, such pressure would actually be a strong affront to the prevailing Oberlin campus culture of ensuring enthusiastic consent regarding sexuality and romantic relationships. </p>
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<p>Certainly not! I’ve seen how relationship issues can derail academic and highly intensive professional careers from observing older cousins, college classmates, and colleagues in the workplace. </p>
<p>And let’s not get into the emotional and financial costs of divorces. Hearing about the pitfalls and messes involved from too many older folks, childhood neighbors who became teen parents, and HS classmates who married far too early…makes me think “But for the grace of God go I”.</p>
<p>I suppose that depends on how one defines “hook up culture.” Certainly, one night stands are ultimately unsatisfying – isn’t the second time always better? – but the notion of becoming friends with members of the opposite sex first, including some “friends with benefits,” is not necessarily a bad thing for those young women who wish to experiment and are not yet interested in the turmoil and expectations of a romantic entanglement. </p>
<p>Maybe it’s an artifact of our historically Puritanical culture that monogamous “committed” romantic relationships are still seen as the thing to always strive for. Yet romance carries a lot of baggage, too – unrealistic expectations, jealousy, the stress of meeting parents and living up to their expectations, not being able to go out with one’s friends on a Saturday night because it’s “date night.” The list goes on. Let’s not overly romanticize romance!</p>
<p>What the hell does this mean? Why should hooking up lead to loss of self-respect for women? I’m not sure I understand the logic here, if any exists.</p>
<p>In fact, I don’t know what this entire thread is about. “Some girls think they like casual sex, but when they reach senior year of college and don’t have a boyfriend, they become depressed”? That may be the case for the people interviewed in the original article, but I have certainly not observed such a trend at my own college.</p>
<p>College students are free to have as much sex as they want, and to be as serious, or not, about their romantic relationships as they want. That goes for men and for women (and for all other genders). If you’re the kind of person who finds casual sex unfulfilling, start a relationship. If you like casual sex, keep having it. If you want to be in a relationship with more than one person, or in no relationship at all, more power to you. All of these choices are totally valid.</p>
<p>If anyone here believes it is impossible for women to enjoy frequent sex with no strings attached–and that even if a female thinks she does, she will eventually suffer emotionally from it–then that is frankly the most preposterous, backward thing I’ve read on the internet today.</p>
<p>i think we have MUCH bigger fish to fry than to worry ourselves about whether young women are having casual sex. as long as its consensual…WHO CARES!!!</p>
<p>yeah…religiosity, condemnation, hellfire and damnation, all of that madness. folk need to mind their OWN business. if you don’t ‘approve’ of so-called ‘hookup culture’, then don’t hook up (and make sure your husband/wife shares your views, lol).</p>
<p>*i see that ghostt said it already. YES, i agree!!</p>
<p>If you are only likely to derive the same level of pleasure as your “partner” one third of the time, then 1/3 of the time, you will feel taken advantage of. It’s simple relationship math. It’s not about God.</p>
<p>If women choose to engage in these low return, high risk encounters, that is their business. But, it’s not religious to say it leads to a lower self esteem.</p>
Oh ho ho hoooo!</p>