Sensitive topic-- unhealthy weight gain

[ucbalumnus]

@sushiritto

One word: Gravity. Extra weight puts additional stress on your body/joints, such as shoulders, knees, ankles, back, etc.

Because of this additional stress, extra weight, even from fat, may reduce the risk of osteoporosis, even though extra fat may increase other medical risks.

However, the medical risks may not be the real issue in terms of how difficult it is for many people (especially women) to talk about it in a non-anonymous situation. Rather than purely being a medical issue, weight / body fat may be seen as a proxy for appearance, social desirability, and social status, so people (especially women) may feel like they are always competing and are never “good enough” (note how 89% of women wanted to lose weight in the 1997 survey, when “only” 47% of adult women in 1997 were overweight or obese by BMI > 25). It may be analogous to how people try to competitively signal wealth by conspicuous consumption, or how high school students do all they can to try to gain admission to prestigious universities to signal intellectual strength.

@sushiritto

Thus, you can look skinny and still be unhealthy.

Yes, but that is not really so much subcutaneous versus abdominal fat as much as people who are within normal BMI range with low muscle / bone weight and therefore high body fat percentage, with associated medical risks. This is sometimes called “normal weight obesity” or “skinny fat”. It may be more likely to happen to those who lose weight by dieting without exercise, resulting in mostly muscle loss.

Similarly, someone who is “overweight” by the BMI > 25 standard who is highly muscular and therefore low body fat would not be at increased medical risks typically associated with high body fat. But that situation is relatively rare in the general population.

[sushiritto]

Because of this additional stress, extra weight, even from fat, may reduce the risk of osteoporosis, even though extra fat may increase other medical risks.

Not according to the NIH:

Excess body weight due to obesity has traditionally been considered to have a positive effect on bone; however, more recent findings suggest that bone quality is compromised.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4016236/

Personally, I’d rather eat/take more Vitamin D and calcium and exercise more and lose the weight.

[sushiritto]

Similarly, someone who is “overweight” by the BMI > 25 standard who is highly muscular and therefore low body fat would not be at increased medical risks typically associated with high body fat. But that situation is relatively rare in the general population.

I completely agree with this ^^^.

[InfoQuestMom]

Both my daughters have a very different body type from mine. I have always been skinny even when eating junk and not exercising. They, on the other hand, are very much the curvy kind. I have emphasized and modeled the importance of taking care of one’s physical and mental health by eating a balanced, healthy diet and moderate quantity of food, and keeping fit among other things. I have always spoken positively about their body type and told them that it doesn’t matter what you look like, but that we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to take good care of ourselves.

As others have said, the weight gain may be due to many factors. I would be kind and non judgemental, I would not discuss or focus on the weight gain itself necessarily but I would discuss those factors that directly impact weight as a measure of health with them, because I am their mom and I care, and because they would not resent that. You will have to judge how it would work with your child or what other approach would work better for yours.