@968Mom - A couple of things:
1 - Between UF, FSU, USF, UCF and New College, the public system in Florida can handle a wide variety of student types at very affordable rates. Be thankful the in-state system is so well managed. Parents in other states are jealous.
2 - Our situation is similar to yours. We saved enough for in-state schools for our kids, but found the in-state school to be a poor match. We told our kids early in the process kids that we would only be full pay for a grand total of five schools (HYPSM), and that if they wanted to attend an elite private, they should look for merit. This had some advantages. First, it got rid of a bunch of schools that did not offer merit (no “I didn’t get into Harvard so can I go to Brown or Amherst” arguments). Secondly, it focused the kids on a reasonable number of schools early in the process so they could visit and do the other things elite schools like to see. Hopefully that will help them maximize the merit when the time comes.
Good luck.