There’s been a lot of discussion on this forum about cases of a male college student being held responsible for a sexual assault when the defense is that it was, allegedly, simply a case of the woman regretting her decision to have sex with him, so I offer a script-flip: A Washington State University case where a female student was accused of sexual assault by a male student, and found responsible for it even though her defense was, at least in part, that the sexual assault claim was raised simply because he regretted having sex with her.
(I’ll admit that I hesitated before posting here, since the topic has led to, um, heated discussions in the past, but I figure it’s useful to have some evidence that this isn’t a purely one-way issue, even though it’s often presented as such. This sort of case may be rare, but it’s worth noting that it’s not purely hypothetical.)
The report indicates that both had alcohol. The report indicates that the victim consumed a bottle (“standard fifth”) of whiskey and some vodka, and witness reports were consistent with that. The accused also had alcohol, though she claimed that she drank more than witnesses said that she drank. (The witnesses were one female and two male students who were at the party.)
I have heard from one hetero case akin to this one. In sum, they were both drunk, accused each other of assault, and were both expelled. I’ve also talked about a case concerning a lesbian encounter. But accused women are quite rare. I’ve had a much larger number of cases and inquiries concerning male-on-male assault.
I have also seen a number of cases with facts like Rose’s (where it is undisputed that the female accuser was the sexual aggressor) where the male was expelled. This could easily have gone the other way.
Oh, I know these are extremely rare. I do have to wonder, though, given the ever-changing nature of the debate, whether they’re going to remain nearly as rare.
But typically the goose isn’t acting like the gander is. Sure, women occasionally are the offenders, just like women are occasionally terrorists. But testosterone is the culprit most of the time, and the gander just has more of it.
Rational people had to know this could/would happen. Maybe some sense of sanity will return to the college bubbles and every student will think twice before they hop in bed for alittle sex.
The issue is so difficult because of the environment. Lots of sex and lots of consumption of alcohol and drugs. Let’s be real, any accusation should be taken seriously whether, W accusing M, M accusing W, W accusing W or M accusing M. But accusations are bound to be made in this environment.
Also, let’s be real. If you are sexually assaulted it will be a tragic and dramatic life changing experience. But, likewise, if you are accused of sexually assaulting, and didn’t, it will be a tragic and dramatic life changing experience.
I know many of you will say the vast majority of "victiims " do not make false accusations. And that is true. But, as we know, some have.
I do not have answers. I have suggestions that are obvious.
Teach your kids to not allow themselves to be in positions where this can happen. (Although I have stories where this can backfire. Also have really smart kids that do not necessarily follow this!)
Always have a friend with you and tell them to not leave you and visa versa. ( But what happens when either of you actually meet someone you want to leave with. (Ask that person to be understanding?)
Stop drinking or indulging in any legal narcotics at a social function. Good idea but may make you look like a very serious person. Make sure you are a lot of fun otherwise
Drink a little, do not over indulge and be wary of what you drink.
In other words, in public, never let you guard down.
A dozen posts and no one is hooting and hollering about this woman being expelled without due process and with that unreasonable standard of proof? No one? Not one poster? Jeesh, that’s surprising.
My biggest issue with what I read was this from the buzzfeed article: "At one point, he left to ask his friends for a condom. "
So, he was so drunk that he was raped but he had the wherewithal to leave the room, get a condom, then return and have sex? No tell me that if a woman was in the same circumstance this wouldn’t be used as an indication of willingness to engage in the sexual act?
It’s the usual drunken he said/she said mess only she was actually expelled which is very, very, rare and seemingly that was done mainly because he was more drunk than she was - according to his friends.
Of course we don’t know all the facts but it’s hard to trust an institution to really know all the facts and act accordingly.
