Sexual harassment and application school history?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>I am unsure how to handle this. We have picked a few schools to apply to, but are still looking. We have 2 picked so far to apply to at this point but are still looking at others. In the process of filling out the first application, it asks for school history. I am afraid of what to say…here is what happened…</p>

<p>My daughter home schooled and used a variety of outside programs at different points including 1 course through EPGY. She also has many accomplishments (plays viola for city orchestra and fences, does volunteer work in eldercare and environmental causes). Then last year, we decided to send her back to the local middle school for 8th grade. She was so far ahead of the grade that she had to spend half days at the high school with me driving her back and forth. However, at the middle school, there was a boy who was stalking her. During class, he would tell kids, in front of the teacher, that she was having sex with him, she is a whore, and he would give graphic descriptions of them having sex and even would quote her rates. The teacher would not stop this from going on. My daughter is a very sweet, conservative person. If you knew her, you would know this would never happen. I tried to complain to administration but they would just say boys will be boys and such. He was following her around the school between classes and at lunch. He would “accidentally” bump in to her and brush against her all the time. At one point, he claimed her privates stunk because she had an infection from sleeping around so much. It was horrible and nasty and awful. We currently have a legal complaint working through the system, but this has been in the works for months and I suspect will go on for years. But academically, we felt the school was a joke anyway. We pulled her out and got her in to a small private Christian school for the remainder of the year. She had nightmares and went to counseling at a center for sex crimes victims. </p>

<p>She started at a public charter school this fall. Everyone there is nive. She is doing very well. But academically, she will have expired all their math and science courses by the end of 10th grade, which is next year. </p>

<p>SO, when I fill out the school history form, it says home school until 2009, public school until Dec 2009, private school Jan 2009-May 2010, charter school Aug 2010-present. I would assume that it will be asked why she kept transferring. Afterall, what school would want a person who cannot commit to any place for very long at all. </p>

<p>But I do not want to admit that she was a victim of this boy. I am afraid it will make her look worse, people often blame the victim. I am afraid it will give the school such a negative taste from hearing about it, that they may turn her away, not because they would purposefully turn away a sex crime victim, but rather because they just get a bad feeling when they think about her.</p>

<p>What should I do? How would you handle this? Thank you so much in advance for your help!</p>

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<p>Imkh-My d had a “strange” school history and i prepared a portfolio. She attended two gifted schools, homeschooled, college classes and then 1 year of traditional hs. I included her history and in a 1 page summary I explained my reasons for making these educational decisions. </p>

<p>With the above details, and this the “bullying issue” being somewhat addressed, I would speak privately with the AO and explain. I believe that the situation can be explained and worked out.</p>

<p>Good Luck :-)</p>

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<p>I would explain to the AO during the interview process. Committees often wonder about students who switch schools a lot. Better to be upfront and explain than to let them wonder.</p>

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<p>I wouldn’t think the details are necessary. It should be enough to say that the school turned out not to be a good fit academically, and that bullying by a fellow student made it completely untenable. If the AO needs more detail than that, I’d assume he or she would ask.</p>

<p>In other words, the specific nature of the bullying, the school’s poor response to it, and the ongoing legal situation seem (to me) like they might be more information than is necessary.</p>

<p>I also suspect that your daughter’s history of changing schools is not unique. Parents will often exhaust every resource possible before considering boarding school for their bright child - and that can often mean several unsuccessful attempts at finding a good fit at local schools.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p>dodgersmom echoed exactly what my thoughts were. Not all homeschoolers adjust to public school life and I bet they see that quick transition a lot. But I agree whole heartedly that you should not get into specifics. “Not a good fit” is sufficient. Further, they may not even question you on it, so be prepared to answer but don’t bring it up yourself. Best of luck to you and your daughter.</p>

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<p>Wow. You have my sympathies. I find it unbelievable how schools can turn a blind eye to something like this.</p>

<p>One thought:</p>

<p>We had a similar issue with our oldest and weren’t asked to go into details. Just the fact that she had been bullied in public school was enough. She scored high on the entrance exam so they knew she could do the work.</p>

<p>But honestly - three moves in a short time will raise a red flag for the Adcoms. Let’s face it - at BS - you will encounter some degree of “teen behavior”, promiscuity, and all the other teen “crazies” that come with the onset of puberty. BS is not a sterile environment. They just address it with more proactivity.</p>

<p>The PS move was understandable. But the other two moves may suggest that your child doesn’t adjust to being in the “general population” especially if it’s in a suburban environment, or that your daughter wasn’t thorough in investigating class options before enrolling at the charter. </p>

<p>This is best explained during a personal face-to-face interview. Stick to the bare facts. Add detail if asked. Because you don’t want to give the school the impression you are sending a traumatized child. Schools won’t reject her because she’s a victim. But they are also not equipped to deal with a child who is still suffering from the trauma and having nightmares. </p>

<p>Schools are looking for well-rounded students who can hit the ground running - academically AND emotionally. So emphasis should remain on her desire to rise to the BS challenge, not the need to escape the trauma and incompetence.</p>

<p>Good luck. If your daughter is ready and able, the right school will figure it out.</p>

<p>But if she’s still suffering from trauma and nightmares and/or needing counseling - she’s not ready for BS. It’s just too hard.</p>

<p>Online college based high school courses or a local private school with small class sizes might be a better option. Or a single sex boarding school where she can avoid a repeat of the harassment.</p>