<p>I don’t think this is the parents responsibility - don’t flame me for that statement - these kids are over 18 - well most of them - away from home and parental overview - on their own - and making their own decisions - hopefully they have been guided by their parents to make good choices - but it is ultimately the kids choices to to DO or NOT - and in many cases this is NOT new behavior - many a kid has been involved in alcohol/drugs/sex long before they leave for college and many parents have NO clue about it.</p>
<p>And those fines?!? some of them are pretty minimal - parents wouldn’t even know about them in many cases - so that is somewhat easy to ‘cover up’.</p>
<p>College kids will find a way to participate in whatever they want to participate in - with or without their parents assistance - there is always a way - if so inclined. So the responsibility actually falls flat on the kids once they leave home - but hope they have better sense than to do some of the craziness that we see all over the country from college kids. OOO and it is not limited to kids in college either…</p>
<p>As a father of boys I am very concerned about how my sons treat others, particularly women. This is a major issue with me. I accept that a certain amount of drinking and sex occurs in college (I was there once), but I will not accept mistreatment or lack of respect for others. Indeed, this has always been a major emphasis for my kids in middle and high school. They were (are) expected not only to not participate in teasing, or discounting others, but are expected to intervene to stop it if their friends start. (Though I have no way of knowing how consistent they are, I do get reports from others from time-to-time of other kids telling their parents that they did intervene.) Perhaps my proudest moment as a father recently occurred when at a Frat party a young woman drank too much and got sick in the middle of a dance floor. My S and a friend, cleaned it up for her, took her home, and made sure she got in and settled safely. I found out about this because of a very nice thank you note from her I happened to see. Further, she told her parents who bought my S dinner at a very nice restaurant they own. I was impressed by her and her parents as much as I was proud of my S. There are good kids out there and we should not lose sight of that.</p>
<p>IDAD - I totally agree - it is always nice ot hear about the good things that our kids do - even in not so good situations. Alot of what our kids are is taken from what they have been taught as youngsters - and we do hope they continue to respond positively as they move on in their lives. Tho sad to say - some don’t ‘get it’ .</p>
<p>I doubt many people now in college will be running for Senate in 10 years. The woman that sat on Gary Hart’s lap is now a conservative activist. The US is very forgiving so long as you admit it. A woman how talked about some exploits witht he Green Bay Packers is now a serious candidate for statewide office in Wisconsin. She made no excuses foy her younger days.</p>
<p>Companies will be in such need of people soon these little things will not be important.</p>
<p>I have to say I agree with Barrons. Besides why is it that the top execs of many of these button down companies have so many secrets that come out?
If you’re talented enough somebody won’t care and if you look around there’s always other choices.</p>
<p>I think these “hook-ups” are so sad for the girls in particular. I remember the girls in my dorms who had one night stands. They pretended that they were very cosmo and could handle it, but it in the end it always turned out that they were looking for love and getting completely used. I can’t help thinking that alot of the infertility that our generation experienced is due to too many partners…contracting PID and the HPV virus, chlamydia,etc.</p>
<p>This was, of course, the topic of Tom Wolfe’s book, I am “Charlotte Simmons.” His thesis was that the peer pressure was so great and the loneliness so pervasive, that even those from the most conservative upbringing could not hold out, and if they did so they were outcasts. I’m not necessarily in agreement with his point of view, nor do I think there is the general lack of kindness he describes, but to a certain extent we must understand that these somewhat closed environments can have cult like effects, and simply be supportive, understanding, and love our kids through it.</p>
<p>Now here’s a couple of points to consider during this comdemnation of the current generation in this post. </p>
<p>With our generation running a 50% divorce rate are we preaching about commitment to one person when at least half know nothing about it. Do as I say, not as I’ve done? </p>
<p>Would you rather have your child cling to one guy or gal from day one? What happens if that gal or guy is no good? Should they stay put and be miserable just cause they had sex? If yes, see above. </p>
<p>Is it better in your mind to have your child commit to a single relationship until something better comes along and wing walk? Is that better than hooking up? </p>
<p>Does anyone besides these kids understand the time commitment a serious relationship requires. If you’re actually trying to do well and go post grad do you have an extra couple of hours to sweet talk on the phone? </p>
<p>If the old way led to a 50% marriage rate, what studies are going to prove that what kids are doing now is going to be worse for successful marriages?
It’s a crapshoot.</p>
<p>I really can’t judge these dukie gals for their actions. Alot of people demean themselves for alot of things in this world. Sex really doesn’t bother me all that much compared to some other things. If this style delays them from getting married when that marriage possibly could end in a divorce in 5-10 years, is it really awful?</p>