Sexuality how good is it for College Apps

Hi all, I am currently in the process of writing my college essay. Really the only thing I even have in mind is that I am a homosexual closeted man. Understanding this is a common topic, I was hoping to focus on an event, realization, or just overall experiences I have had well growing up as a closeted gay man. I was thinking about touching on some of the possible ideas of internalized homophobia, growing up with two separate personalities, my relationship with my parents and how it slowly grew apart, maybe even toxic masculinity, and mainly how it has killed my personality and cause me to not be vulnerable in fear I would release my secret. I then hoped to write about how I grew to become more comfortable with the idea and began not to care. However every time I get to writing it just does not feel right. While I write I am being honest however it just feels as if it will not be good enough. Anyone have ideas or pointers or simply any ideas about this?

Think about what your essay will convey about you to the admission officer. You want your essay to show your personality, your strengths, and why you would be a great addition to the study body. It’s not a tell all or a confessional.

IMO, students can take make almost any topic effective but again, remember that you are trying to sell yourself.


Your sexuality is important to you, defines you, and that matters if you can show how you will add value to the school.

Not dissuading you but I would not write about your sexuality. If you go by the CC threads it’s very often written about and I’d encourage a more unique subject. That’s not to say you can’t make it work but I imagine AOs would sort yawn since they read so many related to the subject.

Now if you can show what you learned, how you’ve grown from the lessons you learned and how it will help you contribute…then maybe…but not really.

You are, we are all far more than our sexuality. That’s not to say it’s not important because I know it is. But on the flip side, give them something different and unique.


The college essay need not be a confessional. The purpose of the essay should be: 1) to convey something positive about the applicant that can’t be found elsewhere on the application and 2) to show why the applicant would be a positive addition to the campus. Does your essay meet these criteria?


Here is the problem with your idea: you are saying nothing positive about yourself. This essay should be about reasons why they want you on campus. Writing about how being closeted has killed your personality, stopped you from feeling anything, and so forth, well, none of that is endearing, or likable, or interesting, or conveying anything positive about you.

I promise I’m not trying to be harsh, but you want them to read the essay and think “I like this person and I can see him being successful at our college.” Thats what the goal is. I think you need to say all these things that are troubling you, but a therapist is a better outlet than an admissions officer.

Are you something more than a closeted gay man? Are you funny, creative, a good friend, an explorer, an athlete, a story teller, a gardener, an artist, or what? Who are you that shows a positive aspect of yourself? Give us some feedback, and we can help you. Write about what you like about yourself.

It seems to me that you’re not yet at a place where you love yourself as a gay person and so I don’t think it’s a good topic for your essay.


Good for you! seriously: you are trying to make something work, and it isn’t. Listen to yourself- it’s a hard thing to learn how to do well, but it will matter your whole life.

Pretty much every poster (and there are some of the best regular CCers above) is saying the same thing: step back, look at your application as a whole and think about what ties it all together. When you look at your ECs, your academic interests and choices, what your teachers see when they look at you as a student, what your GC sees when they look at you as a member of the community- what do you want to draw attention to? What parts aren’t easily seen? What are you proud of / surprised by / excited by / working towards etc.

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I think it’s worth thinking about the impact on society. Anyone who reads an essay like this should understand that homosexuality is normal.