Share Funny Stories of being an Overprotective Parent

Parent Cafe
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<p>So, today I woke up in upstate NY and heard the weather forecaster from New York City describe icy sidewalks, warning pedestrians to walk more slowly.</p>

<p>As I drove to work through our fluffy snow, I thought of my 23-year-old son in NYC, who moves through those city streets at lightning speed.</p>

<p>I phoned him up to share the weather report, and remind him that, even though he’s a working actor, I don’t want him to “break a leg” today.</p>

<p>He took it in, but then asked, “Mom, are you calling from a cellphone?”</p>

<p>“Yes…” I said.</p>

<p>“And, are you driving?”</p>

<p>OK, so he nailed me. “Yes…”</p>

<p>“Well, Mom, much as I appreciate you putting my safety before yours, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING TO ME while you drive?”</p>

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<p>Point well taken. He also did not point out that he is a grown person who knows how to walk on sidewalks, even icy ones. ;)</p>

<p>A friend of mine says her mother is always calling her to remind her to dress warmly, tells her which grocery she should shop at because something is on sale, etc. etc. And I find myself almost doing this, but I think I have managed to stop myself <em>almost</em> every time.</p>

<p>We need to not hover over our grown children.</p>

<p>(Doesn’t stop me from giving advice to the college-age ones, however. But they can ignore it and make their own mistakes if they want.)</p>

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<p>yesterday I dropped my D off to take the bus downtown, I was cold, but she went of in a little dress, my instincts were to call out the window and offer her the sweater she left in the car, but for once I held back, she wasn’t going to freeze to death, but the mom in me wanted to wrap that sweater arond her shoulders</p>

<p>Its a little thing…but yeah…</p>

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<p>Years ago, when D was maybe 6 or 7 (??), I took her out to dinner at a nice restaurant - well - reasonably nice, compared to how we typically ate. I didn’t have anywhere near enough money when she was younger but this was a celebratory event - I had received a promotion with a raise. </p>

<p>Backstory, from the time she was very small, she got a lot of information - entirely TOO much information - from me on the dangers of drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, etc. I hit on all three areas equally hard, and often. And she had never seen me drink alcohol, never had it in our house - I couldn’t afford to buy any even if I wanted to. </p>

<p>Anyway, at this dinner, I did something very rare - ordered a glass of wine. I was absolutely ecstatic about my raise, and practically walking on air, imagining finally being about to buy actual, real groceries, pay the rent on time, etc., and so I never connected my prior instructions to her with ordering this glass of wine. </p>

<p>Waiter brings the glass to the table, sets it down; I pick it up to take a sip. D is astonished, pieces together it’s alcohol, and in a VERY loud voice begins saying variations of “mommy!! don’t drink that!!! you’re going to get DRUNK!!! that’s BAD for you! getting DRUNK is BAD!! it’s going to make you SICK”… and so on, and she gets louder and louder, and all the other patrons turned around to stare at me and give me dirty looks as if I was the world’s worst loser of a mother. </p>

<p>I tried to quietly silence her, in a low, calm voice saying lame things like “it’s only one glass of wine; mommy isn’t going to get drunk” etc. but everything I tried to quietly say to her just made it worse - she emphatically argued back in the same loud voice to me the dangers of alcohol and why people shouldn’t get drunk. And people kept turning and staring at me like I was some sort of horrible person. </p>

<p>I was sooooooo embarassed. I cannot remember how it ended but I sort of remember leaving the wine untouched for the rest of the meal.</p>

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<p>This one’s about my mom.</p>

<p>Two years ago, during sophomore year at high school, I came home from school, feeling pretty tired, so I went to my bed to take a nap. My mom was working at home that day in her office, and she never heard me walk through the door. So, she became rather worried, walked through the house looking for me (this was before I had a car, so now she just sees if my car is in the driveway or not), couldn’t find me, and began calling ALL of my friends asking where I was. She was just about to call the police when I woke up and walked into the office, and she proceeded to scream at me. I was so confused and told her I was in my bed the whole time. </p>

<p>She then stopped screaming, hugged me, and told me to walk in whenever I get home and say hi.</p>

<p>We still laugh about that, especially because she must have walked past my room at least ten times.</p>

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<p>latetoschool–
What a great story! And what a great kid. I bet if anyone had tried anything improper with her she would have screamed, run away, and told an adult. Right after she kneed him in the privates.</p>

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<p>LOL but at the time it was absolutely mortifying. All those people dining at the various tables surrounding ours, they stopped eating, turned around to stare at me, the looks they gave me - I half expected Children’s Protective Services to show up. </p>

<p>I did back off some on the alcohol-cigarettes-drug pontifications thereafter, figured she got the message lol. </p>

<p>I also backed off the “proper attire and perfect personal presence” speeches too, because shortly thereafter I took her to some formal event, and she announced loudly in a packed room full of people I’d hoped to impress - or at minimum not mess up relations with - “mommy, your pantyhose are on inside out”.</p>

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<p>late–, did you next begin work on “tactfully whispering”? :D</p>

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<p>My overprotective parent story - actually it wasn’t us parents, it was my son! We were on vacation at a beachside condo with 2 pools - a large pool for adults and a small kiddie pool, about 18 inches deep. My son was 4 and wanted to go in the big pool, so he had on a life jacket. We happened to have some “water wings,” and when he saw someone else wearing them he wanted to wear his, too. Then I took his toddler sister into the baby pool, so of course he decided to join me there (yes, dad had been watching him in the big pool). So there’s my 4 year old son, in an 18 inch deep pool, wearing a life jacket AND water wings. People gave me some strange looks…</p>

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<p>My husband could definitely go overboard with protectiveness. When our kids were very small we visited a Florida beach. Since we lived in MA, the kids had never been exposed to that kind of hot sun. So, H proceeded to put sunblock all over them–including on their EYELIDS. You can imagine what happened when the hot sun melted that sunblock and it ran into their eyes.</p>

<p>To this day (they are now 15 and 17) both of them despise sunblock and usually refuse to put any on even when it really is necessary.</p>

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<p>does anyone reach out their hand in front of a child in the passenger seat while braking ever-so-slightly on the car?
My mom used to do this for/to me, long before there were seat belts in cars, as if somehow her hand could magically keep me from being in an accident.
I do this now, with my GROWN KIDS, when they sit in the front passenger seat, without even thinking. Their howls of laughter alert me to the fact that I’ve removed a hand from the steering wheel…to “protect them from harm”</p>

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<p>Well, okay, here’s my story. I gave my daughter $50 a couple of years ago when she was going to a dance with a boy I hadn’t met. The $50 was for a cab ride, <em>just in case.</em> So, later, she tells me, “Oh, I told (the boy) that my mom gave me $50 in case he got drunk and I needed to get a cab ride home.” I guess he told her she didn’t need to worry. They are still going together, BTW, and I don’t give her $50 when she goes out with him anymore . . .</p>

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<p>latetoschool, I hear you. I realized I’d maybe gone overboard (if such a thing is possible) on the anti-smoking campaign when four-year-old S started yelling at people smoking on the street “DON’T do that! It hurts the earth, and you can die like my grandmother!”</p>

<p>We then had to have the discussion about each individual’s right to make really bad decisions. That went over well at age four.</p>

<p>Pass the wine. :)</p>

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<p>mstee, did you get your $50 back? (Sweet story)</p>

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<p>Here’s an “I told you so” story. Son was running at a HS regional track meet across town one cool (cold) spring morning- he wouldn’t take his long warmup pants etc., despite mom’s insistence that it was cold and windy. I took his long windpants et al with me- saw him at the meet and he was happy to have me go back to the car and get them for him. Score two points for mom!</p>

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<p>HeliMomNYC that is simply hilarious. I cannot imagine lol. This thread is reminding me of soooo many situations like that. When D was younger, we were so poor, and I was obsessively focused on pulling us out of poverty, and in so doing leveraged every advantage I could think of no matter how far removed from the core problem, including proper attire, physical appearance, cleanliness, etc. We lived in a very challenging neighborhood because that’s all I could afford - anyway, we were in line in the drug store one day, and there were three very large, mean looking women in line in front of us, and two of the three had bright orange streaks in otherwise very black hair - sort of a halloween effect. </p>

<p>D says (same loud voice) “mommy, why does that lady have orange hair?”</p>

<p>I tried to quietly explain individual right of choice, and, the lady likes orange hair, and so it’s her right to have orange hair. </p>

<p>D says “but mommy, she looks RIDICULOUS and UGLY” and “orange hair looks STUPID”, which of course caused everyone to turn and look at us, and I seriously thought the three women were going to beat me up. They were to a person six inches taller than me and outweighed me by 50 pounds. I frantically eyed the placement of the store exits just in case we needed to make a run for it.</p>

<p>The women didn’t beat me up, and we made it out of the store, but, in the years since I have never been able to completely convince D of the value of diplomacy and tact, although thankfully the voice volume has become more cultured and refined. Pretty much, if it’s on D’s mind, it’s out of her mouth. Any attempt I have every made along the lines of being reserved with one’s opinions and thoughts has been countered with “but mommy, you taught me that honesty is priority” etc. </p>

<p>I think it’s been awesome for her to have four years working closely under a D-1 coach whose politics, policies, etc. she strongly disagrees with and whom she does not like as a person, but respects as a sports professional. The experience has taught her a LOT about proper expression, dispute resolution, negotiating differences, diplomacy and tact, etc.</p>

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<p>hi! i’m a producer at a morning show- we are doing a segment on overprotective/helicopter parenting this Friday 12/7/07. we are looking for someone who is or knows an overprotective parent and wants to defend her/himself… or someone who does not accept helicoptering as a good parenting method. please email me at <a href="mailto:morning_show@hotmail.com">morning_show@hotmail.com</a> asap if you or anyone you know might be interested. Thanks!</p>

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<p>I’m not sure this would fall in the category of overprotective or not. But I told D2 yesterday that she is going to write her college essays before she gets to high school. :)</p>

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<p>I’ve always been so out of hand with sunblock (and everything else!) that when ZG got to college, she’d call me on her cell and tell me “I’m in the sun with no sunblock and I’m two states away so you can’t stop me!” Laughing, of course. I always try to hold ZS’s hand when we cross the street and are in the parking lot. Of course that doesn’t fly since she’s a high school sophomore and taller than I. Now with ZB, he is nine, and I was the penultimate helicopter parent. When out and about I always walked right directly behind him. Actually, I still do. They can all recite to me the “Rules of Trip.” Which are: stay with your group and DON’T WANDER. Mom is going to Atlantic City tomorrow with her senior citizens group. I told her the same thing. She hung up on me.</p>

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<p>hahaha! Love these stories! Combining a couple of these…my MIL now lives 6 miles from us, in an assisted living home. Either H or I take her to her drs. appointments. I find myself being overprotective of her…people really can be stupid and inconsiderate when it comes to people in wheelchairs. However, we have the same problem with her as latetoschool’s toddler…she’s ALWAYS been one to say exactly what’s on her mind…she’s just a lot less tactful about it now…we were heading to the admin person to set up another doctor’s appointment when she blurts out about the woman, “She looks like a WATER BUFFALO!” Now, granted, the lady had a funky hairdo that did, in fact, remind one of water buffalo horns sticking out of her head, but… Another time, it was ,“It looks like SHE needs to stop eating dessert” as someone (on the chunky side) walks by. Those are the times when we just want to say, “Don’t mind her, she’s crazy.” She’s not, but sometimes she does come up with some doozies!!!</p>