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<p>This column was written by one of my former mentees. Please share this with those whom you love so this story doesn’t become their story.</p>

<p>"The obituary is taped to my desk, right underneath a stack of old notebooks and just to the left of some envelopes and my checkbook.</p>

<p>The obit is worn, yellow, and has a slight tear in it. I’ve placed Scotch tape over it so the first paragraph is still readable.</p>

<p>“A bright light passed on to heavenly realms when Daniel ‘Danny’ Arambula left this world to rejoin our Lord …”</p>

<p>This time of year, I read the obit over and over, remembering a dear friend and the worst night of my life…</p>

<p>I’ve come to the conclusion in the five years since Danny’s death that “if” is the cruelest word in the English language.</p>

<p>If only we’d skipped the bar after bowling. If only we could have convinced Danny to give us his car keys.</p>

<p>If only I’d been able to tell him to slow down when I, without his knowing, followed him to make sure he got home safely. </p>

<p>On any given night, any one of us could have made the same decision Danny did. That night, we were just fortunate to be better off than he was. When I followed Danny home from the bar after he’d been drinking, I just knew he was going to make it home. We all thought so – which is why we gave in and reluctantly let him leave…"
[Jemele</a> Hill remembers her good friend Danny, who died tragically five years ago - ESPN](<a href=“Jemele Hill remembers her good friend Danny, who died tragically five years ago - ESPN”>Jemele Hill remembers her good friend Danny, who died tragically five years ago - ESPN)</p>

<p>Thanks so much, NSM. In life it is the “if onlys” that haunt us.</p>

<p>Condolences and my respect to Jemele Hill for publicly sharing her pain. I do hope others are learning from her pain. We must not be afraid to step forward and do what is necessary to keep others safe. We never think the worst thing will happen, but sometimes it does, and the pain is deep and the pain never goes away. And the sadness returns and hurts all over again.</p>