<p>@dramamama0804. I feel for you. At least she is figuring out now instead of in a year or two. Good luck and hang in there. </p>
<p>I am leaning toward the margaritas.
We were on the way to the airport to visit college number #2 when she tells me this.
We turned around and went home. Lost $300 in airfare. She was just too confused and upset to consider going to visit and answer a lot of questions about whether or not she likes the school when she wants to change majors.</p>
<p>Margaritas for sure then, dramamom0804! </p>
<p>Wow, stunned and speechless is about right! That’s what so scary about the whole process. They are 18 and their minds change. I have to say that I would probably be thrilled with that news, but my D has a lot of nice BA options, where it would be easy enough to switch. Its late in the game to try to put in new applications, but there are some schools that are still accepting applications. Good luck!</p>
<p>Sorry, how awful. What a lot of stress right at the end when you should be celebrating. Though I do agree that it’s better to know now before you’ve spent a year’s salary on something she doesn’t want. </p>
<p>dramamom0804 - could she pursue a different major at Muhlenberg that would meet her needs?
What a curve ball! And I agree, better to know now.</p>
<p>She was SO certain she didn’t want the BA… we only applied to one.
Also pulled the NYU app after she was accepted to U ARTS because she liked U arts better.
(NYU of course has an amazing writing program.)
I have just become the poster mom for “Leave All Options Open” until the final day.</p>
<p>Oh Wow. It makes my head hurt to even think about. I’d be down for the margarita. </p>
<p>Maybe we should all have a margarita and a little moment of silence (pray if you like) for dramamom0804. Know that we are with you in spirit!</p>
<p>My head is killing me!
And yes she could major in English at Muhlenberg and we contacted U Arts to see if she can switch to creative writing or re-apply this spring for that.
She is a very talented writer. In 10th grade she won a national scientific essay competition with over 1,000 entries…</p>
<p>Sigh. I don’t really want to think about college ever again to be honest. Pizza and a froofy drink are sounding good for dinner…</p>
<p>I’m sure this isn’t the type of “drama” you intended when you chose your name @dramamom0804!! My daughter, too, has started back-pedaling from her preference of a BFA over a BA. She was absolutely sure wanted to end up at Tisch, but now that she’s gotten in, she’s waffling about whether or not a BFA is right for her. Her theater teacher has told her that she thinks my daughter might be happier getting a BA and then going for an MFA afterwards. On one hand, I like that approach because it keeps my daughter’s options open. On the other hand, I’m wondering if the theater teacher is going to foot the bill for the MFA she is recommending! I can barely think about financing college, much less graduate school, right now.</p>
<p>@dramamom0804. I feel for you. And go you for being an empathetic mom and listening to her and letting that $300 go. My D is a theater major at Muhlenberg but she is also a creative writing minor and loves her writing classes; she really has rediscovered her passion for writing there. If your D has any specific questions I can forward them to her. Muhlenberg has been a good fit for her both in theater and her other interests. But yes, if she hadn’t been so sure she wanted a BFA she would have pursued other BA options so I do empathize. </p>
<p>Oh dear dramamom…my daughter did a similar thing to me after going to her audition for Emerson. That was our last one for Unifieds and the way the auditor described the difference between their BFA and BA programs she came out saying, I think I prefer the BA…internally I screamed!!! I thought, I just spent thousands of dollars and many grey hairs organizing this crazy audition season and now you are changing your mind!!! But I smiled and said, sure let’s see how this all plays out and then you can decide. I am so sorry your daughter is struggling. Not fun to see her upset…</p>
<p>@dramamom0804 - after having gone through this crazy, frustrating, gut-wrenching and exciting (maybe sometimes), my heart feels for you! I would mentally strangle my D if she changed her mind at this point and then smile and say exactly what bisouu said to her D. But as previous posters have mentioned, we have to remember these kids are 17-18 years old. My D sometimes has a hard time picking out what outfit to wear in the morning. LOL. And I’m asking her to make a HUGE life-changing choice that she knows is going to cost me dearly regardless of where she goes (especially as a single mom). I know how stressed out she is and that she doesn’t want to disappoint me. I can’t imagine what your D is going through. </p>
<p>@dramamom0804, I’ve been reading all these entries today and my heart breaks for you guys! I am praying for clarity and direction for your daughter and calm and patience (and that margarita) for you. My D is emotionally all over the place right now as well, although not necessarily about majors…one minute excited and ready to go and sure of her plans, the next moment terrified about leaving home, all new friends, questioning every single decision, etc. etc. This is emotionally exhausting and overwhelming for all of them (and for us!) As others have said, they really are still very young and this is big stuff. </p>
<p>The good news is that it is only April 2. Although we are all dying for this decision to be OVER, you do have almost a month before a final decision has to be made, so you hopefully can figure out your options with the 3 schools and explore whether there might be other options outside of those three. It sounds like you are handling this beautifully…go drama mamas!</p>
<p>Wishing you all the best and a really good night’s sleep tonight. I recommend a couple of Benadryl :-)</p>
<p>Thanks all!
It is a lot to take in. My husband is actually relieved over all, as he thinks she will end up with a steadier career path after this. But I think I will be reeling for a while, and can’t help thinking we are back at square one with the college decision process. </p>
<p>@dramamom0804, first drink your margarita. 
I just made myself one and shared a drink with my 23 year old daughter, who is home for spring break of her senior year at Williams. It made me feel <em>a lot</em> better as I try to navigate the UK system and worry and stress about money.</p>
<p>Ok. Deep breath. This is a good thing in the long run although a shock to your system now. But it’s really great that your D a) realized she didn’t want to pursue this NOW, <em>before</em> she started the program and b) felt safe and close enough to you that she could say it. And it is a testament to your Mom Superpowers that you turned around and didn’t even board the plane. Good for you.</p>
<p>Now, this same D I had margaritas with spent many years of high school in pre-college art programs, applied to BFA art programs, <em>and</em> even got accepted to top conservatories…BUT sometime in the process, she started to doubt this was where she wanted to go, and I think the nail on the coffin was admitted students day at what she thought was her dream conservatory. The presenter proudly told the students to look around at the 'top artists in the country!" and this turned my daughter off immediately. She muttered, “We’re 18 and he’s telling us we’re the top in the country?” The man went on boasting about how the students 'lived and breathed art 24/7," and showed us photos of their dorms and explained that they ‘never talked about politics or literature, just art.’ That was the final straw. As we drove home, she told me she didn’t think a BFA was for her. </p>
<p>She did a gap year and it was a wonderful, formative year for her. She explored her writing, something she is also passionate about, finished a novel, went on an archaeological dig in England (which she paid for herself)–and then before you knew it, she was ready to apply to colleges again. This time she knew what she wanted more, and applied to mostly liberal arts schools for a more well-rounded education.</p>
<p>I think it is great your daughter has the clarity and maturity to know what she’s feeling, to express it to you, and to take action. She can go to Muhlenberg as a liberal arts major or she can reassess her options. Whatever she does, she is being true to herself.</p>
<p>@dramamom0804 - wow, what a shocker! And even after everything, all we want is for our kids to find their right path. Sometimes it’s a meandering one…but ugh. What a lot to go through to get to this point. Thinking about you guys. </p>
<p>@dramamom0804 - I very much admire your D’s honesty and courage to tell you, after enduring the application-audition process required by various acting programs, that she has been rethinking her goals and believes that she would prefer to focus on writing. Connections has pointed to how a gap year proved to be an enlightening period for her D - and it also sounds like your D could pursue writing courses at Muhlenberg (and possibly acting classes as well) if she decides to give Muhlenberg a try. She definitely sounds like she has strong writing skills if she won a scientific essay contest in 10th grade and so it is understandable if she has been considering whether to take another path. Please keep us posted on what she ultimately decides to do. </p>
<p>We’re headed to Rutgers Mason Gross admitted students open house Saturday. Wish the FA was a bit better (sigh) because we’re getting very excited about this school! (Any one know if there is a Rutgers BFA Acting student Facebook group?) </p>