<p>We had someone egg my d’s car and put a shaving cream message on the driveway. The eggs did damage my d’s car, as did the egg shells.</p>
<p>We washed the shaving cream off the driveway, and I was suprised to find out that it left stain on the concrete. I think that it was there for at least a year.</p>
<p>I think that a BMW would have a top coat on the paint. If anything was damaged it would be that. You may want to call a reputable body shop and ask them if they have ever encounted this issue. </p>
<p>emeraldkity -
yup…sure wish she had taken a picture. She was legally parked, but pulled her little Ford all the way to the end of a long parking space leaving room for the other driver to park next to her at an angle and block her exit. But after the fact, it’s a ‘he said - she said’. Lessons learned on that one…don’t pull your car in so far … and take pictures.</p>
<p>Btw…she never denied scratching the car and the thanks she got for her honesty was the attempted scam job. The kid even had his father and a crooked auto repair shop in on it. Sometimes our kids get such mixed messages, it’s nuts.</p>
<p>We washed the shaving cream off the driveway, and I was suprised to find out that it left stain on the concrete. I think that it was there for at least a year.</p>
<p>I wonder if that was actually a stain, or just that the shaving cream ( which is basically soap), washed the surface.</p>
<p>I have been working in my yard quite a bit and noticed that water running down the sidewalk washed off so much dirt that it looked like it had been bleached.</p>
<p>good idea about the body shop meredesfilles, getting clear information may help him cool down- and I agree that there must be something else going on, if this is a good friend.</p>
<p>Although the boy is mad at your D right now (understandable from his POV until he cools down and realizes your D meant no harm - she just made a not very swift move), realistically his next step needs to be how to get his car fixed. He can just try a wash/wax on his own, have a pro do it, or take it to a body shop and deal with his and your insurance companies. If he does the latter, there’ll be an insurance adjuster inspecting the damage and it’ll have to be real damage that can be justified. </p>
<p>Your D already reached out to him - it’s now up to him to work with her, get past this, or just hold a grudge and work on getting his car fixed. I don’t see what else your D can do now. If the boy wants to just stew about it and not take action that’s his problem.</p>
<p>I echo what the others have said - a HS boy who owns his own BMW SUV? This seems a little over the top unless he happened to start his own company and made a pile of dough. There are so HSs though where this wouldn’t be unusual.</p>
<p>I was once the victim of some person who decided to write “wash me” on the deck lid of my black 280Z. That ‘wash me’ was now permanently etched into the paint and I had to end up getting the car repainted. I don’t know who the vandal was (or prankster- but I think of them as a vandal) but I can tell you I wasn’t happy at all about it.</p>
<p>There’s a smaller version of the BMW SUV - the X3 - still a luxury car and well out of the reach of most HS kids, but not at the level price wise of the X5 - it’s in the 30s, I think.</p>
<p>I feel for you tanyanubin. There’s no good excuse for writing on the car, but I’m sure shaving cream SEEMED harmless enough to your D, and her “friend” seems to be over-reacting. I’d ask to see the damage myself before paying for expert repainting-repairs. Hard to believe 2 hours of shaving cream in the shade could destroy the paint on a high-quality car like a BMW.</p>
<p>Not to be snarky, but are you sure your D is telling you the whole story?</p>
<p>Kudo’s to the OP and her daughter - accepting responsibility for a “stupid” stunt and trying to “make it right”. </p>
<p>I really don’t understand the rest of the posters here - attacking the boy for being angry? Accusing him of "over-reacting? Attacking the boy because he owns an expensive car? Attacking him because his parent bought him an expensive car? </p>
<p>Try to understand his feelings - while the girl may not have intended permanent harm - by her actions, she may have permanently marred his car - a very expensive car - and, probably, his first new one. It was his (or his parents’) personal property - no one had the right to deface it. </p>
<p>Not to be overly dramatic - but depending on the color, metallic finish, etc. - even with repainting - it may never be quite the same! In fact, if the car requires painting, he is probably also entitled to “diminished value” in addition to the expense of repair.</p>
<p>High price to pay for a few minutes of “being cute” with friends!</p>
<p>I’ve been in the middle of a car-vandalizing episode that started out as a prank but ended with a couple of thousand dollars worth of damage. All I can say is that, like my son, your D was an idiot. I recommend that she write a formal apology to him-- and another to his parents–as they probably paid for the car and they will organize the repair.</p>
<p>I would also recommend that your husband call the boy’s father and apologize and square up. We did that and that also helped to dispel the anger.</p>
<p>My son apologized by letter and phone call–to the parents and the kid–and it saved him a world of grief with the parents–who were incredibly angry. It was a similar situation–fancy new SUV that the parent’s bought for the child. Other students who were involved did not fall over themselves apologizing (mind you, our son did it at our <em>ahem</em> behest). The parents of the damaged car never ever forgave those kids. the car never really came right for one thing but for another thing–they believed the other students targeted their child’s car as a form of bullying. You know–they weren’t far wrong.</p>
<p>My idiot was simply annoyed with the kid–and let himself be talked into a level of revenge that he wouldn’t have thought of on his own. Then, with friedns leading the charge, he did something to the interior of the car because he thought it wouldn’t damage the car quite as badly. Wouldn’t you know that we had lectured him about throwing eggs or shaving cream at cars. </p>
<p>You cannot win sometimes. Thank God he’s past all of that nonsense!</p>
<p>High price to pay for a few minutes of “being cute” with friends!</p>
<p>Granted there could be more to this story- but what is ultimately more important- the friendship or the car finish?
We don’t even know for sure if any damage was actually done do we?</p>
<p>Yes cheers, she was indeed an idiot. But, as many posters have said, the fact that this kid has an expensive car does not make him wrong or an acceptable target. The damage would have been done to any kind of car. The latest is this: my D has repeatedly texted and called this kid. He finally texted back, saying that his father has said not to worry about it. I hope that is the case, but I’d like the boy to bring the car over so we can see the damage. If there is damage, I’d still want to make it right, because the fact that the boy’s family is very well-off doesnt excuse our responsibility for this.</p>
<p>Wouldn’t it be better to ask if you can come over and assess the damage so you can offer to cover repairs? At the same time, your D can apologize again in person, to both the boy and his father.</p>
<p>Have your daughter write a formal apology – hand-written on really nice paper, no texting, no email, no cutesy-poo faces/stickers/drawings – offering to make the damage good, of course, but mostly just groveling. She should state that she’s learned a valuable lesson and hopes that they can forgive her for her folly. (Asking for forgiveness is the best way to receive it!) Deliver it with flowers or cookies or something tangible, not as a bribe, but as a heartfelt expression of a contrite soul. When they say ‘of course, sweetie, no harm done…’ as they should if the apology is real, then drop it all together. One day, you really will laugh about it. </p>
<p>You should probably read the apology…if there’s an ‘if’ in it as in 'I’m sorry if your car was damaged" or “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings” then it’s not an apology and should be done over. A true apology acknowledges the harm with a ‘that’…“I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt” etc.</p>
<p>tanyanubin, again let me offer you congratulations for maintaining your responsible attitude - especially in light of some of the advice you have been given. What a great role model you have been for your daughter!</p>
<p>Perhaps, the boy was upset because it “first appeared” to be a lot of damage - but when the car was washed/waxed he realized that it was fine - or his father helped him put it in perspective or his father took care of the damage. I hope that is the case. </p>
<p>But, I think Novelisto’s advice is good. Many other’s seem to blame the boy - as if he is putting his “silly car” before friendship. Perhaps, he is feeling “betrayed” by a friend and doesn’t understand why a “friend” would vandalize his car. </p>
<p>A simple statement of apology and a request for forgiveness is the first step toward reconciliation.</p>
<p>I agree that it doesn’t matter one whit what kind of car this was (the only relevance to your D was potentially the cost to repair) or how upset the boy was about it. </p>
<p>In apologizing (and if the boy won’t take phone calls and has just briefly answered a text message I would have her write a letter to the boy and his family) , I’d tell your D to be sure to own it and make it personal - "<em>I’m</em> sorry for what <em>I</em> did , rather than “I’m sorry for what happened” and that <em>I</em> very much regret it (ie show remorse). Another thing that could help is for your D to show that she has put a LOT of effort into researching what she did wrong (I’ve been reading lots of articles on how what I did can damage the finish of a car - I had no idea that this could have permanent consequences to a car’s finish - I’ve definitely learned a valuable lesson) and/or “please accept a car detailing, on me” - even if the parents are telling her to forget about it at this point. Also important, is for her not give a hint of getting upset or defensive with the “victim” - either directly or through the grapevine so that it would get back to him. </p>
<p>I’d do all of these things even if it turns out that there really was no lasting damage to the car ( I still suspect there may have been some for the boy to get so angry) - there was certainly the potential that there could have been and at this point it’s the relationship that’s been damaged even if the car hasn’t been. But I agree - I’d still want to see the car, myself. Is school still open - any chance you can drive by the school parking lot and see for yourself?</p>
<p>To some of us males there is no such thing as a “silly car”. </p>
<p>The points about potential diminished value are very valid when it comes to higher end cars. German auto paint is very expensive and requires and expert paint shop to do it properly.</p>
<p>I don’t know about shave cream but the liquid white shoe polish people put on car windows will permanently etch glass.</p>
<p>I would agree barrons- I am not a teenage boy- but I remember them quite well & have known some that would not permit you to stand anyplace that you might lean against it, or if they could bring themselves to give you a ride, you weren’t allowed to cross your feet because it might scuff something.</p>
<p>However- while I recognize that cars are important, often to men more than women , what I remember from my youth, is that guys who paid for their own cars were more respected and took better care of them, than cars that were obviously paid for by their.parents.</p>
<p>I have known some pretty wealthy families, but none of them would buy their kid a car that with registration and ins, probably runs to more than the average annual income. ( I did know a boy that had a classic late 50s Corvette convertible with a special 5 color flame paint job that everyone knew his parents bought for him, but he was considered to be spoiled and the kids just used him to put up the money for the “keg”)</p>
<p>( Of course I don’t live on the eastside anymore- so I don’t even see many BMWs-a few classic Mercedes however when it is sunny)
In Seattle, no matter how much money you have, if you don’t drive a Volvo or a Subaru, you probably ride a bike.
( some who never need to go to Costco, drive minis or Volkswagen bugs, although I did see a Triumph Spitfire the other day)</p>
<p>Since the girl wasn’t “tagging” or trying to be malicious, I assume, since they are friends, not antagonists, I still think that the friendship is more important than the incidental damage which may or may not have occurred, and I am wondering if the parent who I assume bought this expensive hunk of metal for his kid, is now thinking the same thing.</p>
<p>Its good that it sounds like things are being worked out.</p>
<p>There are half dozen or so families at our hs that own dealerships- their kids all drive brand new cars. But I can imagine it doesn’t cost much to provide your kid with a car if you own a dealership. Many parents at our hs also buy their kids SUVs because they feel it will be safer than, say, a Civic. I’ve also known of several friends of my sons who end up with very nice cars when their grandparent (or another member of the family) dies. Then we also have those families that like to own a collection of cars- a truck, an SUV, a sports car, a cruising car, a beetle, etc., and their kids end up with one of them.</p>
<p>This town is full of both kids who have really expensive cars and kids who work hard for used Jettas. My D just happened to play this prank on the worst possible car she could have! The family is very well-off, and apparently the dad has a large collection of cars housed off his property. Who knows, maybe he has his own staff of mechanics, too! I just hope my D has learned that this kind of thing, even though no harm is meant, can be very expensive and hurtful.</p>
<p>I agree with the posters that say write a letter of apology to the boy and the parents. Make sure she says she had no malicious intent and had no idea that any permanent damage would result (I did not know so have learned something - not that i had any plans to go and shaving cream anyones car in the near future). And offer to pay for any damage or, if there is none, at least pay for a good detailing.</p>
<p>Good point about men and their cars. My Ds boyfriend has a new ($30,000+) truck which he parks as far away from everyone as he can and he (and his Dad) would have a fit if anyone did something like this to it. She on the other hand has an old car she paid $100 to a family friend and she has fun spiffing up with funky seat covers and floor mats. I don’t think shaving cream would hurt her paint job - might even help it out!</p>