<p>Please, please help me…after over a year of driving, DD has just gotten a speeding ticket! Since she’s already had an accident, this will put her over the maximum # of points and her license will be suspended for 90 days. She will not be able to drive herself to work for a good part of this summer. </p>
<p>This is entirely her fault and she is accepting it. I’m hoping the suspension will not come down for few more weeks (she got the speeding ticket out of state), but she HAS to earn money this summer for books and spending money. She will be going to college on August 25th (where she is not allowed to have a car) so after that it won’t be a problem. But until she goes to school, we’re going to have to drive her everywhere.</p>
<p>She’ll have to barter with friends and family members for rides to work (I can generally take her if she starts at lunch time; DH can drive her if it’s before 9:00) but as a lifeguard her schedule does vary from day to day.</p>
<p>I’m just wondering how others have handled this situation; having a child have her freedom and suddenly lose it. I don’t want her to go off to school with a chip on her shoulder. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>Sounds like your D is handling the situation very maturely. I would just things play themselves out, it sounds like it will be a learning experience for her. I know it was for our S when he flipped our pickup. He’s by far a more mature driver than I suspect he otherwise would have been at this point in his life.</p>
<p>SpringfieldMom,
I live in Pennsylvania and our family has past experience with out-of-state speeding tickets. I am pretty sure that most other states do not report to PA DMV and she is unlkely to get the points on her license (and lose driving privileges), although she will have to pay the fine of course. Also, if she goes to court (if it is close enough to do that - is it in New Jersey?) instead of pleeing guilty and paying by mail, the prosecutor will often speak to her ahead of time and reduce the charge (the number of mph over the speed limit). She may have to pay additional court costs, but the total fee will be the same or similar to what it would have been if she plead guilty to the higher summons by mail, and her record will have a lesser offense on it. I hope this makes sense - if not, I will be glad to clarify further.</p>
<p>(My son got a ticket in New Jersey when he was a h.s. senior - he pled guilty in court as above - it was never reported to PA or reflected in our insurance, etc.)</p>
<p>This almost happened to a friend’s son, but it was his junior operator’s license and they were told that if he appealed or contested it, that would delay things until he turned 18 and got his regular license. It wouldn’t erase the points, but it takes more points to lose a regular license than a junior one. I don’t suppose this would apply to your daughter’s case? The boy in question is very honest and straightforward so he checked the “do not contest” box at first. He had just barely been over the speed limit, so it did seem a bit harsh.</p>
<p>I feel for you Springfieldmom. After ldgirl’s second fender bender, we took her car from her for an entire summer while she worked to pay us back for repairs. She was waitressing, volunteering two mornings at the hospital ER and working as a ROPES high course counselor, so I was running EVERYWHERE nonstop getting her places. It felt like more like I was being punished than her. And on top of that, she was really ticked off at us for disciplining her this way. Seems all her friends get to wreck “brand new cars” repeatedly and their parents replace them without a peep. Since then, she looks back on that summer very philosophically and admits we did the right thing.</p>
<p>Don’t have much advice to offer…it will be extremely inconvenient for your entire family. But I do feel for you and commend you for not allowing her to ‘pull a Paris’.</p>
<p>It would be tough to cycle to work in the summer if you work in an office or a store because you would be awfully sweaty by the time you arrived, but this shouldn’t matter for a lifeguard. She has access to a shower at work, doesn’t she?</p>
<p>My daughter had better watch herself when she’s driving this summer. I don’t think the customers at the craft store where she works would appreciate being helped by a clerk who was dripping with sweat from a five-mile bike ride.</p>
<p>I’m in Pa. I concur with everything mother of two said. She won’t lose her license</p>
<p>I know a fast talking, bs’ing 18 yr old in Pa. that has had speeding tx (1 in a school zone) and accidents throughout the first year of having his license and he went to court each time, argued, had his fine and pts. reduced and still has his license. He is going to end up dead because he is so sure he can continue to get out of problems and he has not changed his habits.</p>
<p>my daughter has never had a car- but I have given her rides occasionally when she was home summers. She bikes, takes public transportation, bums rides or walks, skills she uses in her new hometown of Portland.</p>
<p>One advantage to working for a year with Americorps is that taking public transportation is part of the volunteer program and she learned to deal with taking the bus to the other end of town early in the morning and deal with missed stops and delays.</p>
<p>This is entirely her fault and she is accepting it.
Did she really have a choice?</p>
<p>*I don’t want her to go off to school with a chip on her shoulder. *
Learning her actions have conseqences would be a valuable skill to have in college.</p>
<p>“If” the state does submit points to your home state, you can try too have the points reduced by going to court or hiring a lawyer. Another option is if her license is going to be suspended, you may be able to delay the suspension until she leaves for school. This may mean you have to delay the court date also which usually isn’t hard. If your daughter will not have a car at school, that would be a perfect time to not have her license.Some states will also you to drive to work and school on a suspended license. </p>
<p>You should call your DMV and ask if the state where your daughter received the ticket does report to your home state; if not you will not have to worry about the points. Then you get to decide the punishment, not the state!</p>
<p>In my experience, you don’t need to argue and “BS”. If you go to court, the prosecutor will come up to you before the case is called and offer to reduce the charge. It is best to act very respectful and apologize and say that it won’t happen again when the case is called.
As far as safe driving, I think Springfield Mom’s daughter will learn the lesson that she should be more careful from this unpleasant experience (especially if she has to pay the fine herself), even without the loss of driving privileges.</p>
<p>"I’m just wondering how others have handled this situation; having a child have her freedom and suddenly lose it. I don’t want her to go off to school with a chip on her shoulder. "</p>
<p>I suggest not feeling responsible for her attitude. If she chooses to go off to college with a chip on her shoulder, that will be due to her decisions. However she handles this situation will be an important lesson to her and may help prevent her from being killed in the future due to careless driving.</p>
<p>I also strongly suggest that you not bend over backward and stress yourself off to drive her places. She got herself into this situation: It is not your responsibility to fix things for her or to get stressed due to her bad decisions and difficulty with transportation.</p>
<p>Call the court (you might need to do a lot of research to find the number-they tend to keep those quiet) and ask about a defensive driving course. If this is her first ticket, it will possibly get the charges dismissed. You can do the courses online (8 hours) and it is a good alternative. Otherwise, DO go to court and meet with the prosecutor. In most cases they will lower the charges if you are respectful and sorry. (I have a lot of expertise in this area- both for myself and WildChild)</p>
<p>MOWC - I don’t think PA has the defensive driving courses that I have heard of in other states - at least I haven’t heard of it.in the 29 years I have lived in PA. My brother-in-law is an attorney in our county here in PA, and I have heard him give advice numerous times on driving ticket issues to family members, etc. and this option has never been mentioned.</p>
<p>Getting a speeding ticket can be the absolutely best experience in the world. Our D got one for going 10 miles over the speed limit. She paid the fine out of her own money, plus we made her pay 10% of the increase in our insurance costs as a result of the ticket. (Would have asked for more, but we took into account her pay scale. We basically wanted her to see there are other implications than the fine itself.) </p>
<p>We also told her that the first ticket is out of her pocket. A second ticket would result in complete loss of driving privleges the rest of the summer or 3 months, whichever was longer. And we didn’t care what the state imposed - that would be our rule. </p>
<p>Multiple studies have shown that new drivers tend to be pretty careful. It’s the kids who have been driving more than a year who take the most chances as their confidence is higher than their judgment. I understand what a problem the chauffering can be. But inconvenience is the least of the worries. One of my good friends lost her daughter to a one-car accident caused by speeding and not wearing a seat belt.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your responses, and yes, the speeding ticket was in NJ. She was going more than 20 mph over the speed limit, but she said she felt she had to to get out of the way of some large semis that were also travelling on the road (it was a back country 2 lane). Of course, she drove right into a speed trap. (Did the semis get pulled over? no.)</p>
<p>We were going to take her off our insurance when she went to school anyway. I haven’t spoken to her at length, but it does sound like she may contest it. This will delay a license suspension until then, if one occurs at all. She knows kids who sucessfully contested their tickets, and a few who got off because the officer didn’t show up in court.</p>
<p>I think she’s handling it very well, especially since she’s asking our opinion and she’s already herself some rides to work (it’s only been a couple of days since it happened.) Thanks for all of the suggestions of biking or walking it; it’s a 4 mile trip so a bike isn’t out of the question but it’s too far to walk in the heat of the day. She will be responsible for the fines (as she was with the previous accident). DH and I have decided the car will be off limits for a while except to go to work. No matter how it turns out, it will be a learning experience for sure!</p>
<p>I am almost 100% positive that NJ does not report tickets to PA. Do you have information to the contrary or are you just assuming she will lose her license? I have been told this by both a NJ lawyer I know and my brother-in-law, a PA lawyer.</p>
<p>Of course, if you decide as parents to not allow her to drive, that is a totally different issue.</p>
<p>springfield mom…just an added bit of info for a heads up
If your d is caught underage drinking at PSU (a huge freshman occurance)they will suspend her license for 3 months and the suspension usually doesn’t start until the students are coming home for xmas break. You might want to share that fact with d and friends.</p>
<p>In addition she needs to know that on many job applications/ insurance applications etc. she will be asked if she has ever had her license suspended. </p>
<p>Sometimes paying a fine just doesn’t wake someone up. She will feel lucky this time because of being out of state. Only springfield mom knows if this will be enough to change her daughters driving habits. </p>
<p>I think a defensive driving course is a good idea anyway even if a court doesn’t require it.
Afterall the priority should be to become a safe, skilled driver ( IMO)</p>
<p>My D paid for individual lessons as needed- once she moved to Portland, which she said helped a lot, they can be individualized to give more practice in needed areas.
( traffic on Seattle is so dense & erratic- it is like diving off the deep end to learn to swim- not to mention Hs’ car is PITA to drive and mine isn’t much better for a beginner)</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your responses, and yes, the speeding ticket was in NJ. She was going more than 20 mph over the speed limit, but she said she felt she had to to get out of the way of some large semis that were also travelling on the road (it was a back country 2 lane). Of course, she drove right into a speed trap. (Did the semis get pulled over? no.</p>
<p>In this case I would go to court and appeal it- if possible.
It is probable that many others were caught that day and I think it is a reasonable explanation.
Semis block your visibility and cause a safety hazard in themselves & as long as she wasn’t reckless, it sounds like she was making a safe move.
( and it would make me mad if I had to go 20 miles over speed limit to get around trucks)</p>
<p>( there are also some websites that will tell you where the speed traps are- not that I am advocating driving recklessly, but I know that it is an easy ticket for cops to sit where the freeway changes speed for example, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are increasing overall safety)</p>
<p>It would scare me to death to know that my kid was passing semi’s on a back country two lane road (not many semi’s allowed on these roads by the way) where she is headed into oncoming traffic to pass. Drivers this young DO NOT have the experience to be doing this. Yikes!</p>
<p>Well, I reread your post and realized she was just going fast to get them off her tail and …I don’t blame her.</p>
