<p>Both kids graduated from college in 2007. Son (and cat) showed up and moved into the room above the garage (separate entrance, thank heavens!) in 2010 for “a while”. Told him “no rent for six months, then $100/month more each month”. It took him 9 months to buy a place and move out. Daughter (and kittens) is moving back to Portland in June; same deal. If we didn’t have the separate entrance, this wouldn’t work nearly so well.</p>
<p>Boomeranging back to our house is no fun. D1 opted to go live with her grandparents rather than follow the house rules. </p>
<p>I think the constraints of our house discourage a LONG return stay.</p>
<p>Everyone has to be at home and quiet (in their room. No kitchen) by 10:00 pm on weekdays and 12:00 am on weekends. If you’re not in by this hour, and prior arrangements/exceptions were not made, you have to stay with friends, get a hotel, whatever.</p>
<p>You get added to the chore list. If you live here, you work.</p>
<p>We need to know where your are, what you’re doing and who you’re with at all times.</p>
<p>No alcohol, tobacco, or anything illegal on our property at any time.</p>
<p>We will house you, feed you, laugh with you, have fun with you, but we will not be an endless source of money to pay your bills, fund your recreation, buy your clothes (you already have enough), etc.</p>
<p>You will actively look for a job, and we will help you by finding leads, printing resumes, and whatever else we can practically and appropriately do. For sure, we will keep hounding you about it until you’re employed. The people in our house work. If it goes a long time with no employment, we will put you on OUR payroll, and you can clean the house, paint, garden, run errands, etc. I can keep you busy for 40 hours a week, and deduct housing, utilities, food and car insurance from your pay. In other words, you’re going to want to get a job somewhere else.</p>
<p>I’m copying cromette’s list for future use!</p>
<p>Tempemom,</p>
<p>We also tell them that upon employment, they have to submit a “move out plan”.</p>
<p>That means a complete budget and a timeline for moving out. It might be 3 months, it might be 3 years, as long as it’s a reasonable plan with it’s base in reality and frugality - but we want to see the plan.</p>
<p>The oldest would NOT come home under these rules. D2 regularly comes home on summer break, and we require that she work, do chores, adhere to curfew, etc. She doesn’t mind. And she’s a joy to be around. We love having her home. If she wanted to come home for a while after graduation until she landed a job, it would be fine. We would love to have her.</p>
<p>I expect D3 will come home summers during college and work co-ops, and will probably be ready to get her own apartment at or nearly after graduation. Although, I have to admit - I’m anxious about that. We’re small town, and her place will probably be in the city (a much higher crime area).</p>
<p>Our oldest graduated and boomeranged last summer. In some ways I could have anticipated how this has played out., and yet we are all woefully unprepared. In any case, once again thanks to you good folk, she is off to Utah for a year, with Americorp, next month. I hope we will all better prepared by next year this time.</p>