short answer: focused enough? enough detail? Good, bad, or ugly?

<p>Hey guys! Well here’s my short answer about an activity for the common app. Any advice, critiques or opinions would be greatly appreciated! thanks</p>

<p>“Are you ready to try it, Lee?” I nod to Mr. Plummer, and with quivering hands, pick up my guitar. The veteran members of the high school jazz band are eying me, a shy, red-faced seventh grade kid, with curiosity. Mr. Plummer starts up the band, and I recklessly crash from chord to chord. </p>

<p>I eventually found I could hide behind the music stand and rehearse with my musical heroes. </p>

<p>Since then I have performed in front of audiences of thousands and appeared on television for each of the five Iowa State Jazz Championships our band has won. With cameras rolling and music stands out of the way, I have played banjo solos, bass lines, and screaming blues guitar licks that have earned me outstanding performer awards and All-State recognition. </p>

<p>Fear is something that I have since strived to overcome.</p>

<p>i like it , but i dont think it talks about activity that much, its more essay-ish. i would save the essay-ish parts of ur app for the essays and make this blunt, 150 words=no freedom of expression :)</p>

<p>Isn’t the proper conjugation “striven” rather than "strived’… ?</p>