Short essay for Stanford

Is this essay okay for a short answer to Stanford? The prompt is to write about a project or idea you find intellectually exciting. Please tell me if it will work and if there are any grammar mistakes (I haven’t had a teacher proofread it so I really need critical proofreading please!). Thanks!

When I walked into my first physics class in the August of my junior year, I was greeted by a smiling teacher. “PIF,” she told me. I found a seat, wondering what in the world that was supposed to mean, and waited for the class to begin. When everyone had arrived, my teacher said nothing but, instead, pulled out a dusty cassette player and pushed “play.” The song that I heard was unlike any other I had heard in my life; it was the Physics is Fun or PIF song. I knew right away that I was going to like that class.
As time wore on, I became fascinated with physics. Physics allows us to look at the tiniest particle and see how it plays a role in the vastness of the universe. Recently, I read the report Quantum Physics written by a committee chaired by Persis Drell from the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center. The report said that all of the ordinary “stuff” known to us makes up only about five percent of the universe. When I read this, my heart filled up with excitement; there is still so much more to be discovered! I know with every part of my being that I want to be a part of that quest for knowledge.
The universe is like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and the pieces are just now beginning to fit together. I hope that someday I will be able to look at that puzzle and see the picture it creates. In my college years and beyond, I will strive constantly to achieve this goal. After all, physics is fun! PIF!

<p>"When I read this, my heart filled up with excitement; there is still so much more to be discovered! "
Change 'filled up' to just 'filled'.</p>

<p>Did you really get excited by the song? I did not like the beginning. I thought it was sentimental and had nothing to do with physics itself. Is there some other way, the teacher got you excited in the subject other than playing the tape of PIF?</p>

<p>Perhaps address the humor and fun that this teacher used, making physics alive</p>

<p>Actually, I did like the song an awful lot. It set a great first impression for me and helped me to know that I was going to like the class a lot. It was so funny too! I would have elaborated more, but it is only a short answer essay, not a long essay. We're only allowed 1,500 characters (approx. 250 words) for our essay.</p>