(Short) Why I Love Chem Essay

<p>I’ll just post it here…I advise people don’t take inspiration from it it’s not good. Please tear it to pieces so it can be good :D</p>

<p>Order in apparent chaos is always beautiful. When I first stepped into the chemistry classroom back in tenth grade I did not expect anything spectacular – there didn’t seem to be any particularly interesting topics other than how things exploded. Or why things exploded. But then I learned about bonding, and everything changed. </p>

<p>A lot of people don’t like bonding – I think it’s brilliant. The way atoms in a compound arrange themselves into different shapes is, in my opinion, beautiful. Before I formally learned about bonding I always felt as though compounds were a disorderly mess, devoid of rigidity or structure. Logic escaped me then; now I see the necessity of nature to always be in the lowest possible energy state – the reason behind molecular structures – as a brilliant display of order in apparent chaos. Everything in chemistry began to make sense, and the notion that every chemical change in the universe – no matter how complex – could be explained with the simple principles of bonding really appealed to me. The pursuit of simplicity fueled – and continues to fuel – my passion for chemistry.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>The idea is nice, but…really? I know Chem, I took AP, I owned it, etc, etc…It’s just that I can’t imagine a real, live person write that essay. To me, it sounds fake, artificial, you know. Personally, I like Chem just because it’s easy and it makes sense, not like English or whatever else.</p>

<p>Okay, content aside. The first sentence is a statement that might not be entirely true. The use of “always” will set off a flag in most readers’ minds, so I would suggest limiting it to yourself or something like that. The most problematic parts of your essay besides, well, the “Who-the-heck-likes-Chem” part is your use of the “-” and the semi-colon.</p>

<p>Ex. “Logic escaped me then; now I see the necessity of nature to always be in the lowest possible energy state – the reason behind molecular structures – as a brilliant display of order in apparent chaos.”</p>

<p>That should me a “;” there, it should be “, but” and those “-” should better be commas. Grammatically the “-” are fine, but I think commas serve the purpose better. So make sure other semicolons and “-” work well with maybe an English teacher or Google their usage.</p>

<p>I don’t see any other big problems, but double-check that “every chemical change in the universe – no matter how complex – could be explained with the simple principles of bonding” because if a person who knows Chemistry well reads the essay and knows of a counter-example, it slightly hurts your credibility because it shows you don’t quite know what you’re writing about. I don’t remember if what you wrote is true or not.</p>

<p>In the end, this is a fair essay. If you really feel this way and plan to major in Chem, then it works nicely.</p>

<p>P.S. This: “The pursuit of simplicity fueled – and continues to fuel – my passion for chemistry.” I thought it was order within apparent chaos, and not just simplicity in general?</p>

<p>Oh, and you shouldn’t post your essays openly, people might steal them</p>

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<p>It’s pretty obvious that the writer is expressing an opinion and not asserting a universal fact. Especially since beauty is 100% subjective.</p>