should I be mad?d dropped ball on scholarship app

Parents Forum
21

<p>My D got the Alumni Scholarship at UCB and it is a great connection to a great group. The Alumni office is supportive, offers all sorts of connections, etc. Also, my D who had EC experience at the international level on the USA junior national team in her sport did not receive any of the other outside scholarships she applied for, those Fastweb types or other open to any one, looking for the amazing kid, ones…even though she was “amazing” on paper, but she got the Alumni $. And, she was not a leader in the typical ways at school - yes, she was a 3 sport athlete and was MVP/Captain, but she was not student body pres, or any of the other usual leadership hooks.</p>

<p>I asked her to be sure to do this essay like everything else and she did it, but she talked to her HS GC because she did not know what to say about leadership- she was not one of the 12 chosen ones on the executive council, not lead in the musical, she did not see herself as a leader. He said the nicest thing in the world, he was also her teacher and truly knows her well, but still it was a wonderful thing for any of our kids to think about themselves. He said:</p>

<p>“All those fancy titles are not important, you are a leader in the most important way of all- in the way you lead your life every single day you are a leader for your classmates.”</p>

<p>Boy, was that a confidence booster and a way to look at herself differently.</p>

<p>She made the 1st cut, then did the interview, and got the $. At Berkeley, you must reapply every year, you cannot rest on your laurels, you must keep being a leader. If your daughter has not missed it, tell her to get in gear and submit the essay!!! If she missed it and chooses UCLA, then be sure to see if she can apply next year.</p>

<p>Tell her this is one of the good scholarships- the schools will not take the award out of any grant section of your finaid, so it reduces loans! It is a connection that can only help her and it is really awarded to real people by real people. There is more than one awarded, so it is truly possible to receive it!</p>

22

<p>We couldn’t get D to get motivated to apply for scholarships. </p>

<p>At our school, a lot of the local scholarships go to kids with “a story.” Every year, two or three kids scoop up most of the money. They are great kids–need lots of financial aid, have overcome lots of adversity, involved in some great community service. This does not describe my kid. </p>

<p>I volunteer in the college and career center, which also helps kids apply for scholarships. I found that the above kids took the scholarship search very very seriously–they knew they had to find money from somewhere to go to college. They were very self-motivated.</p>

<p>Maybe after you put forward the amount of your financial contribution, your D will become motivated.</p>

23

<p>just a thought…could your kid maybe not want to go to that school? We had a similar situation with our 2nd son several years ago: incredible procrastination on the scholarship process. Finally, and the last minute, he admitted he really, really, really did not want to go to the school with the impending deadline. (He already had filled out everything on the school he wanted, and had been accepted to. The 2nd school was supposed to be his fall-back in case he didn’t get enough scholarship $$ to cover the first choice. IN his estimation,he had enough (although it had not been officially awarded, he met all criteria for automatic near full-ride.)</p>

24

<p>wecandothis: I’ve been through the college thing with three of my own children, and yes, they can drive you crazy!!! </p>

<p>This is not an excuse for your daughter’s lack of responsibility in getting her scholarship application in, but…try to remember that what’s of paramount importance to us, as adults, is at the bottom of the priority scale for adolescents. Their priorities are actually (to our dismay!) very normal in terms of the stage of adolescent development they’re in. Right now, boyfriends, girlfriends, shopping, music, school dances, etc. are at the top of their list. So, try not to be upset. Think of it this way: you’ve got a “normal” daughter. And yes, “normal” adolescents drive their parents crazy!!! Yes, I drove my parents crazy, too, when I was a teenager!</p>

<p>In my opinion, if UCLA is affordable to your family, I think it would be too harsh of a punishment to tell her that she can’t go because she messed up on the scholarship thing. BUT, let her know that you’re extremely upset because it’s not easy to meet college expenses. Adolescence is all about learning lessons…hopefully she’ll learn from this.</p>

25

<p>

calmom:
Maybe you mixed up some of the scholarships but the UC Regents scholarship isn’t tied to need. My D won the scholarship from a couple of the UCs and we don’t qualify for any need anywhere. The scholarships were significant in that they covered all tuition plus books. The Regents scholarship doesn’t need to be applied to though - it’s automatically applied to as a part of the UC application.</p>

26

<p>If you qualify for need-based aid, and the scholarship or grant merely replaces a loan in the package – its really the student’s concern. That is, if my daughter graduates with $15K worth of debt vs. $8K vs. no debt – none of it will be my problem. </p>

<p>I have no idea what a UCLA financial aid package looks like. UCSB’s award for my daughter included a $2625 Stafford loan - which is usually the bare minimum in loan amounts that colleges might expect - and a $10K grant. I’m sharing this because if you qualify for need based aid, as the parent you might end up paying the same no matter how many scholarships your daughter gets – if the college meets full EFC, then you simply won’t get any dollars that change the parental contribution amount. Your daughter will benefit if her loans and work-study obligations are reduced – but that isn’t going to translate into a benefit for you. </p>

<p>I don’t know about your situation, but it was pretty obvious to me and my daughter that any outside scholarship funds beyond about $5000 would simply benefit the college, not the student. If your daughter already has received some outside scholarship, she may already have passed that point of maximum benefit. </p>

<p>So the bottom line is really: can you afford to meet your FAFSA EFC? If the answer to that is no — you need to understand that if you qualify for financial aid, the scholarships are NOT going to reduce that EFC. If UCLA says you have to pay $10,000 you will still have to pay that – even though your daughter may get a better parking space.</p>

27

<p>Re post #25 – the Regents awards currently have a small award that is not based on need, with additional funding to be based on need:

<a href=“http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/scholarships/schol_type.html[/url]”>http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/scholarships/schol_type.html&lt;/a&gt;

<a href=“http://www.fao.ucla.edu/uclascholarships/regents.html[/url]”>http://www.fao.ucla.edu/uclascholarships/regents.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
</ul>

28

<p>As calmom notes, the majority of scholarships are $4k paid over four years. But, a neighbor did recieve a $15k “State Finals” merit award last year, and the family is full pay. (Great kid, elc, but definitely not a campus leader – only private school to which he was admitted was NW.) </p>

<p>Other Alumni Scholar plusses: advanced course registration, and the BIG favorite, priority parking pass points. :D</p>

29

<p>Have her school fax her common application recommendations to UCLA. You can review her current essays to see which fit for the UCLA application, then plug them into the app. At least this will give her a chance. Please do not be punitive, senior year is hard enough.</p>

30

<p>hmm…I didn’ see the latest posts on this, they didn’t come to my email as they should have
this was about an Alumni , not a Regents scholarship, btw
Mizo, I guess I could have done that, but the dilemma is: if she doesn’t want UCLA enough to bother, should I really do this for her??
Now watch, she’ll get into UCLA, but not Cal, and this will come back to bite us big-time…
I wish it was May 1</p>

31

<p>I am both a parent of a senior student and a HS college placement counselor. I would like to stress what Mizo said. “Please do not be punitive, senior year is hard enough.” I know nothing about your daughter, but in the last 2 weeks I have had very stable, smart, great kids losing it in my office. Just because the apps are in, doesn’t mean these kids can relax…they have to make sure their 2nd semester load is heavy enough, get good grades for the mid year reports, study for APs, participate in their sport-play-ec- and oh, there’s still the little matter of worrying about which college they’ll actually get into and where they’ll chose.</p>

<p>I completely understand your frustration at your daughter. But we are adults and have had years to perfect time and stress management and practice making good chices. These kids are still learning. This is the time to look at your kids and remember how young they really are. They need your support now even if they are acting like they’ve got it together.</p>

<p>Just my thoughts.</p>

32

<p>Thanks, that seems like very wise advice, and you certainly have the experience to back it up.
and, as my d would say, “I’m over it.”
she applied at a good (and numerous) mix of schools, so I think the bases are covered, even if we blew it on this…and it isn’t like UCLA was her top choice</p>

33

<p>“Mizo, I guess I could have done that, but the dilemma is: if she doesn’t want UCLA enough to bother, should I really do this for her?”</p>

<p>You’re the parent. You set the rules according to your own values.</p>

<p>As for me, I wouldn’t penalize one of my kids for applying to but then not winning a scholarship to a school that they wanted to go to. I would penalize one of my kids for not applying. If the kid didn’t bother to spend the time to apply for the scholarship, I’d hold the kid accountable for taking out the loan amount or earning the amount of money that the scholarship could have brought or going to a cheaper college.</p>

<p>I don’t think it’s too much to expect a young person to invest the couple of hours in applying for a scholarship that could help pay for the college of their choice. Certainly, my husband and I have to work far more than a couple of hours to earn a couple of thousand dollars, plus we have more things to worry about than teens have to be concerned about.</p>

34

<p>I know helping your student complete applications is a pain. However, the more money my D get the less I will have to do later. Have your child write about 4 essays that can be easily reworked to suit most scholarships, then ask them to determine which essay fits best, review and sign the completed application. Parents fill in the mundane stuff and get the common app recommendations and transcript from the school secretary and mail it off. My D has received two scholarships using this method. I have targeted about 8 other scholarships to which she should apply over the next 3 months and the process will be the same. Yes, I am very tired, but I’ll rest in June, and hopefully get a life of my own.<br>
D is working hard on 4 AP classes, she is smart put needs to put in a lot of time to get the grades she want and keeping EC abreast of her activities so I feel she is putting in her share of time, it will not be like this forever just until the end of senior year.</p>

35

<p>This is a sore point with me.</p>

<p>Both my kids are at private colleges, following very specific programs of their own choosing. Cost of school was not the deciding factor but each was on notice that they would be directly responsible for a portion of the overall cost over the length of their degree pursuit by way of student loans.</p>

<p>I know the kids are busy, but neither of my two rarely bothered to fill out any opportunities that I had researched for them. I chose scholarship opportunities that suited their particular strengths, and they each had a fair shot at these if they chose to take the time and effort. I made sure not to overburden them with insignificant amounts, wild reaches, or ridiculous odds. I gave them any required financial info up front, and made sure that the effort involved in terms of time was offset by the dollar value of the award; They were given notice of the app months before the deadline.</p>

<p>In most cases, all they had to do was secure a couple of recommendation letters, and write a short essay. The most repeated excuse for not meeting the deadlines was “I didn’t have time”, translated as the requests for the letter(s) was never initiated or initated very late. </p>

<p>Come May, they both will have their degrees. Hopefully jobs, too.
When it’s time to buy either gas, food, or pay the loan, I hope they realize
what potential opportunities they so easily dismissed.</p>

36

<p>Mizo- at our school the recs letters are sent directly by the recommender, not kept on file by the school secretary.
Are you at a private school?</p>

37

<p>as a student, this particular post sickens me. i’m sure you hate to hear it from “my generation,” but times are not what they were for yours. if you know your daughter is being stretched thin right now, give her a break. i for one can think of countless nights i stayed up until all hours finishing up applications and polishing essays in order to win as many scholarships as possible. if your daughter is the avid student you suggest, i’m sure she isn’t doing this to spite you. she probably has no intention of causing your family unnecessary hardship. </p>

<p>tell her immediately in a non-threatening way what this scholarship means to her chances for UCLA. maybe you could offer her a small incentive–a new sweater, a nice dinner out, a day off of school for you guys to spend bonding, etc–for her to finish her application on time. i for one would have loved it if my parents acknowledged how hard i was working on particular applications.</p>

<p>please give your daughter a break. i can attest that it is a very difficult time of year for high school seniors; college decisions are coming out, senioritis is kicking in, and the social scene is becoming somewhat bittersweet as high school as we know it draws to a close. don’t forget to allow her to be a kid for as long as she can be…apparently, once it’s gone you can’t get it back. </p>

<p>i hope she gets her scholarship!!</p>

38

<p>kristin5792 - Thanks for saying, from the student’s point of view, exactly what I was trying to say . The only issue I have is…no sweater!</p>

<p>Parents have a right to be irked when their kids act like it’s no big deal to miss a scholarship deadline. My point is, they have a lot of big deals they are trying to handle right now and no matter how near perfect or together your kid may appear, there is a reason that they haven’t gotten to that simple request of yours…they’re stressed.</p>