should I be mad?d dropped ball on scholarship app

Parents Forum
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<p>I have been very supportive to my d thru the whole app process. She applied to a lot of schools because we are in a kind of unusual financial situation and we aren’t sure how the whole merit/finaid thing will come out. REgardless, getting scholarships is very important. Once we got thru the admission process I have tried to let her take the lead on the various scholarships she is eligible to apply for…plus I really don’t have time to hold her hand right now. As a result, she has gotten these applications in at the nth hour each time, procrastinating until the very last possible moment on each one…even staying home from school on one occasion to get them done</p>

<p>Now she had one due for UCLA this Weds. 2/21. I just asked her about it. She told me there is no way she can do that one because she can’t get the letters of rec in time! (She hadn’t requested them yet!)</p>

<p>She is not overloaded at school right now or I would probably excuse this. I want to tell her then as a result she will not be allowed to go to UCLA, if she is admitted. Is that fair or too punitive?</p>

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<p>There may be some leeway for recs as long as her part of the application is received on time. She should request the recs asap. Perhaps the teachers will be willing to do them in a hurry.</p>

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<p>She can go back to the same teachers that did the recs for applications and have them tweak them…wouldn’t most of the recs for everyone be almost the same pretty much as the one they used for applications</p>

<p>to have another for the same school seems redundent</p>

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<p>wecandothis, I think our daughters are two peas in a pod! Mine has received some nice scholarship offers, but the truth is that we need more in order to make this work. Her job is to put some effort into attempting to get scholarships. I have to push, push, push. She let some deadlines pass without bothering. I told her that we will pay “x” amount per year; the rest she is just going to have to borrow. I would be more inclined to pay more IF she tried a bit harder to get some scholarship money. She finally started filling out applications. There is no reason for her foot-dragging, other than the fact that she just doesn’t feel motivated. This is the same D who submitted all her app stuff at the last possible minute. All I can say is, I am glad she is going to school in another state … I won’t have to hear the whining when she realizes that procrastination will catch up with her (I can ignore the phone!)!</p>

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<p>I think it’s fair to tell her that you’ll need to consider the entire financial package in determining the college she can ultimately go to assuming you’ll be paying for part of it. It’s just a reality unless money’s no object for you. She needs to know she has to hold up her end of the bargain. Some of the scholarships can be significant. She needs to know the consequences and that her procrastination could make the difference between her going to her top choice college or to one less desired by her. </p>

<p>Also, I suggest sitting down today or tomorrow and making up a ‘calendar’ of important dates at the colleges she’s considering including deadlines for scholarship apps. She needs to consult the calendar daily and I suggest you do as well since the cost of missing some of the deadlines could be significant. It’s a pain to have to supervise to this level but sometimes it’s necessary and will cost you if you don’t.</p>

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<p>It’s hard for kids to write essays for scholarships, especially if they feel that their efforts are a long shot. This isn’t a time to be punitive, as in “you can’t go to that school since you couldn’t be bothered to fill out the scholarship ap.” This is the time to be a realist, as in "honey, this is how much money we can afford to contribute to your college education. How are you going to come up with the additional funds? "</p>

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<p>What kind of scholarship? Are you aware that the UC Regents scholarships are tied to need? That even if you win the scholarship-- your daughter would only get a token amount unless more was justified by need?</p>

<p>If you qualify for need based aid, you will probably have full need met at UCLA - or close to it. A merit award might shift the balance between grants & self-help (loans vs. work study) – but it won’t exceed the amount needed to meet your EFC.</p>

<p>So before you get too ticked off, you might want to put it into perspective.</p>

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<p>Thx everyone- we do have the big calendar, but it was her job to enter the dates…guess I can’t let up just yet. Parents of procrastinators: do they learn the hard way, eventually, if you let them experience “natural consequences”? as in, you missed the deadline, so sorry, but we can’t consider UCLA anymore. Maybe I should start a whole new thread on that topic. Take a procrastinator, add senioritis and essay burnout…and good luck getting those scholarship apps out!</p>

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<p>we let our son know very early on that he would be responsible for a significant %age of his college costs, ie tuition, fees, books and spending money. As a result he was very conscientious in following up on merit aid and racked up $376,000 total. </p>

<p>The college he chose(RPI) offered him $25,000/yr whcih sealed the deal for hiI think parents need to be very specific in what they expect from their children w/r to college costs. If they are not, unexpected negative consequences can result.</p>

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<p>very good point, original…I’ve been more focused on “how much aid can she get”, rather than, “bottom line, what is the max I can afford to contribute.” I will need to re-focus my thinking on that aspect.</p>

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<p>Just a followup on my last post – when you didn’t respond to my comments about the Regents, I did a little digging into your posts and see that about 3 weeks ago you posted that your daughter had received an email inviting her to apply for a UCLA alumni scholarship. Another poster told you that everyone gets those. I went to the UCLA web site at <a href=“http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/scholarships/schol_campus/schol_ucla.html#2[/url]”>http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/scholarships/schol_campus/schol_ucla.html#2&lt;/a&gt; </p>

<p>I found that the alumni scholarship is a merit award that requires “demonstrated leadership” in school, EC’s and community activities. The student must also commit to 30 hours of community service work to maintain the scholarship. While I value community service, time spent on one kind of work is time that is not available for other work – so I have to value that 30 hours as a $300 contribution from the student. </p>

<p>From the UCLA alumni site - <a href=“Blog - รับให้คำปรึกษาการศึกษาต่อต่างประเทศ แนะนำการขอทุนเรียนต่อ นิวยอร์ก UCL Alumni University College London おもちゃ 寄付 千葉 いらないおもちゃ 寄付 ใช้เงินน้อย ได้เงินคืน”>Blog - รับให้คำปรึกษาการศึกษาต่อต่างประเทศ แนะนำการขอทุนเรียนต่อ นิวยอร์ก UCL Alumni University College London おもちゃ 寄付 千葉 いらないおもちゃ 寄付 ใช้เงินน้อย ได้เงินคืน; - I find that the typical scholarship amount is $1000. </p>

<p>So what I see is that your daughter has decided not to bother trying to apply for a long-shot scholarship with probably thousands of applicants that has a potential net value of $700 to her, if you account for the community service obligation. </p>

<p>My guess is that your daughter made the the statement that it is “too late” to get a teacher recommendation because she knows or believes that she wouldn’t get the quality of rec. needed for this scholarship anyway. These “leadership” scholarships tend to go to kids who have a lot of leadership credentials: president, chairperson, director, or founder of all sorts of things. I don’t know what your daughter’s EC’s are like – but leader-type kids tend to be very proactive about deadlines. Obviously I don’t know your daughter so I could be very wrong – but it just seems to me that you are very upset about a relatively small amount of money that your daughter probably would not have gotten anyway. </p>

<p>My kids applied for a lot of private scholarships and didn’t get any; they also decided NOT to apply for many more. Basically they didn’t apply to any where they thought they didn’t stand much of a chance, or where the amount of work required to apply was disproportionate to the amount to be awarded or likelihood of success.</p>

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<p>Calmom has a very good point about that scholarship. All sources of funding need to be evaluated in light of the overall picture. (Including unreasonable GPA requirements etc.)</p>

<p>Aside from that I totally agree with ucsd dad and originaloog. Go with the bottom line. Kids need to be aware of that bottom line. At least in my family they do!</p>

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<p>I agree with weenie about the bottom line. I have found that the most efficient and effective way for my kids to get money for college is via summer employment.</p>

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<p>Wow. What a group. I can see bits and pieces of just about conversation, argument, or email that occurs in my house played out here in nearly every thread.</p>

<p>I said the same thing as Kelsmom the other day re: how much I can pay. Although I dont have a dollar amount…yet told DS, you know, I want to help you and support you any way I can, but there is only so many marginal monthly dollars, and so many savings and assets that can be accessed for funding your college education. </p>

<p>I haven’t figured it out yet (my actual financial committment…lets face it, it will be a low ball at best, many other intangibles will go into play, he’ll get much more funding from us), but DS seems to understand this. I thought he would be much more motivated to apply for the schollies than he seems to be. Oh he’ll do them, S L O W L Y. He has one now that he is working on. Spent about 2 or 3 hours over the weekend, and has a total of one paragraph. (not to mention that I did some research for him and sent it to his email 3 weeks ago).</p>

<p>I got home and wife tells me that DS was working very hard on his schollie essay. HE WROTE ONE PARAGRAPH!!! I guess at this rate he will just meet the March 15 Deadline. In the meantime I will lose the rest of my hair, or else just the stuff that isn’t grey already will fall out.</p>

<p>Oh, and I almost forgot the other convo, relative to his summer employment. Well, we’ll have a summer vacation, and then he may want to join another family member on a trip the following week…“Well, Dad, I really will probably only be able to work a couple of weeks this summer…You know, its my last summer” blah blah ad nauseum… I told him that perhaps he better find a job that will net him better than 6 bucks an hour. if he is only able to work a couple weeks. Maybe you ought to forego the extra trip. I’d hate to have him miss out on our family vacay, especially since it may be the last one he can participate in… </p>

<p>On second thought, perhaps I cant even afford to take a vacation…although we always go on the cheap either by camping, and using frequent stay miles at hotels… Either way, there is this 800 pound gorilla creeping up on us…And my sense of urgency seems to be an order of magnitude above his. Oh Well. <rant over=“”></rant></p>

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<p>Just like the other posters who where up front about money from the very beginning, telling the kiddos early really helped motivate them. Mine all knew from feshman year in high school on what the “bottom line” would be. It not only dictated which schools and where but how many outside scholarship apps/employment/internships they would need to make it happen for THEM.</p>

<p>I served as “calendar girl” and “stamp licker” and they did the rest. How much outside scholie money they achieved and institutional monies requiring seperate apps would have a direct corollation to the amount of student loans they would require.</p>

<p>I moved them to a state with many in-state options with very low cost tuitions. They had the fall-back of being able to live at home and commute, work in exchange for room and board on campus (RAs, research positions with required residency on campus). Taught them all how to use half.com for books and the library for texts.</p>

<p>Since they knew the exact $ amount we could do, it was up to them. 5 years later, 4 kiddos in undergrad/grad school now it has made a difference. Both son #2 and daughter#2 have received additional scholarships funds after already matriculating. And some of their outside scholarships are graduated, more for each year, i.e $3K, then $5K and upwards each year after. With much determination all have managed to eliminate all loans, all summer contributions and work study. DD managed to keep her work study job as reg. part-time employment (clinical work in dr.'s office on campus and she is pre-med). This allowed them the freedom to be more selective about summer programs/research/internships and practice time for their respective sports.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>I agree completely.</p>

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<p>Also remember that there were 52,000 applicants to UCLA and every one of them can apply for this $1,000 scholarship, which requires several essays about leadership, has a large subjective component to the award process, and requires you to put in work hours if you get it (probably including calling up students the following year to tell them they should apply for the scholarship!). Your daughter has already written 3 essays for UC; I would let her off the hook on this one. The Regents scholarship would be a different story.</p>

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<p>I do appreciate all the different perspectives offered. Don’t get me wrong though, but I still see it as somewhat defeatist to say “Oh, I probably won’t get that, so I won’t bother.” she has already received some very nice merit scholarships from other inside and outside sources. This shows me she can be competitive. I don’t think her attitude was anywhere near as calculated as some are giving her credit for. Also, this particular scholarship only requires the 30 hrs volunteer work, no GPA minimum, which I thought was very attractive. She likes doing community service, and that is always a resume builder, if nothing else, which may be a better time investment than working at some minimun wage job. At this age, time spent in an activity is not always measured in the dollars and cents outcome, but in the future potential that the activity holds. Especially when you look at the amount that is assessed against the kid’s income in the finaid formulas. Any math people here who can calculate what they really make after the finaid formaula takes it bite out of their earnings? (She already has enough money saved to meet her expecte4d contribution from summer employment, anyhow.)
So, I’m still not happy about the situation, but realized I need to get more specific with her about my contribution vs hers which will come from work, scholarships and loans. Personally, I would much rather spend an hour or so per day for a few months being on top of scholarships and getting some money that way, than working a minimum wage job all summer, or having mega-loans upon graduation.
It’s hard coming up with a hard figure to tell her I can contribute, due to some unfortunate circumstances over the past few years and some unpredictable aspects I have to contend with…the true figure is “as little as possible”! Things have just been very unstable for us financially in recent years, due to illness and other things that were totally out of my control.</p>

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<p>btw, I have heard from another parent who “made” her d apply for this, that her d won it, and then it was increased to 2500, and also that there were numerous perks that went with it. I just think 1000- 2500. is well worth a few hours of my ds time, and as I’ve always said, you don’t know unless you try. if you don’t try, well then, you surely won’t get it.
so I will try to reason with her today after school. The recs are already basically written from other things, so that should not be too much of an issue. They do have to go in the package with the rest of the app, all postmarked on the 21st.</p>

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<p>OK, here is the info about the actual $ and the perks for UCLA Freshman Alumni Scholarships. Everyone’s situatin is different, but for us this would be fantastic, and well worth the effort. She would possibly get the need based 5K bump too, if she qualified for the merit portion:</p>

<p>Benefits
MONETARY
$4,000 for Community College Transfer Scholarships
$4,000 for Arts and Out-of-State Scholarship Legacies
$4,000-15,000 for Freshman and Bunche scholarships.
Up to $5,000 for Self-Help Grants for the first year to all entering students with proven financial need (Grants replace Stafford and Perkins loans and any work-study positions.)
Up to $5,000 for Wasserman Grants for the second, third and fourth years, available to Alumni Scholars with proven financial need (Grants replace Stafford and Perkins loans and any work-study positions.)
NON-MONETARY </p>

<p>Priority enrollment for up to 10 units each quarter at UCLA, except first quarter at UCLA when enrollment is handled through the orientation program.
Assistance for up to 14 points with on-campus parking for the first year for those scholars who do not live on campus.
Opportunity to receive additional Alumni Scholarships throughout matriculation at UCLA.
Academic counseling from the Division of Honors for first-year Alumni Scholars in the College of Letters and Science.
Alumni Scholars Club Mentor Program. Choose a UCLA graduate as a mentor and receive valuable advice and guidance on issues such as choice of major, potential career paths, applying to graduate school and the transition to the workforce.
Leadership development. Alumni Scholars attend leadership development workshops throughout the year or apply to become an ASC coordinator or Executive Board member.
Free photocopying, computer and printing privileges at the James West Alumni Center.
Support from Alumni Association staff, including a full-time advisor, to help resolve questions and concerns regarding campus programs and services.
Alumni Scholars Club membership. As a member of ASC, a student service organization sponsored by the Alumni Association, students get access to additional benefits. </p>

<p>Welcome into a friendly extended family of continuing students, alumni and staff who help new students transition to life at UCLA.
Leadership development activities
A network of fellow Alumni Scholars, to build through social activities and service to the campus community.
Help recruit highly accomplished prospective UCLA students.
Alumni Association programs and activities.
Become a donor and give back through the Alumni Scholars Club Scholarship.
Qualify to be an ASC coordinator or Executive Board member and help direct activities and manage budgets.</p>