<p>Dude, do you actually love your girlfriend? it sounds like you just like being w/ her because she’s a good girl. </p>
<p>you reminds me of how my ex broke up w/ me few months ago. We’d been together for a year, seldom fought just like you two. It was totally out of blue.He said I was great to him, and the type that he will get married with. But he just thought there would be a better one.*** isn’t it? I was totally heart broken. However, afterwards I realized it didn’t work maybe because he wasn’t in love w/ me or didn’thave faith in our relationship as i’m going to school out of state. </p>
<p>Anyway, I think it’s only fair for both of you to break up if you think you r not right for each other. it’s your lost, so think twice before you do.</p>
<p>“i guess i’m curious how much you guys value shared interests in the arts. do you find it important in married life, or is your day-to-day relationship what keeps you together? i feel like i’m in a seinfeld episode: we’re at the art gallery and i ask my date what she thinks of a painting. she says she doesn’t really like it and i respond “yeah, this just isn’t working out.””</p>
<p>Having a partner with shared tastes in the arts isn’t that important to me as long as their differences aren’t inflicted on me. For instance, I’d have a hard time living with someone who blasted country music all day and couldn’t stand the thought of attending a jazz or classical music concert.</p>
<p>It wouldn’t bother me, though, if my partner liked different art at museums than I like.</p>
<p>It doesn’t bother me that my husband and my taste in books rarely coincides. I am in a book group with friends whose views are more like mine.</p>
<p>For me, what’s most important is shared values. What I would have a hard time being with is someone who thought that the purpose of life is to make lots of money including by tearing other people down to do so. I like to be with people who are interested in making the world a better place. I would not have much in common with a man whose reason for being was to make as much money as possible.</p>
<p>I am in much the same boat as you, my girlfriend is similar to yours and I am similar to you, but I do not think of the differences between my girlfriend and me as an annoyance. I enjoy being clever, and I enjoy when she’s cute, and I like things that way. I enjoy movies of a different kind than she does, but we both watch movies that the other likes and stuff like that, you need to appreciate the difference. Imagine if you were hanging out with an exact clone of yourself all the time, it would be pretty tiring. A different personality is very refreshing.(at least to me most of the time)</p>
<p>The important thing is that you guys do have some things in common, that you can at least do the things the other likes and enjoy the fact that they are enjoying themself. If you can’t do that then you probably aren’t in love with her. It’s a give and take relationship, but if you think the problem is that bad, you shouldn’t be with her</p>
<p>if your only concerns are about her art preferences, then i would say to try to stay together. however, if she likes “fluffy” stuff because she is not very intellectual then give it more thought. if this doesn’t bother you, great! if it does, see how important that is to your relationship. sometimes differences are good for a relationship (as long as expectations are balanced). sometimes, they might be too big.</p>
<p>reading back on this in 2011 and in much the same situation. I feel very strongly about this girl and I accept her differences as complementary to my own personality. However, I feel our own dreams and aspirations pulling us in different directions. in that sense I am determined to be honest with myself and with her about things. however, I am worried that to some extent I am really just consumed with post-college anxienty and am subconsciously using this whole thing as a scapegoat.</p>
<p>We are both internationally oriented, but in very different directions, and experience has shown me that we do not work in a long-distance relationship (though things go very well when we are together). I know for a fact that she is considering international options. these are options that, though i dont think she thinks or it this way, will ultimately lead to us breaking up. I feel compelled to do the same, and I feel that I am presented with two options:</p>
<p>1) break up with her and blindly follow my dreams. in a sense this excites me hugely, not because of the prospect of meeting other women, but because I am freed of the constriction of tailoring my future plans to that which will keep us together, or that which she will approve of. to her credit she is highly accepting of my own goals and individualism, but very sensitive to the prospect of me moving on or choosing a particular option in which she is not the focus. I would choose this straight out, but am worried that I will regret walking away from her, as she’s brought me some of the best years and experiences of my life. </p>
<p>2) stay with her and do everything I can to fulfil what I want to do while still satisfying and preserving what we have (and have had for 2.5 years). this will inevitably require compromising my own goals to a degree. but maybe its worht it. or maybe its not and I will regret this option as well. I dont ****ing know.</p>
<p>in any case. if you or anyone else has any advice for someone at a crossroads please post. anything is helpful.</p>
<p>I’ve been married for 7 years and I married someone who is not on the same level as me in terms of art appreciation and understanding of the sciences. Sometimes it is difficult to talk about those things with my spouse, but, you know what? You can always find a forum full of people to discuss art with. You can always find a book club. At least she is willing to try things! So many girls are not willing to try anything at all that isn’t fluff. I tried watching Blue Valentine with my younger sister which is really just a heavy character film rather than a real story and she HATED it, made me turn it off to watch Beastly which was a wretched bit of fluff. My spouse tolerated watching Blue Valentine as he has many other films before it, asked why I liked it, didn’t really get it but he tolerated it. Likewise, I’ll tolerate many budget zombie flicks… lol
The most complicated thing is finding someone who doesn’t drive you completely bonkers after a year. I dated my ‘soulmate’, that dude was my exact match. The problem with dating your exact match is that your weaknesses compound. I got *<strong><em>ed at him because he drank too much at a party and had a hangover when we were supposed to go out. I kicked him out of my car and he actually got out and we never talked again because neither of us will make the first move and apologize. It was three years before he apologized and that was the week before my wedding when he hoped I would call it off, sorry, a bit late on that one! But, that relationship was doomed to fail over and over again. Sure, it had moments that were truly magnificent, but, it could never last.
So, I’m married, there aren’t too many fantastic moments, but, it’s like having a lifelong friend to do stuff with. He’s great with our kid and I can forgive him his lack of culture and wisdom. You know why? When I get *</em></strong>ed at something that doesn’t really matter and yell at him to get the F$%^ out of my car, he won’t leave… lol
Anyhow, that’s just my take on it. Funny thing is, I’m so ****ed at the dude right now because he decided we’re not going to Repticon that I’ve been talking about for weeks and I’m still glad I picked him.
So, yeah, only you know the answer to your question. But, having your exact soulmate is often only fantastic in the short term before it blows up in your face.</p>