<p>Dorm at pace? thats a total of a $600 deposit (sighs) …but then again, going to pace and coming home wouldnt let me concentrate on my school work at home, I’ll have more liberty I guess,… but on the other side I’ll also miss my home…and gosh, being in a dorm with someone you dont know, who might tuch your stuff, or steal it …is …a risk… I dont know … what should I do??? I applied for housing … my mom thinks I’m staying home to sleep, she does get on my nerves sometimes, she’s also goanna cry…help?</p>
<p>How far would your commute be… and can you afford the cost of dorming?</p>
<p>well it would be 12,000 off what i gotta pay less, but what if theres a class thats like … 10pm at night? or 7pm? or anything dealing with the pm after or at 5 and then go back home 45min ride to do homework…what if one day theres a test? … omggg… =[</p>
<p>My D doesn’t attend Pace but I imagine some things are similar and she is usually at school due to rehearsals until 11 PM or later and then rides the subway home. She never gets to go home at 5 PM to her apartment!</p>
<p>yeah soozievt but you guys dont live with eachother, so you dont cry over your daughter consistantly. Its only been me and my mother all this time, and now im going to college…and im assuming your daughter is older than 18, i dont own my own apartment and its hard to go home at 11pm and then study for a test…thats alot</p>
<p>kate…I think you are misunderstanding my post. I was ONLY responding to your post #3 and I thought (perhaps wrongly?) you were saying that you might have to get home as late as 7 or 10 PM and I’m saying that if your schedule is like my D’s in a BFA program, you could be getting home past 11 PM. That’s all I was pointing out and I was not addressing your original post. </p>
<p>But about your original post…if you cannot afford to do housing as part of college, you may have to save money and live at home. Otherwise, if at all possible, I STRONGLY encourage you to board at school. Part of going to college is not just classroom learning but it is about learning to be independent as a transition into adulthood. A favorite poster of mine who no longer is on CC, jamimom (look up her posts) used to refer to college as a “Disney halfway house.” 
But it is true in lotsa ways. Before you have to support yourself and live and work on your own, college is a transition where you gain independence from home and family but do not have to be entirely on your own to support yourself and so forth. If you only go to your college for the classes, you are going to miss out on the social aspects…the bonding with others and the activities outside of class. I can’t stress enough how these are all part of the college experience. Further, going to college is a time to start gaining independence from parents and supervision. It is really important that you begin to do this. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what you mean about crying over my daughter consistently. Do I miss my daughters? YES!!! But I had to let them go as it was this time in their lives to be on their own and I wanted that for them even if it was hard to get used to them being away from home. It WILL be hard for your mom to let go but she’ll adjust and manage. All moms do as they have to. I can’t tell from your posts what the issue is…are you saying you DO NOT want to live away from home? Or that your mom doesn’t want you to? If it is you, then I understand that you may fear the unknown. Many kids do who have never lived away from home. I will admit, my kids were not scared at all and could not wait to go to college and they had also spent summers away from home for many years prior to college. They do not get homesick. You talk about living with a strange roommate but that is part of college. New experiences! You’re gonna be OK! Everyone is in the same boat! Within days, you will have friends. The other kids will not be going home to their parents at night and you will be missing out being with your college peers. </p>
<p>You mentioned my D being older than 18. My D is a senior and she is 20. She started college at NYU at age 16 1/2. My other D started college on her 18th birthday. They lived in dorms. They eventually got apartments. I can’t tell what you mean about going home at 11 and studying for a test. Yes, that is what my kids do (though truth be told, they have very few actual tests but they do have papers to write and other class prep). And yes, they must do it late at night. That is why it would be FAR easier for you to live at school. You may get out of rehearsals at 11 and then will have to do homework. I was trying to say that you would be better off at a dorm rather than commuting home at that hour. I can’t tell if you agree with that or prefer to go home to your mom.</p>
<p>I’m a freshman at Pace this year and if it you can afford it I would recommend dorming. Being right above your classrooms, rehearsal spaces, and friends is incredibly useful. Every freshman in the class this year dorms, i feel like if someone did they would fill like the odd man out.</p>
<p>Hey since your a freshman, what is the dorm life like? … for instance… do people sneak in drugs/alcohol or other people that shouldnt be in their rooms? --dont just say no, be honest cus in Columbia they do it to. Is the safety good? …and what is some SAR somethingg supposively those people are mean or something I dont know if I even wrote it right, but you shuld be able to pick up on it</p>
<p>Katecisco…if I may…
At ANY college, there are some students who will sneak alcohol or drugs into their rooms. So, this is not just at Pace but anywhere you choose to attend college. What you need to do is concern yourself with your own limits and to establish limits for the room you share with your roommate. There are also RAs on duty and other housing authorities to go to if a problem arises. At some schools there are substance free floors or dorms and you can inquire about that. </p>
<p>As far as sneaking people into your room. You can have anyone into your room in college. However, at schools in NYC, or at least at NYU, there is a limit to how many guests you can have and for how many nights. There is dorm security that visitors must pass through and I know at NYU, the resident of the dorm must be present to sign their guest in and out. But certainly guests are allowed, even overnight. But nobody has to come into YOUR room that you do not wish to. You also will need to establish some agreed upon limits with your roommate. </p>
<p>All these things are part of going to college and are not specific to Pace. It is a time for independence and learning to work out these issues and part of growing up. College will not be like high school or like living with your mom or your dad. And it should not be.</p>
<p>I felt that this thread was really important, considering the other one people started talking about something else. I made it because, I CANNOT make a Pace deposit if I’m not 100% sure I want to dorm. I know this sounds babyish but I’m a single child from a single parent home, and I live about 30-35 minutes away from Pace. People say that its a good experience, but why am I not too sure?..part of me wants to dorm because of the freedom/experience/independence … the other part of me feels kinda selfish to leave my mother alone at home. I’ve been anxious to get my schedule from Pace to see what their time arrangements are, and then again dorming would mean putting more emphasis on my school work and getting good grades…but never truly getting any privacy, since I cant just tell my room mate to get out. What do you guys think?? … should I dorm?? … before I make that deposit</p>
<p>If finances are not an issue, my opinion is BY ALL MEANS DORM. For those who are able to afford it, I believe it is an integral part of the college experience.</p>
<p>katecisco:
I have merged both of your threads that are on this same topic/question that ask for input as to whether you should dorm at Pace. You may not have two threads on the same question. Your “new thread” begins at post #10 now.</p>
<p>You mention not getting privacy in a dorm. But that is what college dorm life is about and you will adjust as thousands do. It is not like living at home. It is all part of the college experience and learning to live and work with others. You’ll have to work things out with your roommate. If you want privacy to study, there is the library or lounges as well.</p>
<p>I understand all that your saying soozie…Im just extremely scared to leave my home, ive never been away from home, im an only child and my mom has taken good care of me … sighs … i know im 18 but, i dont feel like an “adult” im not, i like being a kid … maybe im saying nonsence but its true. in addition, all those kids walking around look so much older than me, and convinced and secure about what they want to do, i can see it in their walk and gestures… im just a kid still … i am scared…very i cant help myself really.</p>
<p>katecisco- I understand how you are feeling and two years ago when i was making my college decisions i chose to stay close to home after feeling fear and guilt about going away. I, too, am an only child and am very close to both of my parents. Staying close and not doing what I felt I was supposed to do was a huge mistake. Granted, I learned things about myself and what I wanted to do even more than I did in high school. But, what I’m trying to tell you is that you need to do what ‘you’ feel. You are not going to be able to live with your Mom forever and she knows that and went through the same thing herself. Of course, parents make jabs with underlying guilt to their kids about going away, but it is something you need to do and try and learn. If you do not do what you feel you need to do and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity in front of you, I have no doubt you will regret it. I am from FL and had a huge scholarship to Marymount Manhattan (I wasn’t doing MT for a college major at that time, I decided later) and I had always dreamed of getting away to NYC and meeting new people and forgetting the past of high school etc. I ended up staying close like I said out of fear of the unknown (I, personally, don’t know if I would’ve been ready to tackle the city then, but I know I am now, but regret never taking that chance, even though things are working out for me now the way I believe they were supposed to). But if what is holding you back is leaving home, it is hard for everyone, but it is part of life, and the longer you stay, the harder it will be. And the plus side for you is that your Mom isn’t too far away 
You can always go home for a weekend or a night, etc, and even bring all the new friends you will meet. MT kids quickly become a closeknit group and accepting of all, because you are all thrown into the mix together and it’s new for EVERYONE! Dorming can be tough, it was for me, and I just figured out that I am more of a person that needs alone time after being around everyone all day everyday, but you may get a roommate that you love and enjoy living with, talk to some of the MTs at Pace that are coming in as Freshman and maybe there is a girl there that you click with. I moved up to the city this summer for Circle in the Square summer program and was petrified about meeting friends even though I went up with a close friend. I ended up meeting 3 friends that I am so close with that it feels like I’ve known them my whole life and if I end up at NYU we have already planned to rent an apartment together. It is all a learning and growing process as everyone has told you, and these are moms who I am 100% sure are not loving having their kids away but know it is for their own good and part of life. I can’t convince you to go, but I think you know deep down you should face your fear and enjoy this amazing experience that is in front of you! Best of luck!</p>
<p>And on the subject of drugs, people coming over, etc. It happens at every school, I was at a conservative private college and saw everything. I didn’t take part in it b/c I am very into health and working out etc, especially for this industry. But if you have a receptive roommate you can discuss these things in advance. Being in a dorm people from your hall will pop in and out all the time if you are home and you all have become friends, etc. If you are not cool with having people just drop in and stay then discuss that with your roommate and nip it in the bud right away and things should be fine. If all else fails, live in a dorm BUT get a single room, it will probably be more expensive, but you will have your own space while still being surrounded by people to socialize. Just a thought.</p>
<p>When I read your post I knew exactly what you were feeling. I felt that way when I was your age. I did decide to go to community college for 2 years and then go to a 4 year school. I can’t tell you how much I loved being away from home – even though I missed my parents tremendously. My own daughter is up in NY this semester and we live in VA. She actually called last night and said she was feeling homesick (by the way for the first time this whole semester). However, even though she said this, and it is hard to have her away, I can tell you that she has never had such a wonderful experience in her life. As her mother, even though I miss her, I would rather her be there than here because when she usually calls (which is every day) she is loving it and having a great time and telling us of a new experience. I would not rather her sitting here with me. This is her time to grow! </p>
<p>As far as you are concerned, you will only be 1/2 hour away from home. As someone else said, you can still go home for dinner if you want, or spend a weekend at home whenever you want. You won’t be far from home. I think you will feel torn in the beginning, because you will feel like you should be home, but you will be loving school. This is the time for you to grow. If this is not about money (because that is a different issue) I say go for it – and let us know how it turns out! You’ll be okay!</p>
<p>Bird, I am really glad you chimed in as you are a student and your post is excellent!!</p>
<p>Katecisco, while my own girls were not worried as you appear to be or were not homesick at all, your feelings of being afraid to move to dorm living at college are ones that other 18 year olds also share and so you are not alone. It is fear of the unknown, and fear of being independent and not in the comfort of your mom’s home, and so on. Every freshman has to adjust and I am sure you will adjust. All are in the same boat. But this is what college is about…building independence, trying new experiences, making new friends, and so on. This is part of the college years, and not just what you learn in class. </p>
<p>I’m a mom. Yes, your mom is going to miss you but believe me, she will also adjust. It was hard for me when each of my girls left home but I felt I had to get used to it because I truly wanted them to fly and grow up and have these really wonderful new experiences in college. Sure, I miss them a lot. They are away all 12 months of the year. My oldest D left home on her 18th birthday and one started college at age 16 1/2. They have loved college from day one. And while I miss them, I get such joy knowing that they are having these experiences. We talk at least every other day and sometimes more and I enjoy hearing their great news. In your case, you will not even be far from home and your mom can come into the city to visit or you could stop home once in a while, but you will be moving onto the life you need to start and your mom will be happy for you even if it is sad for her at first. </p>
<p>College is sorta an intermediary step between living with your parent(s) and an adult life living independently and making a living. At some point, you will need to leave home. College is like “practice” toward a fully independent adult life. If money is not what is holding you back, I strongly encourage you to take this step, even if you feel scared at first. Yes, you will have to learn to live with others and so on. Some of it will be fun and some of it may challenge you but it is part of growing up and now is the time in your life to begin to spread your wings. You are 18!</p>
<p>okay, well I made a deposit, and my decision was to dorm. I figured, I can always come home whenever I want to, it will only be on days I have classes, and I can cancel dorming when I want to. Thanks everyone. …Does anyone here knows what laptop is best to get? MacBook? or HP?</p>