Should I even apply, and if so, to what schools?(I have no idea what I'm doing please help)

[vonlost]

my first picks were all the need-blind schools

Forget need-blind schools; NYU is need-blind but gives terrible aid. You need schools that meet full need, even if need-aware. Look at these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Need-blind_admission#U.S._institutions_that_are_need-blind_for_U.S._applicants_and_meet_full_demonstrated_need

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Need-blind_admission#U.S._institutions_that_are_not_need-blind_for_U.S._applicants_and_meet_full_demonstrated_need

Many meet full need for the few internationals they accept.