Should I go on birth control? Moms' perspective, please.

Parent Cafe
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<p>Okay…first off, this is not a sex thread. I decided a long time ago that I was going to wait until I got married. (Also, if this is inappropriate, mods, feel free to delete and I’m sorry! I just want some advice. :))</p>

<p>Anyway, here’s the situation: I’ve never had “easy” periods. I’ve always gotten bad cramps, and relatively light mood swings.</p>

<p>Lately, however, the cramps have been worse, and the light mood swings have turned into me being depressed and grumpy for the few days before my period. On the one hand, it’s almost a good thing because I know when to expect my period. OTOH, I don’t like the person I become.</p>

<p>I know my mother would allow me to go on birth control (my sister is on it right now…she has even worse periods than I do) and I’m pretty sure my insurance would cover it, but I don’t really know anything about side effects or which one to use (and I just switched doctors, so I’m not as comfortable talking to her about it). Any advice or experiences to share, moms?</p>

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<p>This is a decision best left to you & your doctor, but I will weigh in with my two cents. I had the same problem you have when I was your age. It was awful!! I went on birth control to regulate it, but I couldn’t stay on the pill. I had too many problems with it (but that was MANY years ago). I tried again maybe 16 years ago, but it still didn’t work out for me. Even with the lower doses of estrogen in the newer pills, I got migraines. Again, though, it was quite a few years ago. Not only have formulations changed, but you & I are not the same person. You may well never experience any problems. I do think it is important to point out what can happen, though, because it’s good to be aware of side effects some people experience.</p>

<p>If my own daughter asked me the question you asked, I would be supportive.</p>

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<p>I’m not a mom, but I’ve taken two types of birth control for acne: Yasmine and Orthotricycline (sp?). With both, I’ve experienced very dry mouth and lips, a desire to eat and drink all the time (weight gain), dry eyes and a lot of difficulty wearing contacts, and, at some point, a yellowing in the whites of my eyes which can be symptomatic of problems that could potentially be more serious. With Yasmine, the side effects were much more pronounced and the weight gain was significant, no effect on the acne. I stopped after two months because I couldn’t really do it anymore. Orthotricycline has helped acne after two months and the side effects were not as heavy, although they are still the same manifestations: dryness, hunger. </p>

<p>As for the cycle, yes, it is somewhat more predictable but I still get cramps and I would not say it has really affected my PMS symptoms. Of course I’m not a doctor, but I would say that a better bet would be to check out the source of your increased PMS symptoms before popping the pill, if you have no additional reason for taking the pill. The side effects are frustrating and I’m well aware of them: carry chapstick all the time, try not to give into the hunger, wear glasses and limit contacts, etc. As far as acne goes, Orthotricycline has been somewhat effective at curbing it. But I have always had very heavy periods and they are still very heavy even with the hormones. </p>

<p>As a young woman myself, I think girls are all too quick to start going on the Pill and medical staff aren’t helping by not being always up-front about the side effects. Really think about it. Thankfully, you can always go off it if you try it and find it’s not working for you.</p>

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<p>Talking with your present doctor or finding a new GYN one to talk with would be your best approach. I will share with you the story of a friend’s daughter. This young woman began experiencing very difficult periods while in high school–she had severe cramping, nausea and vomiting, and mood changes that had an effect on her life. This girl, like you, is very committed to waiting until marriage. Her doctor recommended that she go on birth control, but the girl hated the idea so much (was afraid people other girls would see her Rx and assume she was sexually active) that she refused. Fast forward now a couple years—symptoms continued to worsen and she finally went on birth control as a college freshman. It, for her, has made a world of difference–she no longer has to miss class every month, her mood is much more stable and she no longer has the premenstrual headaches. For her, it has been a good choice. But everyone is unique–talk openly with your medical provider and your mother before you make any decision.</p>

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<p>In high school and college, I took Provera for severe menstrual symptoms that were truly disabling for two days every month. Fortunately, these symptoms never returned after the birth of my eldest.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for the great advice :slight_smile: I’ll definitely talk with both my mom and my doctor, but I just wanted to get a general idea first.</p>

<p>Honestly, I’m more worried about the side effects…my friends all know I’m waiting until marriage, and I think they’d all know it’s just for the PMS. But I don’t know if I want to deal with the headaches, dry skin, etc.</p>

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<p>What if you asked the doctor what would be a reasonable time for a trial of the prescription? Maybe you won’t get the side-effects. Also, whenever there’s any new medicine, some people decide to put up with mild side-effects because they are helped very much with their main dilemma. </p>

<p>I also wouldn’t cross-think the issues between your thoughts about waiting until marriage with what will help you simply get through your next years more comfortably. In both situations, your body is your own and you’re in charge of your decisions always. Everything you’ve ever posted here has indicated you’re a thoughtful, determined person. I wouldn’t worry if what helps your cramps this year also happens to be something other women use to achieve for birth control. My guess is that for you, these will be two entirely separate decisions, each made in their own right time.</p>

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<p>talk to you doctor- some formulations of the pill are better for certain pms symptoms than others. I used to have really bad cramps until I went on the pill (like I would miss school/go home sick for a day or two each month), and they went away almost instantly. The only real side effect that I have had is slight weight gain— but I also started college at the same time, so I’m not sure exactly if it was the fault of the pill. It might take several different brands before you get the right pill for you.</p>

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<p>HGFM - my heart goes out to you because I think this is a more difficult decision than many make it out to be. The first thing I’d offer is ‘you’ won’t be the one to make the decision. It should be between you and your doctor after your doctor has a complete history of all family female issues. Some girls go into the doctor expecting an easy script written, then the doctor discovers something in the family history that contradicts the taking of hormones. However, since your sister is on them, it’s probably not an issue as I’m assuming she also had a complete exam and family history taken.</p>

<p>As a mom, I will say that I wish my daughters didn’t get the relief that they do from being on the pill because then it would be easy to tell them to discontinue it. It seems like every few months I hear very scary stories of very young women having strokes and heart attacks that are life-threatening. I don’t know how many of them are using it for birth control and how many are using it for symptom relief, but I just wish there were other more effective ways to regulate periods (D2 had seven periods between October and January), provide relief from cramps, etc. </p>

<p>I admire your personal convictions and understand your fear of people assuming you’re sexually active. I’m sure people think I’m naive when I say my daughter is not sexually active, but is on the pill. But, she out and right told me the day she went for her exam that the nurse didn’t require a pap smear (did require the pelvic exam) since she is not sexually active. Also, she told her she could start the pill that same day (instead of waiting until a certain day in her cycle) since she wasn’t using it for birth control. It’s not like I knew the nurse would handle the exam and prescription this way, so my D had no reason to tell me.</p>

<p>My Ds had immediate relief, and D1 had some additional improvement with her skin (she uses prescription topicals to control her acne - which is basically non-existent now). D2 never really had skin issues. D1 did have to switch from one pill to another when her blood pressure creeped up a bit, which is why it’s so imperative that you follow up with your health care professional once you are on it. </p>

<p>The scary stories I’ve heard about are not in the majority at all. It’s kind of like childbirth (you’ll learn this someday) - when you’re pregnant, you seem to hear all the horror stories of everything that can go wrong, but you never hear about all the thousands of completely normal, uncomplicated births. I’m sure that’s how it is with the pill - there are horror stories, but for every horror story, there are thousands of women who use it with no problem. </p>

<p>A simple approach you might take is, “I’ll give it a try for a couple of months, and if I experience negative side effects that outweight the benefits, I’ll discontinue it.” </p>

<p>Good luck, and keep us updated (you always do!).</p>

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<p>Wow, teriwtt…what a great post! :slight_smile: Thank you for the advice.</p>

<p>I definitely want to talk to my mom about it before I make an appointment. I know I could go to my doctor and get it on my own, but I just wouldn’t feel right. Plus, my mom might be able to suggest another path.</p>

<p>I’ll keep you all updated on how it turns out. :)</p>

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<p>just a bit of alternative that you could try while you wait/decide, suggesting only because I was one the could not tolerate BC pills, did get cramping relief but the depression was much more intense. I found TREMENDOUS symptom relief, mood/cramping from Omega 3 fish oils. One cycle alone and complete relief. No side effects. My D has also found complete relief of her PMS with the fish oils as well. Hair/skin improvements from it as well. A safe cheap alternative to try.</p>

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<p>I would advise you to try natural remedies before going on the pill, a la CBk and Teri I have concerns about the pill.</p>

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<p>HGFM - I think you’re on the right path, lots of talking and researching without making an impulsive decision based on a bad cramp day.</p>

<p>However, one other thing you might take into consideration is where do you want to take care of this. When D2 was home at Thanksgiving and Christmas, she expressed some unhappiness with what was going on. I asked her if she wanted to schedule an appt. with our doctor while at home. She put it on the back burner and by the time that 7th period came two weeks after returning to school in January, she then didn’t have the choice to visit our own doctor since she’s hundreds of miles away. Thankfully, the nurse practitioner that serves the students on campus for gyne needs ended up being very thorough and caring, but she was kind of locked into one place and one person once she got back to school. I’d begin this conversation with your mom and/or doctor sooner rather than later so that you can have some sort of resolution before you leave for school. Also realize you’ll need to either follow up at home or at school within three months or so (depending on the health care professional).</p>

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<p>Just talked to my mom.</p>

<p>Apparently, my sister had to stop taking th BC because she got VERY bad side effects. My mom said she’s never been able to handle BC either.</p>

<p>I don’t think I’ll go with BC, since none of the other women in my family have been able to use it with good results, but maybe I will try the Fish Oils. Thanks for all your advice! :)</p>

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<p>I’ve had good luck with it so far even though all the women on both sides of my family had problems with it. Yaz seems to work really well for most girls I know (helped with cramps, pms, acne). You could always see a doctor (tell her EVERYTHING and maybe even mention the problem family members had with it) and get a 1 month sample of the pill and see how the side effects go because there might be a kind that works for you.</p>

<p>You really should see a doctor about this because my brother’s ex-wife had problems with her period and it turned out to be a problem that required surgery.</p>

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<p>[Fish</a> oil and PMS and Menstrual Cramps | WeeksMD](<a href=“http://weeksmd.com/?p=474]Fish”>http://weeksmd.com/?p=474)</p>

<p>here is a non commercial website about pms/mood/omega 3 fish oil and the how and whys it should help.</p>

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<p>HGFM–if some of the side effects your family had were nausea (not sure?) then that can be greatly alleviated by taking the pill at night…</p>

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<p>HGFM, Doctor Mom here, trying the fish oil is fine, if it relieves your symptoms that is great. But, please discuss the symptoms with your doctor or NP next time you visit - we on the internet are not a substitute for that and we can’t test for anemia or exclude endometriosis.
If you symptoms don’t improve - definitely go to the doctor. You sister and mother’s experience may not be yours, the pills vary too much and act differently on different people. You may have a totally different reaction to the hormones. Often it is a matter of what is the most annoying symptom - headaches may appear or get worse, but the bleeding is so much less that it is worth treating the headaches, for example.
Good luck to you.</p>

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<p>cangel has written my thoughts exactly. </p>

<p>The other thing I would recommend is a B complex vitamin. B vitamins are important in controlling stress. </p>

<p>Because of the experience of someone I know very well I’m a firm believer that women of childbearing age should take B vitamins, even if they don’t plan on becoming pregnant or having sex. At least one deadly and heartbreaking birth defect is related to a lack of folic acid and can be easily prevented by B vitamins. Accidental pregnancies do happen.</p>

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<p>HisGraceFillsMe - </p>

<p>Please go see a gynecologist (female) or a CRNP associated with one.<br>
There is absolutely NO reason for you to suffer through disabling periods every month. There IS health care available for you.</p>

<p>Just because none of the women in your family could “tolerate” the pill does not mean you have to suffer.
There are many medicines out there today to help women and girls like you in your situation. “Birth control” is one such medicine. It is a medicine that can be used safely and effectively to help women. There are other hormonal medicines that can help you as well.
Forget about the stigma of “if I am using birth control pills, then I must be having sex” - think of it as a medicine to help a medical condition.
Weigh the risks and benefits. There is a health risk to having long and heavy periods - it is anemia. You might even have endometriosis - a condition that can impact your future fertility.
Please do not think you have to learn to live this way.</p>

<p>I know one teenager who got a very painful ovarian cyst. Caused by ovulation - being on the pill has prevented this from recurring and allowed her to lead a normal life. I know another who had periods that lasted weeks - hormonal therapy has helped her live a normal active life.
I could go on and on.
Please see a GYN. There are gyn’s who even specialize in adolescents.
This is health care. It is not about sex, pre-maritial sex or a personal belief that birth control is immoral.</p>