This is my first time here, as I’m trying to get as much advice as I can. I will try to cut it short but I want to explain myself first.
So, I’m currently a senior in high school at NC, and I’m currently going though college applications as I speak. However, I’m generally clueless about what I should do after graduation.
I am expected to go to college. I’ve always made good grades so I already have a ton of pressure on me, though I can’t really say if I want to or not. I’d be a first-generation college student from my family, especially as a woman. I don’t know what to pursue for my career and future. I know that’s expected of high school students, however, I have a few other barriers. So, I currently have depression, however, I did not inform any family members about it because I had doubts that they would understand and interrogate me, so I just held off on my own. However, because of this, I lost motivation for…well everything besides school work I suppose. I have no aspirations, or goals, lost interest in hobbies, etc. I never planned to last after graduation in the first place. Not to mention I developed social anxiety over the years so I severely lack social skills and relationships honestly; the thought of college dorm mates daunts me severely and I really don’t think I could handle the sudden change.
I recently considered community college as perhaps it would it would be a better change of pace. Getting higher education, being able to branch out and focus on bettering myself without worry, being near home, and being less expensive. I plan to transfer to a 4-year college afterward. However, my family is questioning it and I wonder if it’s a good idea. I’m well aware I can earn college scholarships, but I haven’t really been interested in ANY colleges because of my doubts. I could care less about having a college experience rather than being able to actually afford a living.
Or perhaps I’m overthinking it all as I have a tendency to do that. I’m just trying to think things more logically. Go to a 4-year college in my current state, highly risk burnout from depression and going into debt without having any idea for a future, or go to CC and take classes within the comforts of my home and work on my mental health so I can mentally prepare myself later without going into huge debt.
I’m unsure. Any advice is welcome. I’m curious to hear about your experiences as well.
Is there any regional 4 years college in your area? you can stay home and commute to a 4 years college. Since you don’t care about college experience, you can get a bachelor degree and keep COA low this way. In CA, we have CSUs besides UCs. I commuted to a CSU and got my CS degree there. Now I am working in IT at Silicon Valley just like others graduated from UCs and Stanford. Good Luck.
My first reaction in reading your post is that life is not a race. You do not need to go to university or college right after graduating from high school. I have known a few people who took a year or two off, and in most (if not all) cases they had gained significant maturity in their year or two when they were not studying. They seemed to have a better idea what they wanted to study and why they were in university.
Whether university is needed for a career is going to depend upon what career you end up focusing on. There are some careers that require university education, and some that do not. As examples, I know people who are or were a nurse, middle school teacher, university professor, acoustics engineer, doctor, lawyer, and I know a lot of software engineers. University is needed for these careers. However I also know a couple of plumbers and an electrician. University is not needed for these careers. One daughter is studying to become a veterinarian (in her case basically a medical doctor for large animals, particularly cattle and horses although she has also treated a wide range of other large animals). My other daughter wants to do medical research. Again university is needed for these potential careers. There are large number of other careers for which university is not needed.
I have referred to university as a half way house between high school and a career. University is full of students who are young, and who are on their own for the first time. There is some support available, such as adults to talk to if you are having problems. Things are set up to be relatively safe for relatively young students. However, if you put a bunch of 18 year olds in a dorm together, there will be some who stay up late, some who party and do not keep up with their class work, and even some who somehow get access to alcohol and drink. This tends to get better after the first year. Students who did not pay attention to their classwork during the first year either learn quickly to be more responsible or end up dropping out.
I do know some people who were able to live at home while they attended university. This is a reasonable option for some students. Whether you can do this will depend upon what universities are nearby.
When my youngest was a junior in high school, she came to me a bit sad and said that she had no idea what she wanted to do for a living, whereas most of her friends did know what major they wanted in university and what career they wanted. I said yes this is true, but in six months they will have changed their mind, and then when they get to university in 1 1/2 years most of them will change their mind again. If you do not currently know what you want, this probably just means that you are being realistic. This particular daughter went off to university as a languages major. However, she got permission to take first year biology for biology majors (which is more difficult compared to biology for non-biology majors). After a year she decided to change her major to biology. This required that sophomore year she needed to take four lab courses at once. Normally this would be thought of as almost insane – four lab courses at once is a lot. However, she discovered that she loved lab work and is very good at it. She spent as much time as she could for the rest of university in a lab, and after graduation got a lab job (first working on cancer research, and then sickle cell disease research, and then more cancer research). She is currently getting her PhD in a biomedical field at a very good university. This is an example of someone who while in university was exposed to career options that she had not previously been aware of, and found one that she really liked.
This sort of discovery of interests, including the change in major after one year, is very common at least in the US (and Canada) after students get to university.
One friend of a daughter was a very strong student, but had divorced parents one of whom was unemployed (and unemployable) and one of whom had a small business which was struggling. This friend went to community college for two years and did very well. Then she transferred to a local in-state public university with a large merit based scholarship and continued to do very well. I happened run into her (and her boyfriend) at a store near my house one month before she graduated from university. She had done very well with strong grades, had a pragmatic business-related major, and had gotten a very economical education. The entire time she had lived at her father’s home to save money.
And the last thing that I can think of to mention is that if you do apply to and get accepted to universities, you do not actually have to go to any of them. Often they will let you defer your start for a year if you ask, or you could just say no to all of them and apply again in a year or two.
At this point by the way the majority of university students are women. For some reason boys / men are not doing as well in our education system right now, and are significantly less likely to make it to university. I do not know quite what the reasons are for this, and have not seen an explanation that sounds fully plausible.
A university professor who I know told me once that of the smartest and academically strongest students who he has taught, he thinks that all of them at some point have dealt with some amount of depression. This is very common.
Our medical profession has gotten quite good at dealing with depression. It would be worth talking to someone about this. A school nurse for example might be able to help a bit and refer you to someone who can help more. A psychologist or psychiatrist is more likely to be able to help. I do know some people who have dealt with some degree of depression, ranging from mild to pretty severe, but who have gotten help and who are doing very well right now, and are also quite a bit happier with some treatment.
It will most likely be a good idea to get your depression under control before you start university.
One plus of university for very smart students: There are simply a higher percentage of very smart people at universities. This means that people who are “like you” are way more common. They might dress differently or be from a different culture or look different or have English as their second or third language. However, they will care about education and be smart, which for some of us is what matters and what makes a person easy to relate to. As one wild example of this, in my first week of university I met someone who was from the opposite side of the world from me (she had grown up more than 13,000 kilometers from where I grew up) but she had raced the same class of sailboat that I had raced in high school, and she ended up graduating from MIT the same day that I did with the same degree in the same major. Were we opposite people or very similar? I will claim that the similarities are more important than the differences.
There is no hurry here. You do not have to start university this coming September. The universities and colleges will still be there in September of 2026 and September of 2027, and for many years after that.
In most cases there is nothing wrong with starting at cc. It can be a great stepping stone to see how things go for you at minimal cost. Downsides may include not being eligible for freshman scholarships at a 4 year, or if you were pursuing med school, cc classes might not count. But otherwise it can be a great fit for someone in your position.
Community college is a terrific place to start. That’s where my daughter opted to go to save money. First, I would recommend getting treatment for the depression before you start college. Otherwise you run the risk of burning out before you have a chance to establish yourself. I promise, the treatment can make a world of difference.
So glad you’re aware of your depression. I would have a sit down with your parent’s and talk about seeking help. If your able to start treatment soon you should be ready for the fall. But what to do? I would go ahead and apply to college. But you have the CC as your backup. I stayed home and went to a CC my first year then went to the local regional commuter 4 year. I didn’t have the money to go away.
“I never planned to last after graduation in the first place” .
This is an important statement you wrote. Talk with your parent’s, teacher, adult you trust.