I am a senior girl, I have never had a boyfriend, and never even been asked on a date. I have never done drugs, or alcohol, and I don’t hang out with the popular athletic kids. Though it seems that a lot of kids are nice to me, nobody goes out of their way to talk to me, in fact some days I can go a whole day without having anyone say anything to me. I try to involve myself and I ALWAYS end up starting small conversations but people usually brush me off. My mom told me she wants to take me prom dress shopping but I am not sure I want to go. All my friends have dates, and there are no boys I could ask without having to join their friend group, or make them feel awkward with my small group of not so close friends. Last year I ended up taking pictures by myself and with my dog. My dad bought me a corsage, it was very sad. I do not want to go through the same thing, and cannot simply force myself to ask someone who typically would’nt talk to me. What are your thoughts? Have any of your kids been in this situation. I don’t want to hear the "right person will come along someday, just wait"because I’ve went all through high school without a date and I go to a large school 1500+ kids.
I have a daughter in a similar situation. She’s anxious about prom and what to do. It’s unlikely she will have a date and most kids will. She may have some friends to go with or be welcomed into a group where she can be a third wheel. She hasn’t decided one way or the other - it’s still early. My advice to her is to go if she feels comfortable and if she wants to. I know prom is a milestone but I don’t think it’s worth forcing it and feeling miserable just to say you went. If she doesn’t go, I will probably plan a fun weekend away for our family.
Hang in there - these things seem so significant now but in the grand scheme of your life are unimportant.
I did not go to Prom, and have never regretted it. In fact, I have hardly ever even thought of it.
Got girl friends to go with? Or friends who have invited you to go with them even though you don’t
have a date per se? If so, go ahead and attend.
I don’t know how it is where you are but my D attended prom in a very loose group of girl friends and had a great time.
(And I know you said "you don’t want to hear “the right person will come along some day” but I’m going to say it anyway. HS students are not representative of who you will meet in the future. Even a few years will make a huge difference. )
Apparently girls just go with girlfriends now and no one cares.
If not don’t waste money on a prom dress. Go college shopping instead. Or have a spa day with your mom
Or go to a really fancy restaurant with your parents. Or sign up for a sailing class or something that you always wanted to do. A show in the city.
How involved are the prom activities? My kids school dose a dusk till dawn event. Completely chaperoned. Starts with dinner and ends with midnight cruise. So even kids without dates go. They hang out in their friends groups. It’s one big party. Very inclusive. You’ll need to figure out what’s most comfortable for you. Good luck.
Probably many girls and boys will go alone.
My son was not sure whether or not to go to the prom, I told him to go, he had nothing to lose more than a couple of hours.
He really enjoyed the party.
He was alone, and was the first time he went to a party.
Good luck.
It’s probably not worth agonizing over. Many people have led full and complete lives without going to prom, including me. I think my daughter went to hers but I know my son did not. Don’t make yourself upset about it. If you go it will be okay and if you don’t it will also be okay.
It sounds like you’d be uncomfortable going. I was uncomfortable at my prom and wish I’d skipped it. The good news is that when you’re in college you’ll probably be surrounded by a lot more people you’re more compatible with.
Prom isint that important just keep grinding focus on making it out to being rich
I never went to my high school senior prom and never regretted it. (And I had a boyfriend at the time – I don’t remember what we did do, but the whole prom concept really wasn’t our thing)
So bottom line: if you want to go but feel embarrassed about going alone, don’t be – a lot of kids go without dates.
But if you don’t want to go… then don’t.
The key is whether you think attending prom would be fun. If not, then there would be no point in going.
I wouldn’t bother. I went to several proms and never thought they were fun. If you are not expecting it to be fun, why put yourself through it? It is an expensive way to feel bored or awkward! I prefer my boredom and awkwardness not to cost a thing. 
I understand your feelings. I was very similar in HS. I had 3 friends, two of whom outright refused to go to prom. I went to my prom with the third girlfriend at a time when going stag or with a same sex friend was frowned upon and I was miserable. I wish I had stayed home. That was so long ago that the first two songs that were played by the DJ were “Kodachrome” by Paul Simon and “Ridin’ that Train, High on Cocaine” by Eric Clapton, but I still remember and can conjure up the feelings of awfulness when a slow dance came on (“Colour my World” by Chicago STILL gets turned off on my radio when it plays). My mother bought me a corsage that I hid in the bushes outside my apartment building and retrieved when I got home.
I have five kids. The oldest and third boys opted not to go to the prom. My second son went with a group of four guy friends and the youngest went with a guy friend who had graduated the year before because the only girl he wanted to go with was a freshman and H and I refused to allow him to ask her. My D went to her junior prom with her then bf, a senior, and went to his prom with him. Her senior year, she went with her two best girlfriends since first grade. She had a better time at her own prom. Youngest son did go to the junior prom with a girl he had asked two months earlier; by the time the party came around, he could barely stand her.
In my town, prom is a big deal but when my third son didn’t want to go, he had a couple of friends in the same boat. One of the other moms had a BBQ and it was great. H and I were there and the two boys had their group of friends, most of whom were not in the same class at school so wouldn’t have been at prom.
Bottom line - if you don’t want to go, don’t. Plan a special evening. Personally, the thought of a spa day nauseates me but if it’s your thing, the suggestion of going with your mom is a nice one. Or go out to dinner with your family and see a show. Splurge the money you’d have spent on the ticket, dress, shoes, hair, make up,l limo, etc. and do something special.
It depends on your school culture.
At some schools it’s quite common for a group of friends to go to prom together, with most of them not in couples with any particular partner. If this is true at your school and if there’s a group you would be comfortable with, you would probably have a good time.
At other schools, you really have to have a date for prom, and this can be awkward for people who don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend. People end up asking people they don’t know really well, and it often leads to a very long, very expensive night of not having much fun.
I went to my own prom with someone I didn’t particularly like who asked me simply because (1) he felt obligated to go because he was on the prom committee, and (2) he knew I wasn’t dating anyone. We spent a lot of money and had a miserable time that seemed to last forever.
I should have gone to the movies with my sister instead.
My son chose not to go to his. He wasn’t dating anyone, and none of his friends were going.
My daughter went to her Junior prom, after a huge amount of drama over her dress looking too similar to a friend’s. (She actually lost a “good” friend" as a result.) She said after the fact that she was sorry she went… it was such a non-event. My reaction was that, had she not gone, she would have beaten herself up over missing it.
She’s planning to go to the Senior prom, probably with one of a couple of guy friends.
Is there somebody outside of your school that you would be comfortable inviting? if you don’t go, there is a sense of missing out . . .
Lots of guys have no interest in going to senior prom. My S didn’t, nor did most of his friends. Some of them had actually attended earlier proms, when asked by older girls.
I think the whole prom thing has become completely overblown; like the wedding industrial complex, there is now a prom industrial complex. Expensive dresses, dinners, limos, flowers, professional hair and makeup: totally over the top.
As Marian says, it depends a lot on your school culture. If a lot of people go in friend groups, and you actually WANT to go, feel out out whether you can join a friend group. You say that “all” of your friends have dates–are you sure of that?-- but apparently there are boys you COULD ask but you assume that it would be uncomfortable to either join their friend group or have them join yours. Why? Be sure you are not projecting your own potential discomfort.
If you can’t make plans that you can look forward to as a pleasant evening–not an earth-shattering experience, just pleasant fun–then I’d say tell your parents you don’t want to go and move on.
Both my daughters went in all girl friend groups (one girl’s boyfriend was in the mix senior year) which was not uncommon in their HS. They had fun doing hair and makeup and taking pictures together. The event itself, was kind of meh, they reported.
If going in a friend group is not a possibility, just tell your mom you would rather see a movie or a show or stay home.
As a mom, I needed to learn to back off on asking my kids to do what I thought was the ideal HS experience. You choose your own path.
My oldest daughter never dated in high school. She had a large group of friends who were going to prom together (all girls) and she kinda wanted to go and kinda didn’t. She really wanted to do the get dressed up and do a photo shoot with friends and go to dinner together but not the dance so in the end that is exactly what she did. She bought a gorgeous dress at the thrift store ($17), did her own hair and makeup (also gorgeous), and joined her friends for all the pre-dance stuff. She was home by 11:00pm very happy with her experience.
Daughter two wanted to go but was in closer to your situation OP, her friends were going as couples, she asked one guy and got turned down. In the end she also bought a dress, daughter one did her hair and makeup and then her own, DH and I dressed up as well and drove them into DC where we took tons of awesome photos at all the scenic spots and then did a fancy restaurant dinner together. It wasn’t the prom of her dreams but it was an awesome family memory and we got incredible photos.
By the way, daughter one, is now at college and complains regularly about all the guys asking her out.
Life is not all high school, thank God.
Agree about asking a friend. Maybe from church or synagogue.