<p>Answer to original post.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>(the difference between a surgeon and a clin psychologist 
)</p>
<p>Re scheduling a funeral for someone’s convenience, my mother-in-law scheduled her daughter’s wedding three days after my due date – I got pregnant before she got engaged – and then spent months asking me if my doctor had changed my due date yet. When I showed up at the rehearsal dinner, a day or two after the due date and miserably big as a house, she said, “I’m so glad you’re here” and, believe me, I seriously fantasized about throwing my drink in her face. The day after the wedding, which I made it to, she called and told us it had better be a girl (we didn’t know what we were having) because she was leaving for a six-week cruise at the end of the week and wouldn’t be able to make the bris if it was a boy. I agree that there needs to be a “Can you top this?” thread.</p>
<p>You should have given birth at the wedding, mimk6.</p>
<p>mimk6 - did you have a boy or a girl? I’m dying to know.</p>
<p>Just a thought, as I reread this… is it possible that
was attributed to the bride but maybe wasn’t said by the bride? Is it possible your sister or someone else feels this way? Just wondered. Its hard to know who to trust in this communication quagmire…</p>
<p>
It is 100% possible. My sister is big on images, too, so it could have come from her. We grew up without any grandparents, so I was always grateful that my kids had some, and I refuse to believe that most people would pass judgment on an obviously ill and frail octogenarian. At my daughter’s graduation, the sentiment was “how fortunate that your mother was able to share this day.”</p>
<p>^^
Dougbetsy, I had a girl. My first child was a boy, this was her second grandchild, first granddaughter. My hospital roommate had given birth to the first girl in generations and her side of the room was like a floral shop. My MIL arrived to visit her first granddaughter (and she had just thrown a very expensive wedding) bearing flowers from the reception, now four days old. She said, “Do these look familiar?” She also brought a golf ball for my two-year-old, presumably so he could break a window or his sister’s skull. After she left, I dumped everything in the trash. She made one more appearance before her cruise at our home. She looked at the dirty dishes in the sink and then launched into a long story about how her mother never came over without cleaning the whole place, knowing I no longer had a mother to help. Then she said, “But, that’s not me.” and flounced out to her cruise. I burst into postpartum tears.</p>
<p>mimk6-
You really need to post these gems (please) in the “folks from another planet” thread that HiMom started.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Where’s that golf ball when you need it? :D</p>
<p>Oh, mimk, your post made me laugh and ticked me off.</p>
<p>greyhaired, lmao!</p>
<p>I agree that your sister could be putting a spin on things. It took me a long time for me to realize my mom does the same thing – putting stuff on dad, making him the heavy, when it was really her. Grrr.</p>
<p>LOL slithey tove <<<rim shot=“”>>></rim></p>
<p>I’m thinking that zoosermom needs to keep some golf balls around.</p>
<p>D1’s high school graduation is next week. We received a letter telling us about what we can’t bring. No surprise to see silly string, beach balls, balloons…but they ALSO listed golf balls. “Who the heck brings golf balls to a graduation”, I asked myself, “and what do they do with them?”</p>
<p>Now I know. 
:D</p>
<p>Absolutely do not go if you don’t want to go. Just send a card. These are not command performances. </p>
<p>Zooser, we have a large family and we really get along well and like each other a lot and help each other as much as possible, and I’ve never felt any resentment, BUT… We do not invite each other to a lot of functions. In fact it is very rare we invite each other, and we thank each other for that. The older generation is getting up there in age and they don’t want to sit through a lot of functions and fuss. They only want private visits really. This year there were 6 high school graduations and a middle school grad, and let me tell you, no one wanted to go to all six. We swapped announcements so they could go in the scrap books and sent cards but we didn’t even exchange gifts as it would have been crazy. Oh, and we had a confirmation as well and we have some very staunch catholics. It’s all we can do to make the funerals these days. The weddings, yes, we’ll make if invited, but no hurt feelings if we aren’t. We just care about each other and don’t take social umbrage. Sweet 16s? Forget about those sort of things. We swap pictures. And this is a family where we all really like each other. </p>
<p>My nephew is going to school local to us and he and his family have been told that our home is open t them anytime and the student can take my rising freshman’s room any time as he is going to be out of town. If he needs a ride or anything, I want it clear that the young man will be at the top of my list along with my kids in terms of helping him out. But we don’t take part in his life much, nor does his family take part in ours. We have too many kids and so does that side of the family. My childless brother and his wife are downright grateful that we don’t care if they come to things or not and rarely invite them. If we didn’t care of any member of the family, you would not be able to tell because we would not be treating them any differently. The only one who gets upset is my MIL who thinks she is the center of the universe, and she’s goofy anyways. My mother was pinch faced about going to the 2 graduations of her grandsons this past month, ha ha, and would have loved to have opted out. We pretty much made her go. </p>
<p>So if you don’t want to go, just send a luscious card and leave it at that. If you want to show up, then understand that you are not one of the prized guests and don’t expect to be treated as such. In a case like that , I would only go to accompany the grandmom who should be in on the family pictures and events if that is the case. There is no reason to make your own life miserable. Weddings are supposed to be happy events. The only weddings I attend under duress are those with business implication since our daily bread might depend on the good will we show.</p>
<p>
I laughed so hard at this that my cubicle neighbor came over to see what was up.</p>
<p>You can bring golf balls to replace the rice.</p>
<p>The turn in this thread has totally brightened my day! :D</p>
<p>
^ and that too, youdontsay, is the difference between a clinical psychologist and a surgeon :D</p>
<p>^^ lol!!!</p>
<p>:) :)</p>
<p>ZM- you don’t to give her the recipe, with the obviously FABulous life she will be having, ‘the help’ will make all the food anyway</p>