Should I include a little jargon in my college admissions essay?

Can I include jargon in the beginning of my essay.

“Epoch 5/5
200/201 [============================>.] - ETA: 2s - loss: 0.2411 - accuracy: 0.9174”
I hold my breath as the progress bar inches towards completion. Mental fatigue from hours of coding gets replaced by my bubbling excitement at the performance of my deep learning model.

I need a second opinion on whether I should include this in the intro to my essay.

I don’t know the answer to this, but in general, you shouldn’t post any excerpt from your essay on a public forum. There are experienced adults on this forum who are generally willing to help, but they will offer to discuss your essay via private message.


Agree with the first poster. It’s your essay. Until it’s not and you are accused of plagiarism. So I would not use it now that you listed it.

However, I would say whatever you want to add to your essay is fair game. It’s your essay. If it helps you convey your story, your message then fine.

In this case, I have no idea what that first line means. Will the essay reader ?

My opinion…you should not use jargon or abbreviations in essays. Remember, the person reading your essay might not be familiar with your jargon.


I have no idea what those first two lines mean. I guess it has something to do with coding based on your next two sentences. You can’t assume that your essay reader will be familiar with this. How do those two cryptic lines add to your essay?

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No worries. Nobody is going to plagiarize this. Usually, unless the plagiarist only has 3 brain cells to rub together, they will only steal a good essay. This is not a good opener.


I would slightly change it since you listed it here but I assume the essay itself will describe what those numbers mean. The word limit is so tight though - do you need all of that? Why not start with text and refer to one of the numbers.

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Ha Ha!!

I know what you are referencing in general. My S ( MSCS) read and knew exactly what you were referring to. I doubt any admissions reader would understand the significance. You should consider capturing the excitement and apprehension in using more approachable language.


OP: just edit your post to remove the essay detail. I echo rivet2000’s advice to make the language more approachable. Good luck.

Plain English… If we can’t figure it out doubt an avg reader would. Also don’t make it to technical. Your impressing nobody with this jargon.

I think it’s ok to include jargon as long as you are clear what the jargon is referring to. It’s a narrative style that could work if it’s done well. But don’t forget that you have limited word count and that line takes up valuable space. If it looks like you’re including it for the word count or if it takes space away from stuff that better shows who you are as a person and applicant, it shouldn’t be in there.

If you do want to keep the jargon, I wouldn’t start out with it. Establish first that you are looking at a computer in anticipation.

I’m not an admission officer so take that for what it’s worth.

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Totally incomprehensible to me, although I presumed that it had something to do with coding. The people who are reading your essay are very unlikely to have experience coding. I would not do it. It’s an inside reference that will go right past those you are trying to persuade to admit you.

Jargon: special words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group and are difficult for others to understand.

Intentionally including material that is difficult to understand usually isn’t a good strategy.

The only way I would think to include something like this is if you intend to spend significant time explaining it, using it as a key hook to the story.

“You better not never tell nobody but God” isn’t a model of clarity, but The Color Purple pulled it off as a beginning. (Then again, you are probably not Alice Walker.)

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What is your purpose in using this introduction ?

Coding jargon may be exciting to you and may grab your attention, but it is disorienting for most readers.

In my opinion, this opening is not enough to intrigue, interest, or excite most readers.

Can it work ? Can such an opening be effective at drawing in readers’ attention ? While possible, it does not seem likely.

Write out your entire essay, then ask an English teacher at your school for an opinion / critique of your essay.