<p>Tread lightly. I had a friend of my mom, and several of her neighbors contacting me telling me they were concerned about her, did we realize what shape she was in living in a 4 story townhouse alone? I have 3 siblings in town and I talk to her twice a day, she comes and stays with me for weeks at a time several times a year, etc. She’s stubborn and refuses to do anything to help herself. Everyone else around thinks we’re being terrible. There’s more to the story than they know. But she plays up the old lady card, calls all sorts of neighbors to help her manage the place we’ve all told her to sell, and honestly it really made my one sister furious who is there many times a week, always having her over, going out with her a lot, etc. These people didn’t know what they were talking about. And my mom is not easy, she’s so demanding it can wear you out. </p>
<p>But she’ll be all sweet and helpless to the neighbors and minimize all the help she really gets from all of us. When she needs her groceries carried upstairs she’ll call a neighbor and just say her kids are so busy with their lives we don’t have time for her. Instead of just waiting til someone can get over there in the next day or two.</p>
<p>I think the cousins would be very resentful of the letter. They obviously know how old their father is and have chosen the relationship they have with him for a reason.</p>