<p>What do you have to lose? A relationship with the cousins and an ability to work with them when and if the time comes when uncle really needs help.</p>
<p>My DH terribly neglected his mother for years. He had very little to do with her. And anyone with any suggestions about the situation was cut off immediately and my MIL got the brunt of it if he suspected even the least that she contributed to the interference from outsiders. The situation was complicated, more so than those not directly involved could understand. It wasn’t until it was very clear that she was at the brink of social services intervening that I finally was able to take things in hand. He still hates doing anything with his mother. And anyone from the outside with any suggestions is going ot be shut off. </p>
<p>My dear friend was asked to stop calling and visiting her aunt in the same situation. The cousins were not interested in outsiders, defined as anyone outside of themselves invovled in their mother’s life. When push comes to shove, and it can come to that very quickly, you will be out if you cross your cousins unless there is clear need for intervention to the point that the aurhorities can intervene, unless your uncle is truly strong enough, able and willing to stand up for you and his relationship with you. That rarely happens. My MIL would never side with anyone against her son, even if it were a black and white situation. what happens in these cases is that the “interfering” person is kicked out of the picture, old wo/man is punished for the interference, and feelings are worse than ever.</p>