<p>I let my DD go with her BF to Paris…but we were living in Germany and his Stepdad and brother were there too. BF and DD were in the same grade and this was Spring break of her Senior year. Most of the other seniors were planning to go to Spain unchaperoned after Graduation. I said no to that.</p>
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Of course they are having sex after being together for a year. Let her go on the trip.
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<p>Very likely true. So, the mom should be making sure her D is using protection whether or not she goes on this trip. The statement that the boyfriend would never put the D in a “dangerous situation” would be something that I wouldn’t really trust in regards to sex. </p>
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<p>Not sure about that as many female HS classmates or college first-years were dating men with much bigger age gaps. One notable case was a HS classmate who upon graduating HS and starting her first year was dating a 29 year old man. One younger female friend who is now 20 is dating a man who is in his early 30s. Personally, I don’t see the appeal in dating THAT young, but it is far from an isolated phenomenon. </p>
<p>Most common thing I kept hearing from female friends is that this phenomenon is because women mature at a greater rate than males. I may be biased…but I am a bit skeptical about that…:D</p>
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<p>It’s a 3 year age gap and a 20 year old dating a 17 year old isn’t all that unusual (being together for over a year). There is no mention of how they met- perhaps he was older for his grade and she younger for hers (I’m just throwing out a possibility). My friends were always much older than myself because I just never got along well with people my age. A three year gap is minuscule especially considering the stereotype that women mature faster than men. </p>
<p>When I was a soph in college, I started dating a 1st year grad student. When young people are at similar stages of life, I think the differences shrink. When one is in HS and the other in college or career, it seems there is a bigger gap, regardless of chronological ages. Also, if one is a student and the other a working professional, again, to me, that’s a huge gap. </p>
<p>Once everyone is in the pro/working world, chronological ages again shrink in importance and significance, to me. </p>
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<p>This could vary depending on types of jobs/working hours and how well the couple handles them as individuals. </p>
<p>For instance, one holding a 9-5 or part-time job versus someone holding an 60-80+ hour workweek job with possible demands to work late/weekends. </p>
<p>Age gaps could also be aggravated by perceived status differences of the jobs concerned. Just tossing out two issues which when combined with age differences produced much relationship drama/conflicts with previous dates or friends who were in LTRs or marriages. </p>
<p>The scenario you describe sounds safer than going with a bunch of other 18 yr olds to a beach spring break. Hope she has fun!</p>
<p>When a guy dates significantly younger women or women who are in a significantly earlier life stage, I always wonder about whether he is avoiding dealing with a woman who is a peer. Obviously, people are individuals, and sometimes this is true and sometimes it isn’t.</p>
<p>"They would be staying at his grandparents house along with some other family members. " </p>
<p>So are they going with other people that you/she have met? </p>
<p>BTW around here kids don’t go to the beach alone with their friends for spring break. However we have taken our kids to the beach on spring break and have been disgusted by the number of parents who rent a hotel/condo and allow their high school kids go by themselves. A lot of these kids are getting really drunk and some them are driving. </p>
<p>Around here, have never heard if a week at the beach or any other prolonged HS unsupervised similar outing. Maybe it’s a regional thing? I never went off for a week in HS with friends and no parents. My kids never did either. </p>
<p>I think it’s primarily an east coast thing. I had never heard of it before CC. However, around here, seniors do routinely go south for a week unchaperoned during spring break. </p>
<p>The un chaperone breaks I’ve heard of and experienced were when we were in college or grad/pro school. Large #s of kids together on break with virtually no supervision is a recipe for trouble and worse, in my book. The private HS takes our SRs to a neighbor island for a camp weekend, heavily supervised, with lots of organized activities and little free time the kids all return tired to exhausted. ;)</p>
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<p>That’s funny, because when I was a senior in college dating freshmen seemed like cradle-robbing. They were just in such a different place in life. I tried it a couple of times – they were cute! they were impressed with me! – but pretty quickly decided it wasn’t a good idea. And when I got to law school, a few months later, I found that college students completely lacked interest for me. The only exceptions were two seniors: a woman who was older than I who had returned to college after two years playing in a rock band full time, and a woman a year behind me on whom I had had a crush for years, but who had been involved with someone else and had not acknowledged any interest in me until after I graduated (a/k/a, my wife). </p>
<p>The grad student and I dated seriously for about three years and we were even contemplating marriage when our paths diverged–I went on to law school and he accepted a teaching position, at different Us. We stayed friends and had a lot in common. When I was in law school, I dated a grad student for years. We remained friends for many years as well. </p>
<p>I lived in the upperclassmen dorm as a soph transfer students, so mostly met older students. I was NOT at all attracted to the freshmen who seemed like babies to me, with all their drama and rebelling. </p>
<p>“When a guy dates significantly younger women or women who are in a significantly earlier life stage, I always wonder about whether he is avoiding dealing with a woman who is a peer.”</p>
<p>I often do too, but in this case the relationship is a given and it’s lasted for a year. The OP knows the bf and has a positive impression. Someone taking advantage of a younger woman doesn’t usually take her home to meet grandma.</p>
<p>I didn’t say anything about “taking advantage of a younger woman.” Not what I meant. </p>
<p>romani, the week at the beach thing is something I never heard of in New England. From what I’ve observed here, it seems to be most popular from Maryland/VA southward, and perhaps NJ too. Maybe because no one in their right mind would go into the ocean in New England at that time of year. :D</p>
<p>^ Probably why we don’t have it here in MI either lol. The great lakes are cold enough in August let alone May! </p>
<p>Ditto Puget Sound. 
it is freezing year round. I have never heard of “beach week” either - oh stuff we learn here in CC.</p>
<p>I would not give my 18 yr old kid a blessing to go on a weeklong beach boozefest, boyfriend or not. Traveling to stay at BF’s relatives - it depends on the situation, but if all presented info is true, I would have no major objections. </p>
<p>I’m with the majority with this.</p>
<p>as far as “beach weeks”, I live in NJ and have had no experience with this with my kids (some kids did after-Prom weekends at beach). I think the beach week thing might occur with kids from more affluent towns than our mostly middle to lower middle class one.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything wrong with a 3 year age gap and your D is 18; by now you should know if she can be trusted or not. Also she has been dating her boyfriend for 1 year so you know him too. Both my D’s have found that most of the boys their age in college are very immature…as they were in HS. It all depends on the kids involved.</p>