Should I pay for my own college?

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

I have a pretty poisonous relationship with my parents, and I feel like I don’t want to be indebted to them. I know that they’ll hold it over my head for the rest of my life, that they’ll use it to guilt me throughout my life. Part of why I’m going to college is to move away from my parents, and I don’t want to be tied to them forever even in my adulthood.

So should I take on debt and pay for my own college? Or should I swallow the pill, think short-term, and ask my parents to pay for my education?

2

You can only take out 5.5K Freshman year, 6.5K Sophomore and Junior, and 7.5K senior year. Any other loans would have to be cosigned by your parents.

If they are willing and able to pay, let them, and work hard to make good on their investment. Perhaps a little distance will enable you to come to a better working relationship as you transition to adulthood. And if that doesn’t happen, perhaps you can develop strategies so you can repel any future attempts to guilt trip you.

3

You can’t just ‘take on debt’. You can take 5.5k for freshman year. That’s it.
You can, however, prep really hard to get as high a test score as poqsible (act or Sat, often single sitting) as, combined with z good GPA, this will lead to full’rides. Obviously you can’t be too picky as to where you’ll end up if you choose that route and you don’t want to antagonize your parents because you’ll need them to fill out fafsa (unless you find a college that awards merit aid without parents filling out fafsa- not immediately obvious.)

4

I agree…it would probably be best if you could become more independent if you have that kind of relationship…the more you distance yourself the better it will be. I would try to get other sources of funding before trying to get your parents to foot the bill. If your parents are toxic (which they or may not be, but I will assume they are for this post), then also beware of them trying to undermine you. Sometimes there are parents that suffer from “crab mentality”…When one crab tries to climb out of the bucket (gain success), then they will try to pull them back down. They might not want you to “think you are better than them” if they never went to college. They also might think that community college or state publics are not prestigious enough…BUT if you achieve some measure of success they will be quick to take credit for it.

So what you need to do is figure how to get the best value college for the cheapest price. Like others say, you can only take out about $31,000 total in loans yourself without a co-signer.

Some examples are:

+Try to get as much college credit while in HS…then it is usually free or very low cost. For example, AP Classes (and doing well on AP tests), Dual Enrollment at your local Community College. Make sure the colleges you are interested will take that credit.

+Some states let students in the upper 20% go to 2 years of Community College for free…then go to an in-state public college for the other 2 years - they usually

+Go to a college that gives you automatic scholarships based on GPA/SAT/ACT:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html#latest

+Find someone besides your parents (grandparents?) to co-sign loans with you

+Depending on your parent’s income//savings, you may be eligible for need-based aid. In this case I would suck it up and work with them to get the money as they are not the ones giving you the money

+Use the Supermatch tool (look over on the left of this site) You put in your scores and what you want in a school, and it gives you ideas:
http://www.collegeconfidential.com/college_search/

For Merit scholarship opportunities check: “I’m interested in schools where I would be well above average, to increase my financial aid opportunities”. This will allow you to find school where you might get merit scholarships opportunies.

Also think about what you will do over breaks…like Harry Potter, do you have to go home for the summer and suffer through it? Are there other family members you could say with? Or in the future, maybe you can get a summer internship/research opportunity and live on campus or somewhere else.

5

A lot of teens have some friction with their parents as they become more independent and are ready to move out of the house. Teens also tend to overdramatize. Think seriously about what your alternatives are (simply borrowing money to pay for college is not an alternative) and I think you might find a little more appreciation for what your parents are providing to you. And, yes, sacrificing for your behalf.

No matter what you would like to think, you already are indebted to your parents.

How do you expect them to “guilt” you for the rest of your life–and if this does become an issue, why not plan to pay them back at that time, when you have a good job, rather than trying to scrape together money now on the assumption that there is even going to be a problem?

6

@782593795238

there’s two sides to every story. how much of this poisonous relationship is them, and how much is you?

realistically evaluate how much of this toxic relationship is your doing, and do your best to make peace NOW. this will be better for everyone in the long run.

even if you are not indebted to your parents for the rest of your life, you will still have a crappy relationship with them and that’s even worse.

try to fix the relationship first before throwing in the towel

7

Just don’t stay in your hometown for college. Things will be better when you are on campus most of the year.