Hello,
I am currently a freshman football player at a small d3 college. I hurt my shoulder about halfway through the football season and had surgery on it. I am also dealing with chronic knee tendonitis in my left knee and a tight lower back. All these injuries have made it difficult on me and I am questioning on whether or not I should play football next year. I really love the school and team and I have been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life just being a part of the team. I am worried that if I medically retire from the team that I will lose touch with all of my friends. All of my friends are football players. I can’t really imagine going to this school and not playing football because it is so small. I have come up with three options for myself.
1). Stay at school I’m at, play football and tough it out
2). Stay at school I’m at, don’t play football
3) Transfer to a big university and join a fraternity
Anyone have any advice?
Dropping a sport is tough due to the social network you get from it. Are you over reliant on that aspect of your life to socialize? Many student athletes probably are and that is just a natural aspect of spending so much time together. If you decide to drop the sport, and it sounds like your health may require it, then you may have to make a concerted effort to link up with other student groups, frats and others. Probably good for developing networking skills. I suppose you could consider being a team manager, getting a job or doing research in your field. Why don’t you think about all the things you could do at your current school, things football may have prevented, before you transfer. Good luck!
I’d go with Option 2. If your friends can’t understand that you value your long-term health just as much (if not more!) than their friendship, well, they weren’t really your friends to begin with. They were frat buddies. Is that what you want? If so, go with Option 1 and wreck your health, or Option 3 and just get wrecked.
The decision to hang em up is always a difficult one. Very, very few of us are blessed with the opportunity to decide when to leave the game. Most guys have their playing days end through acute injury, a collection of health problems, or quite simply not being good enough to continue. This is especially true in football, given the immense physical strain and stress inherent in the sport.
I understand exactly where you are coming from, as an injury ended my college career many, many years ago. You need to be prepared for your relationships with your teammates to change. Change doesn’t necessarily mean end, but as you well know there is a difference between those who are in the locker room and those who are not. It is just a fact that you will no longer share in some of the things teammates bond over, whether that be puking on the turf at 6:00am in July, or celebrating a victory in the locker room after a game. In my own case, I stayed close with a handful of guys from my position group and class on the team but quite frankly really stopped hanging out with some others. Like with anything else, it really comes down to whether you have a connection with guys beyond being teammates. The guys who are really your friends, and share your interests and outlook, will still be there. The other guys who you hang with in the locker or weightroom, or just randomly see at parties, probably will fade. Another point to consider is that not playing ball will free you up to do other things on campus, which will lead to the development of new relationships.
However you slice it, the end of a career that has taken you to the college level will be a major milestone in your life, and for that reason I would think hard and long about what you truly want to do and what you believe to be best for you long term. We all have regrets, but giving yourself the time now to seriously consider if the benefits of playing out weigh the risks will lessen those “woulda, shouldas” as you get old like me. That works both ways by the way. I know just as many broken down old college and NFL guys who wish they would have stopped playing earlier because of systemic medical issues that cause them problems now as I do guys who wish they could have continued playing. Best of luck.
Can you stop playing football but remain part of the team in some other capacity? Stats guy? Equipment manager?
My son played football at a small D3 university in the midwest. One of his team mates had an injury that ended his career after his junior year. He was able to continue working with the team in some capacity (I can’t remember what he did). The coach was able to find something for him to do with the team so he still participated in practice, traveled to games and saw his buddies during his senior year.
My friend’s son was a D1 runner plagued with injuries from the start. After one year of struggling in his sport, he left the team. He ended up doing a semester abroad to bridge the first semester of not competing. He extended his stay over the summer in his host county traveling with other students. I think it helped him make the transition.
My son plays a different sport at a small D3 as well, still a freshman.
I think he went out of his way to make friends outside the team, so he does not face this issue.
In many sports injuries can end things, and while he is health now, many who play his position are injured and miss a year after surgery or leave the sport. Difficult to juggle school work, team and other activities, But if you just quit, you’ll have time to do other things. I would talk to students who are NOT athletes, and find out about other extra curricular activities on campus that you may find interesting that will lead to other friendships. You will have to do this sooner or later, nobody plays for their entire life.
I agree with a few others here who suggested trying to stay involved with the team in some capacity if you end up leaving football. My son plays a different sport on a D3 team, and a couple of his teammates who have been injured have stayed with the team in different capacities. The active players on the team still treat them as if they are team members and they seem to really fit in. Football is a little different in that the roster is usually quite large, but you might talk to the coaches to explain what is going on and see if they have suggestions. It sounds like you are very happy at the school so it would be a shame to leave because of football.