Should I ride it out at CMU or transfer to NYU?

College Life
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This is ironic because the last post I made on this website was almost three years ago — a “Chance Me” where everyone said all my schools (minus a few art ones) were reaches.

Well, I ended up getting into Carnegie Mellon (the reachiest school on my list) for Fine Arts. I was so happy and grateful that my portfolio work paid off. My parents were supportive, and it felt like a dream come true.

But freshman year hit me like a truck. I struggled socially. The whole culture here seems to be grind, go to class, and grind more. Nobody wanted to have fun. When I tried to be my goofy, bubbly self, it wasn’t well received, so I retreated into my shell again, just like in high school. The art classes also didn’t push me in the way I hoped. They were super open-ended, so I ended up just relying on what I already knew, and my art barely improved.

I felt miserable and lonely, and I knew I could thrive somewhere else, like NYU (which has always been my dream school; I even said it in my post three years ago). My best friend from elementary school goes there. When I visited, I hung out with his friends and immediately clicked. People ACCEPTED and LOVED my weird sense of humor and goofiness. I was completely and utterly myself, and I felt so free and happy. My friends there all told me that if I transferred, I would fit in perfectly, and that I should just do it already. I had more fun that one day at NYU than all my days at CMU combined. So when I returned to CMU after break, I knew it wasn’t a problem with me, it was just a misalignment with CMU’s culture.

Now as a sophomore, I feel like I’m just going through the motions. Everything I actually value and know I’m good at (leadership, teamwork, social skills, even art) comes from outside CMU. Here, it feels like those parts of me are on hold. I talk to classmates and hang out with friends here and there, but it’s not fulfilling. Every day feels like I’m waiting to graduate, counting semesters one by one.

Also, another issue that comes with transferring is that I’m unsure on what my major should be. After spending a year making art in an academic setting, I realized it doesn’t fulfill me as much as when it was just a hobby, and I’m currently trying to transfer into Information Systems, which I like because I can concentrate in UX design, allowing me to put my art/design skills to use. Depending on how I do in 15-112 (CMU’s intro to programming course), I may have a shot at getting in. Currently my plan is to just see how it goes, but I’m not sure if a new major will solve my problems.

So my question is, do I ride it out here at CMU where the culture doesn’t really fit me but it’s a more prestigious institution that I worked hard to get into, or do I shoot my shot at transferring to someplace like NYU where I have a better social network/support system and will enjoy myself a lot more? I’m already a sophomore. If you couldn’t tell by now, I do care quite a bit about balancing social life and academics, and it just seems that CMU lacks this balance.

Looking forward to any advice!

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What is “prestige” going to do for your career in fine arts. My guess. Little. There’s a lot of luck involved in outcome.

You have one life.

Why be miserable?

Now will NYU be good for you just because it was when you visited - I don’t know. Can CMU be ok if you change your attitude?

I don’t know.

But I’d hate to be miserable.

This is a prime example that - there are no dream schools.

Will all credits transfer so you don’t fall behind?

Best of luck whatever you decide.

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So, most people here will tell you fit trumps prestige, and it’s a conscious choice many students make.(I’m not even sure there is a big “prestige” difference between CMU and NYU these days anyway.) And it certainly seems you’d be happier at NYU. Do you have an idea of what major within NYU you would aim at? Are you thinking of any other options for if you apply but don’t get into NYU?

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With respect to the title question, you need to be able to get admitted to NYU as a transfer student to have that option. The chances of that depend on mostly on your college record.

Are there are colleges that would be better social fits while offering the desired academics but would be less difficult for transfer admission in the context of your college record? For example, would any CUNYs and SUNYs be suitable?

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This is not so unusual at a highly ranked university. One issue is that the large majority of students in the university were relatively close to the top of their class in high school. A highly ranked university is likely to be a lot of work in most cases. I would not expect NYU to be easy either.

To me this makes a lot of sense. I was actually quite recently using a software program and thinking “whoever made this needs to put a lot more effort into thinking about and understanding the user experience”. This is an important area, and at least my understanding is that art skills will be needed. To some extent you can teach a smart person to code, but teaching a software engineer to think about the user experience or to be good at art might be quite often more of a challenge.

You might want to take the course, see how it goes, and in parallel apply as a transfer student. I would be tempted to also discuss this with your academic advisor.

My impression from your other thread is that you might be a resident of New York State. If I have this right, and if you want to increase your chances of actually having options when the time comes, you might want to think about whether you also want to apply as a transfer student to a SUNY or two.

“Prestige” is not particularly important in high tech, nor in software engineering. Building something that works, and that users want to use, is important. Finding a good fit for you is also important. I also agree with a comment above that I am not sure that there is much difference in the “prestige” of CMU versus NYU (CMU is very good for computer science, whether either is better for studying “user interface/experience” I would not know).

And of course if you apply to transfer, you are not committed yet to actually changing schools.

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There’s not much difference in “prestige" between CMU and NYU in your fields of interest.

:hugs:You sound miserable - CMU is a “fit school” and choosing it just for perceived prestige when you’re not growing as you feel you ought to, means you need a school that’s better for _you_ and where you will grow, hence ensuring you benefit from college both academically/artistically and personally.

What’s your college GPA? Would you be able to afford an apartment in NYC (I don’t think transfers get college housing)? What major would you be applying to at NYU? Please note you would likely not get any merit aid from NYU so the matter of affordability is essential.

You could also apply to the U/x major within CALS at Cornell (bargain price for a NYS resident).

Apply to transfer (Spring 2026? Fall 2026?) to a few universities. *If* you get into a few, you’ll be able to make a decision. Applying doesn’t mean you have to transfer. Getting in doesn’t mean you have to transfer. Applying only means you give yourself that option if you get in.

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Not sure Cornell is the right answer for this student if they are unhappy at CMU. My D felt CMU and Cornell had very similar vibes.

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No harm in applying to transfer. Also please consider contacting the school counseling center for support. And see if there are any clubs you might like.

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Imho there’s more variety at Cornell - CALS in particular should feel quite different from CMU but you may well be right for this particular student.

In any case my opinion doesn’t really matter here since this would be a NYS student transferring due to fit issues so ensuring the right fit would be very important for OP to determine themselves - I would strongly encourage OP to visit, if possible to spend an overnight where they’ve been admitted, to see for themselves.

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NYU places transfers into dorms if there’s space, so they go on a waitlist behind the students that are guaranteed housing (those that have been in dorms since freshman year with no breaks in using housing other than study abroad are guaranteed housing). My understanding is that there is usually,but not always, space.

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  1. CMU is not more prestigious than NYU in Fine Arts.

  2. Even in the arts, CMU has the reputation of being a place where fun goes to die.

  3. If finances are not an issue, I definitely support the idea of transferring - sooner rather than later.

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Thanks for the NYU transfer dorm situation details. That makes considering transferring easier for OP.

@olibong : seconding the idea you reach out to CMU’s counseling center to make the next couple months (hopefully) more bearable. :hugs:

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@olibong in my opinion, no one should be unhappy for four years of college. BUT keep in mind, a weekend or two visiting is not the same as living there, taking classes and socializing.

That being said, if you can afford the costs to attend NYU, apply to transfer.

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Back when I was still in high school, I remember really liking Tandon’s integrated design and media program. Steinhardt also offers a course in User Experience design specifically for educational tools which I think is pretty awesome. This summer after working at a STEM camp, I realized I love mentoring youth with their programming projects and sharing my knowledge and expertise with others, so education could be a good path for me. So I would probably go for Tandon IDM and take some design/education related courses at Steinhardt.

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:hugs:You sound miserable

thanks :’)

What’s your college GPA?

Currently a 3.74

What major would you be applying to at NYU?

Like I mentioned in another comment, I’m really interested in education and I have a talent for inspiring/motivating people (plus I really love working with kids). I worked at a STEM camp this summer and loved helping kids out with their coding projects and sharing my own work with them. NYU Steinhardt offers a course in User Experience design specifically for educational tools which bridges my interest in art/UX design and education, which I think is pretty awesome.

Tandon also has an integrated design and media program, which seems a little more similar to the classes I’ve already taken in CMU. But NYU Steinhardt does offer the education aspect which CMU doesn’t really have.

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There could be logistical issues with this - Tandon is the Brooklyn campus while Steinhardt is in the Village. Not saying it’s impossible but would probably require careful scheduling, partly to make lectures on time and partly so that you don’t spend all day shuttling back and forth.

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I think you should pursue transferring. At the same time, do everything you can to make CMU work. NYU may not admit you, may not be affordable, may throw too many transfer requirements at you, etc. The best case is that you get a workable offer from NYU and are so happy at CMU that you are struggling with the decision.

While the fit may indeed be wrong, it sounds like your course of study is throwing a huge helping of unhappiness on your meal of discontent. That will follow you wherever you end up, so you need to work that out. Your current plan sounds good, and it might be helpful to talk with someone in counseling about how you’re thinking and feeling about it. You’re clearly multi-talented, and while yes, it’s great to have many gifts, it can be very challenging to figure out what actually makes you happy beyond just doing something well..

As mentioned above, a weekend visit for fun with old friends is a far cry from what reality would be. It’s important to get in touch with that fun, happy part of yourself, but if you expect that day in and day out, you’ll be disappointed again. That’s a bit of a straw man, and no school can match up. Which is all to say - be careful that the NYU fantasy doesn’t ruin your happiness.

Continue to find fun people and things to do where you are. This often requires effort. (Heck, maybe it’s getting involved with something locally, not through the school. Oakland is teeming with young people–some must be fun!) Regardless of how things turn out with the transfer, this is a year of your life. Live it as fully as you can, and be open to joy. And good for you for exploring how to improve your situation!

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And the fact OP was comfortable but at a place they won’t be.

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Have you looked into other schools that would fit you better than CMU but are less difficult for transfer admission than NYU?

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In hindsight, you sound like a good candidate for a smaller liberal arts type school. But sometimes we don’t know that until we try other things. CMU is a big enough institution where you can try taking classes in other departments and explore other majors (with the exception of the extremely competitive ones like CS, etc.) I think NYU could potentially bring up other issues, such as the difficulty/distraction of living/studying in NYC. CMU has much more of a campus feel, has a small town setting around it and is very close to the urban downtown. I think that you can be happy at CMU if you expand your friend network and explore other fields. The “grind” is actually making you a well-prepared college graduate without you realizing it :slight_smile:

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