Should I say anything - gift

Parent Cafe
1

<p>For D2’s birthday, a very good friend of mine gave D2 a gift certificate for 200 from AmEx. D2 was holding on to it because she wanted to buy something special with it. Today H took her to the mall. She had her eye on a bracelet, when she went to pay for it, the GC only had 50 on it. H took the GC and gave her 200, so D2 was fine with it</p>

<p>I am wondering if I should say something to my girlfriend because she could have been charged 200. At the same she maybe embarrassed and it could be awkward. </p>

<p>Question: would you say anything? If you were my girlfriend, would you want to know?</p>

<p>I am opting to say nothing because I don’t want to embarrass her. At the same time, I would want to know so I could find out what happened and give the amount I intended.</p>

2

<p>I was wondering if there would be a way for you to check thru American Express?</p>

<p>Otherwise - you are a woman with my sensibilities - I would rather not embarrass my friend.</p>

3

<p>that is tooo big a difference - perhaps you could try saying that it appears that the card was not "activated’ - I have unfortunately had that happen and they give the buyer a receipt…</p>

<p>this could also be a scam at the tore somehow by an employee…</p>

4

<p>I would check through American Express first. Presumably you thought it was for $200 because that was written on the accompanying card by your friend? I can’t imagine a scenario in which she knowingly bought a $50 card and told your D it was $200. It doesn’t make sense.</p>

5

<p>How long did D hold on to the card?</p>

<p>I don’t know specifically about AmEx, but I found out the hard way that many of these “use anywhere” gift cards are something of a rip-off in that they expire over time. The amount on the card decreases the longer you hold it even though you didn’t buy anything. So your friend may be innocent here - may have actually bought $200 worth in the beginning.</p>

6

<p>I always save the receipts for gift cards for this reason. I think some clerks may scam people with this trick. I give the receipt with the card just in case.</p>

7

<p>I would check the fine print on the back. How long had she had it? Many have fees that kick in after a certain number of months.</p>

8

<p>D2 has had it for 4 months. The reason we knew it was 200 is because it was hand written on the back of the gift card. There was no receipt. My daughter has already written a thank-you note. I was going then let my girlfriend know what D2 bought with the gift card.</p>

<p>If my girlfriend had bought multiple cards and put the wrong card for my daughter, then at least she is not out of pocket. But if she paid AmEx 200 (or at a store that sold AmEx cards), but got a 50 card instead then it’s not right.</p>

9

<p>I agree that is too big of a difference. I would say something- but I would probably start out by asking about getting gift cards and saying that " I heard that…", and try and clarify if she actually purchased a $200 card- or perhaps she had been * given the card* herself and * been told* it was for $200?</p>

10

<p>*American Express has eliminated all fees after purchase on its Gift Cards. Starting on September 30, 2009, Gift Cards issued by American Express will no longer incur monthly service fees. This includes Gift Cards now in stores, those headed to market, and those already purchased. *</p>

<p>Huh.
It sounds like * there used to be* monthly service fees.
I wonder how much they were?</p>

11

<p>One of my teens recently received a greeting card from a relative with a note about a gift card which was missing. I never said anything. It was easier.</p>

12

<p>As a newlywed, my H received a Christmas gift envelope from my grandmother, just like all the other members of our family. As it happened, Grandma had one of those new crisp $20 bills left over after she sealed the envelopes. Guess who’s gift was missing?<br>
Grandma was mortified that the missing one was the newest member of the family, and very relieved that we told her.</p>

13

<p>I would let it go, unless it is a really good friend. If it is close friend, you might mention that you are afraid she may have been the victim of a fraudulent transaction, and was it possible a clerk loaded $50 on the card and $150 on ANOTHER card kept by the clerk…</p>

<p>I always buy cards that have the dollar amount listed on the card. That way, if the card is not active or has less money on it, a recipient would be more likely to call me and say there was a problem.</p>

14

<p>Well you always can ask your friend, my daughter will use the card, how much can she spend?</p>

15

<p>If you have the card you can call amex or the # should be on the receipt for purchase for the item purchased. They will have the dates of use, issue date etc. A number of things could have happened. If you buy gift cards that are different amounts and the card does not have an amount already on it, it is possible to mix them up as well. I think that this happened to us some years back when a card said 50 and it was 25, and I have to say that I figured the person who gave it made a mistake. It did not occur to me that it could have been issuer error or worse. However, I probably would be concerned at a difference of 150. I would not be able to bring this up to most of my friends as it would make me feel too uncomfortable. However, maybe your friend is so close that you could. A gift of 200 to from a friend to my daughter would seem very generous to me (and therefore very close friend?).</p>

16

<p>When the cards start to lose value, it isn’t a round dollar amount, so I think that it is a mix-up. I would want a friend to tell me because I would have kept the $200 receipt and would want your daugther to receive what I intended. </p>

<p>My daughter got a restaurant card from a neighbor for an establishment in her college town–which was expired. I did not say anything because they were not great friends.</p>

17

<p>If I were the friend who’d bestowed such a generous gift on my dear friend’s daughter, I most definitely would want to know about this. Unless you have any reason to suspect the gift-giver here would purposefully do this, AND she’s as good a friend as you say, I’d tell her.</p>

<p>Some of the other scenarios mentioned here where the “missing” value was not mentioned involved lesser amounts or gifts from people NOT that close to the recipient.
I’d probably behave the same way. But a close friend and this much money? Definitely I’d tell the giver.</p>

<p>Of course, the best advice is to first contact Amex and see what you can find out.</p>

18

<p>Please tell your friend…following some of these suggestions. </p>

<p>Tell us what happened…we want to know. It will help all next time we buy one of this certificates or gift cards - Thanks!</p>

19

<p>I’m kind of in a similar situation, but from the gift giver’s perspective.</p>

<p>A year ago, I sent my niece a several hundred dollar gift card to Williams-Sonoma for a wedding that I was invited to two weeks before it happened, and 1000 miles away, in them midst of my own daughters’ moving/traveling issues. I sent the gift after some very hard feelings between her dad and me, which concluded with him sending me a hurtful email, dragging up inaccurate accusations from 15+ years ago (this is a professionally successful guy in his early 60s), and ending it with blaming me for a sense of entitlement that precluded my not sending a gift (never mind you, we never got an announcement either, nor an answer to my request for her new address after I asked her about it). None of this was her fault… I’m sure my brother is planting her head with stories of me that are untrue, so I wanted to reach out to her, and sent her the gift. </p>

<p>Never received a thank-you note from her, so next time I was in Williams-Sonoma, I took my receipt from the gift card purchase in, and they were able to track it. Yes, she did spend it, about a month after I sent it, in a store near to her new house. </p>

<p>My brother and I are not close at all, so I’m not going to bother with asking him if she received it (I know they talk about it, because obviously he knew four months after the wedding that I had not sent anything, hence, leading him to send the nasty email to me). But I had the ability to track it with the store, so I didn’t need to say anything to him (or her). So my gift initially arrived at her home (after I emailed her again to ask for her new address) within five months of the wedding; it’s now been eleven months, and I’ve not gotten a thank-you note. </p>

<p>I’m not meaning to hi-jack this thread, but my point is, if you have a good relationship with your friend, I would recommend asking her… there are some very diplomatic ways to do so, and unless you are a very talented actress, I would be direct… don’t use another topic to ease into this one - it will be noticed. I hate it when people try to get information from you by tip-toeing around the information that they really want. If you’re sincere (and again, if you’re good friends), she’ll know it and appreciate your honesty. I’d want to know.</p>

20

<p>As a friend, I would want to know and be given a chance to correct the mistake. I would hate to think that one of my friends thought that I tried to pull a trick on her or that I was slipping into dementia.</p>