- This isn't a case of BDD. I've done my research.
- Yes something did happen that changed my "appearance" and then some.
- I've called numerous suicide lines and they've all made me feel worse but it's all good because I wasn't expecting them to help me. I only did it because I wanted to confirm my beliefs about them.
- I'm still looking so lets so how this works out.
As long as you believe nothing will help, you are going to be hard to treat, even if you find a reputable therapist who will provide services over the phone. Again, you asked if you should see a psychologist and the answer is still yes. You have to fight for your life and that might mean asking for help. And you can’t be evasive, it will require facing your pain to learn how to cope with it.
A friend posted on her Facebook page “your google research does not equal my medical/graduate degree”. Don’t try to diagnose yourself from Webb MD or google. And the negativity and pessimism expressed is probably part of your depression. Go do something about it. The vague comments here seem to attract attention, which may be what you are needing and looking for. But it won’t solve the underlying problem.
The therapist I went to while I was going through divorce met with me in person before she would do skype sessions with me. I was very despondent for a while, to the point of not able to get out of the bed. I did go on medication for few months before I started feeling better and then was off the medication.
Like OP I was thinking, if my father didn’t die, if my husband didn’t leave me, and if I didn’t lose my job, then I would be happy. But what if I couldn’t change any of those situations, could I still be me and be happy? Over time (not right away), and working hard with my therapist, I started to change how I look at life.
Seeing a therapist is hard work, sometimes I would feel so drained after a session, and their job isn’t to give you a pep talk.
So true @oldfort, I had a couseling professor in graduate school who had a private practice and he would put new clients on fitness plans for a couple weeks before he would start seeing them in therapy sessions. He felt clients needed physical strength to work on emotional health.
Exercise is also great for mental health.
- There is nothing wrong with my attitude. If anything I'm stronger than most people on this forum and people in general. I've managed to not end my life for the past 13 years. 2.Your friend isn't all that great. People don't really need a PHD to help others. This also has nothing to do with attention. I am merely doing this to make sure I make the right decision and that I don't regret what I do.
- I know what it is like to lose someone. When I was 6 I lost my mom but that never affected me like what happened to me when I was 12. I'm also in relatively good shape and have better conditioning than most people.
- Anyways, I'll make a few phone calls today and see what I can do.
Most people do not even consider suicide, so pondering it frequently, even if managing it successfully, is not a sign of strength. It is a sign of depression. Please go get professional help.
The OP has received a great deal of support and helpful posts. Hopefully this will help in assisting the OP. Closing thread.