I won’t divulge too much into my problems but I have a real problem unlike most college students. I’ve thought about solutions to my problem and there isn’t a way out. My only two options are two live long enough and just deal with it or to end it now but I also want to make sure that I tried everything possible before I make my final decision.
For the record, I am not weak nor am I a debbie downer.
Yes, you should go to your schools counseling services or student health services TODAY first thing. Skip classes if you have them to go. You need some help and that’s what they are there for.
Go. You are being very sensible in considering all your options first. So of course you should go and see if they can’t help you. Sometimes a different perspective is vital to seeing the answer.
Having read your other posts, I understand more of what you are going through, @s21792g
Yes, you should go to see a trained professional. You are still young, and believe it or not, your brain is still developing. You are still trying to figure out your path in life - and despite how unique your situation is - you are very much in a similar situation to a lot of young people.
Your path may have had a few more twists and turns, or boulders and branches in the way, than many others. Yes, it is often hard to deal with. But what is perhaps hardest for you, an introvert, to consider, is that there are lots of other people who successfully manage to deal with the crap that life throws at them.
And please remember that success for you means success for YOU - not anyone else’s definition.
Also, the simple fact that you are considering seeing someone is a huge step - it means you are recognizing that you have problems that you are not sure you can handle by yourself yet.
There are a number of threads started here by young people who have wondered about getting help - and I don’t recall any of them where parents have discouraged anyone from getting the help that they need. But I do recall quite a few of them where not just the original poster has come back to thank those that encouraged him/her to go get themselves the help they need to deal with their own struggles, but also other posters have commented back to the OP that it was because of their thread that they decided to get help themselves, or help for a family member, or just a better understanding of someone else’s problems.
So, if that makes sense, you have quite likely helped someone else without realizing it.
Yes. There’s no shame in it and it could be life changing. Just do it! Now.
And don’t give up. Sometimes the first person you see isn’t a match, and you have to work up the strength to try someone else. There are different personalities as well as different therapeutic approaches. Some resonate more than others. Best of luck to you!
Getting help means being proactive. If you don’t tell anyone what is wrong, they can’t help you. Please just bite the bullet and go to your college counseling center. They want to help you. And have you talked to your parents? As a parent, I would be distraught if my child was suffering and didn’t tell me. Please tell your parents. Your parents love you and will want to help you.
Yes get help I know what it is like to drown in depression and nobody seems to get it. The high school I started at in 9th grade was for gifted kids and very hard to get into . Around 10th grade I had bad anxiety and deep depression to the point I couldn’t leave my bed. I had to leave the high school and did online high school and I failed that. I ended with GED because I was five credits from graduating high school but with low gpa 2.5 unweighted and i would have to graduate year later. I learned I have major depression and I’m coping with it. I had so many moments when I wanted to end it all to stop feeling the way I was but I would always tell myself yes I feel bad right now but I know later I won’t feel as low as I was .I have a great psychiatrist and psychologist that helped me learn to cope better and meds improve my mood. Seeking help and telling someone will make difference. I went to community college and I will be transferring . If I would ended it I never would experienced the great things I do now if I ended my life. I’m sorry for the long essay but you’re not alone so don’t give up keep fighting
By all means get help, and understand that it doesn’t mean you are weak, or are seeking attention or all the other things some of the anti psychologist/pull yourself up by your bootstraps types love to yell about on talk radio and such. Everyone has times in their life when things seem out of control, when it seems like nothing is working right, and if people were honest, a lot of those who claim they never had any problems like that are likely lying. I have been there, I went through a very, very rough time around the time my son was born in dealing with both work and family life issues (with my birth family and my mother in law), and there were times I swear that the only things that kept me going were the duty I felt towards my son, and other times I don’t know how I pulled through…but I did, my son is 21, all 6’ 2 of him, and I made it, too:)
Human beings are complex, and the only simple things in the human race are people who think things are simple:). The counselors are there to help you, and the biggest thing is being able to talk about what you are feeling, but more important, figure out why you are feeling as you do. Emotions are very real and very powerful, and the one thing to understand is that they are neither good nor bad, they simply are, and you learnt to deal with them when you get help:).
Please go talk to someone. You said you don’t see the way out…but someone else can. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Yesterday you came to this board. Today think about what everyone said. Tomorrow start researching your colleges web page for counseling professionals. Be courageous and make that phone call. I know that is a hard thing to do, but you can do it.
No one knows how I feel about myself and if people knew then I think people would be shocked. I am also not like a lot of people who suffer from “depression”. Personally, I don’t think a psychologist will be able to help me because my problem isn’t psychological. I’ve also called numerous suicide crisis lines and they have been unable to help me. I’ve also called the school psychologist and asked if I could have over the phone therapy and she claimed that she was unable to do that and that I would have to walk into her office to get treatment. On another occasion I called the psychologist assigned to my city and left a voicemail and asked if she could offer me treatment over the phone or if I could schedule an appointment and I never got a call back ( this was weeks ago).
Anyways, I don’t even know if I’m depressed because I can be really genuinely happy at times and don’t really fear death or ending my life. The only thing that bothers me is leaving my family behind and how that will affect me.
Psychologists cannot bill for phone sessions. We also cannot bring our years of training to make a connection and an evaluation. We really need to sit with someone for at least an hour. We are trained to know if we need to refer to a physician if the problem could be more medical then psychological.
I hope you do go see someone in person.
Please let us know what you do today. We really are interested and we really do care.
Make that appointment, go see that school psychologist, and tell her how you feel about yourself. I believe you will find that she will not be shocked.
Let her make the determination about whether she can help you, or whether she prefers to refer you to another person who can do so better than she can.
There is a sense in which every problem we face has a psychological component or effect. After all, don’t we have thoughts and feelings about our lives, our circumstances and our very selves? A psychologist can help you explore those thoughts and feelings, perhaps challenge some of them, and help you come around to a way of thinking that moves you closer to a fulfilling career and life.
We are rooting for you!
If you feel you need help, you should go. It is a sign of strength, not weakness to seek help and many of us need it at one time or another.
I am sending good thoughts to you.
Defintely Defintely go…you will feel so much better to be able to talk someone. My DD had some mental health issues earlier and she finally got the courage to talk to someone she trusted at school and that immediately turned into her getting professional help and medications and doing so much better. Once your issue is starting to affect your life, and what you are able to do (or not do), it is time to talk to someone.
We are all anonymous here…I know that it’s easy to forgot that since we communicate do many things. Tell us what’s wrong. We don’t know you. there are so many of us that collectively we might be able to offer help.
What do you have to lose? Nothing. But you might gain something! If you are willing to do over the phone therapy, then reaching for help this way shouldn’t be too hard.
I don’t know if you have done something regretful, but you’d be surprised how many of us probably have a secret. People can’t help if you don’t let them.
You are right about your family. Speaking as a mother, the devastation if one of my kids killed themselves would be something I wouldn’t recover from. You owe it to your loved ones to seek help and open up. Hugs to you, dear.
@op-
I am not a psychologist or a therapist, but one thing I do know is depression, and the symptoms you think might be indicative of depression might be a very broad set of symptoms. For example, you would assume that being depressed, someone would sit around all day and crying or something, or be in the blues all the time, but that isn’t true, depression has many levels to it. Depression isn’t just caused by a loss or by feeling hopeless, it can be caused by anger as well (was in my case), and it can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Someone who is depressed has periods when they are happier, flowing, but at other times, life can be like walking through honey in January in Alaska. Suicidal thoughts can be caused by other things other than depression from what I know, and it could be there is something else at work here. Sometimes depression can be like not feeling at all, being numb, I have been there, and yes, thoughts of things like dying when I was in that state were not all that scary…
The reason they don’t want to work over the phone is that when you are in session, things like body language play a big role in the provider working with you, plus a lot of therapy is based on the interaction between the provider and patient, it isn’t just talk. Being on the phone also allows the patient to more easily distance themsleves from what it is being said, and that raises a question you need to ask yourself, why don’t you want to go to the office to talk to the psychologist?
Speaking again from my own experiences, I think it is good that you have something to hang on with the impact on other people, that helped me a great deal, when I was slogging through some pretty horrible crap, I did have something to hang onto, a young child and a spouse dependent on me, plus I also knew if I was gone what it would do to them, if not to friends (my extended family was the cause of much of my angst, so for me, the impact on them wouldn’t matter, at the time or even now).
Again, I am only speaking for myself as someone who has been there, if not for the same reasons for your distress, at least with similar emotions, and all I can tell you is that it is very, very easy to rationalize away things, to find excuses not to deal with things (I was a master of that, believe me), to try and explain to yourself that it is not what people think it is (depression, whatever), but I can also say the work is worth it:).
I know what’s causing my depression and I know the cure but the cure to my depression isn’t realistic. Also, I still struggle to put into words as to how it is that I feel. If you’re wondering why I don’t want to see a psychologist in person it is because I am embarrassed and don’t want someone else to know what it is that I am going through. It’s personal to say the least. Also, I’m not as weak or immature as some of you make me out to be. The fact that I’ve lived this long says a lot about me.
If you have to ask, yes. Furthermore, a perfectly healthy, mentally sound person can benefit from a visit to a counselor. Nothing wrong with advice.