I didn’t get the impression that you are weak or immature.
I do think you need to get over the embarrassment that is holding you back from help. Everyone who gets help finds it hard to take that first step in opening up about what is bothering them. It’s always personal.
Listen, you have clearly lived through hard things, so you can do this one more hard thing: make the appointment. Do it for yourself. Believe that there is a way forward out of depression, and that it is doable.
I guess I’m confused. If you already know you don’t want to see one, then why ask the question here? I can’t think of one person here on CC, who after reading what you wrote, wouldn’t say yes, you should see a mental health professional. If we haven’t dealt with mental health issues with our own kids, we’ve certainly seen them in the friends of our kids. There’s not a parent here, whose family and/or friends is immune to mental health issues.
And I can absolutely guarantee you that no matter who you see, they’ve likely already dealt with someone with your kind of problems/situations before. You won’t be their first, nor their last. It’s actually the weak and immature who won’t seek out help when they need it.
As I mentioned before, I’ve attempted to receive help through crisis counselors and none of them have really been able to help me. One of my biggest fears is that the same thing will happen if I see a psychologist. I am not saying that I am smarter than they are but if they tell me the same cliche lines or don’t offer me a real solution then that would pretty much put the nail on the coffin if you know what I mean. Also, it’s not easy for me to admit this in real life because no one knows how I feel about myself…my dad once bragged about me to my younger siblings of how proud he was of me because of how motivated and outgoing despite my situation…the more I talk about my feelings the more confused I become.
It sounds like you are potentially suicidal. You need immediate care, an emergency safety evaluation at least. I can’t promise you that the next psychologist will be the one to help you, it may take several tries, but you are obviously here seeking a life line, grab it. Also, if your father knows about your embarrassing situation, can you talk to your father about helping you to find the services that you so obviously seem to need?
Psychologists will not judge you or the issue that brings you in the door. Go take care of yourself.
Please get help! You can see that we are concerned about you.
If the next person you see doesn’t have a workable solution for you, ask for a referral to someone else. Don’t stop trying. Help is out there, but you have to take the first step because it won’t just come to you.
I’m not sure where you live, but is there a good local hospital with a strong psychiatric department? It sounds like you are in a lot of anguish. If you are thinking about suicide, you probably would benefit from medication and a psychologist would refer you to a psychiatrist anyway. I would suggest that you go now and visit the emergency room of the closest good psychiatric hospital (or department). If there is one nearby affiliated with a university, that might be a good option. Psychologists and psychiatrists are trained and compassionate. Believe me, they have heard it all and will not judge you. Just be open about what is causing you such distress so that someone can help.
I guess I’m just a tad confused.
Your question is, Should I see a psychologist? and you describe how you feel.
Every single response has been Yes, you should see a psychologist.
Yet, you say,
So I’m not understanding what you are looking for from us. We all want to help – surely you can see that from the responses – but it sounds like you don’t want any help, either from us or from a psychologist.
Yes, there are bad psychologists out there. If you get one of those, don’t assume all are like that.
Yes, there are good psychologists out there with whom you won’t click – just like dates, or books, or ice cream flavors. If you get one of those, just move on.
Something is wrong with the forum; I can’t edit my last comment. Regardless, here’s what I want to add:
If you don’t go to a psychologist, nothing will change.
If you do go to a psychologist, something might change.
So I really don’t understand why you don’t just get off your duff and go.
If you are thinking about killing yourself you need to go to the emergency room or crisis center and tell them that you are thinking about killing yourself.
That will be the beginning of getting help.
You have tried to fix things yourself. You have not been able to. You have been driving the bus and getting nowhere,going in circles. It is time to let someone else drive the bus and take you where you need to go.
Counseling is confidential. They will keep your secrets. I KNOW when you finally tell someone what you think is so horrible you will find that it is not anywhere near as horrible as you believe it to be. I KNOW this.
Hand someone else the keys to your life for awhile. It will immediately make you feel better. Trust me.
Please, please listen to the unanimous voices here–seeking help is STRENGTH and the quickest and best way to get some lasting help. As some have said, it may take a few tries and several sessions, but developing good counseling relationships takes time and effort by patient and counselor.
YOU deserve this–please reach out to your campus counseling office today–now. We all care and want you to get help so you can be all you are meant to be.
No one is seeing you as either weak or stupid, far from it, a weak or stupid person wouldn’t reach out for help like you are. It kind of sounds to me like you have grown up around the kind of culture where admitting you have a problem to someone or going to a professional is a sign of weakness or something. Want to know something? It takes a brave person to admit they are struggling with something, admit there is something wrong, and being willing to do something about it. A lot of the time those who scoff at therapy and psychologists IME are those afraid of what will come out in there and so they scoff to avoid having to deal with it. The thing about therapy is the patient has to be willing to work, and also it takes trust with a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist, and that has to be built. I have been to schmuck therapists in couples counseling where the guy didn’t have a clue, we started with another therapist and in the space of a couple of sessions, she had a lot of things nailed down about us, things to look at. With all due respect to the crisis counselors you may have seen, crisis counselors, as good as they are, are designed to deal with the immediate emergency, they are not the long term care, it is like an ER versus getting admitted to the hospital, the ER keeps you alive, the hospital fixes things.
And you are talking to someone who is one of the more self reliant types out there, who hates to ask for help, who grew up thinking therapy was a bunch of gibber jabber, who thought that much of what I faced was my own problem to solve, so I am not talking theoretically or hypothetically. I dealt with hard things in my own life and also had to deal with hard things with someone I love a lot had in their life, and one thing I learned was what I thought was BS, that with the right person, seemingly impossible things can be worked out. The other thing you have to realize is because therapy is not one size fits all, if it doesn’t work with one person, you try another until you find that fit, it is a very close relationship, it isn’t getting a car fixed or a roof repaired, it is about trust , about being able to open up and not feel judged, and that takes being compatible.
One thing someone said is very true, you know if you don’t do something the issues aren’t going away, so what do you have to lose? The one thing I can tell you, a psychologist or therapist won’t judge you, that is fundamental to the work they do and it is a main part of their training, they aren’t a parent, they aren’t some judgemental religious counselor, and they certainly won’t tell anyone else, whatever you say stays in that room. Being embarassed is a natural feeling, and it takes time with a therapist to get to the point where you trust them, but once that happens, it is an amazing relief to be able to talk about it.
Another yes here. You clearly want help because you keep reaching out. But you are reaching out to the wrong people. It’s like asking a cow for orange juice.
Importantly, you can see someone and not immediately spill what your issue is. The minute you walk in the door you need not say “my grandfather abused me” or “I am a fraud” or “I’m cutting” or “my mom is having an affair and I don’t know if I should tell my dad” or “I’ve maxed out my credit cards and my parents are going to kill me” or whatever. Of the therapists I have seen I would say many of them will tell you what the patient says the problem is when they walk in, isn’t. I’d recommend telling the therapist how embarrassed you are. Perhaps they could ask you yes/no questions. “Is this something someone has done to you?” if yes “was it physical” if yes “was it a stranger” etc etc.
Family sexual abuse may not be your issue, I use it as an example above because it hits on very taboo subjects which people often are naturally reluctant to speak of. But speaking about it can be done. As it can in your case, whatever the facts are. Wishing you good luck in the journey.
"I know what’s causing my depression and I know the cure but the cure to my depression isn’t realistic. "
Just a hunch here. Are you suffering from confusion about your gender identity / believe you are trapped in the wrong body, but that the “cure” - reassignment surgery - isn’t realistic for your situation?
I am sorry if I am rubbing some of you the wrong way but I guess I just need a push or maybe someone here knows of a therapist that offers over the phone therapy. And to clarify, no my problem has to do with being sexually abused nor does it have to with me wanting to change my gender but I will say that I do feel trapped in this body and if I were in a different body then I wouldn’t be depressed…anyways thanks for your concerns I will see what I can do about my problem.
Psychologists have ethical guidelines and laws that they must abide by to remain licensed. Services over the phone place psychologists in a vulnerable position liability wise, especially if they never see you face to face first. You asked a question, should I see a psychologist? The answer has been overwhelmingly YES. But you will have to do just that, SEE one. You need help. Ask your parent to help you get help if you don’t feel you can on your own.
Well, some things about our bodies can be changed (through weight gain/loss, strength training, cosmetic surgery, orthodontics etc. which may involve saving up to afford the procedure.) Some other problems cannot be changed.
The older I get the more my bodily problems are of the latter sort. This takes grace and acceptance. However, I realize that many younger people also have bodily problems they cannot change. Someone who has cerebral palsy, for example, or vision loss, or deafness. And of course people with conditions like diabetes, epilepsy, bipolar disease, and so many other conditions, which may require the ongoing use of medications.
If this is the case, then counseling my help a person to come to a greater level of acceptance of those things that can’t be changed. It may help them to not define themselves by their disabilities or to allow their problem to limit their choices in life.
My father had polio, and one short/skinny leg as a result. He limped badly and needed a custom made boot. He was born in a small European town in the 1920s and had severely limited career choices. But growing up, I never saw him as disabled. He did what he wanted to do in every way that he could. I’m sure he would have loved to have a healthier body, but he did okay with the one he got, and it didn’t prevent him from wooing and winning the girl he liked. Sometimes mind-set is everything.
This is off topic for this thread, but there are some situations where telehealth services are appropriate and reasonable. Just sayin’
On the chance that this is not just embarrassment, but also a situation where you have physical limitations making travel to a face-to-face appointment a challenge.
Have you considered something like Teladoc - where you can essentially Skype with a doctor? Not sure if this would work for psychiatrists, but it is probably worth trying
I remember calling the school psychologist and she told me that the main reason she needed me to walk in was because she needed to read my body language among other things but she made no mention of liability. I’ve been looking online for some places where I can see a psychologist and see some of the ratings but I’m gonna call them first and ask if they can offer me over the phone interview. I tried one today and they told me they were going to charge me 35 and I told them that if I could pay them and still get over the phone therapy but she said no.
Never in a million years did I think I would be asking for help.